u/WuTheLotus

Exactly a month ago, I wrote this about my mother showing up at my door: https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultKids/s/KykhJl5eFa

If you commented and I didn’t answer, I apologize; I was in shock for quite a while after that and couldn’t process talking about it. But I did read every response, and each one made me feel seen and supported. So thank you for caring 💙

In the days following this incident, we installed cameras and blocked some more of the flying monkeys, which made us feel a little safer. I also spoke to a lawyer who pretty much dismissed me, which made me feel quite defeated. He said it’s complicated, it could backfire, basically gave me 0 chance. I kind of stopped trying, which I learned today was a huge mistake.

She came back. Middle of the day, entered the gated building once again, lurked at the door for a long time. She tried calling my partner, whom she pretended didn’t exist for the entire estrangement period so far. When he didn’t answer, she left a voicemail about just wanting to see us and called my MIL, whom she tried to order to get us/me to talk to her. MIL must think we’re all insane by this point. She also told her she checked that our car was there, so she knew we were home.

She lurked, then eventually left. My partner went out to make sure she was gone, and found a note that subtly accused him of hiding me or hurting me or something. It’s subtle enough that only someone who knows her could read the poison between the lines.

Perhaps the weirdest thing is that, a while after she left, my angel of a cat started howling and scratching at the door still imbued with her perfume. She has no beef with anyone, so it’s pretty clear she could sense something off with this particular person.

We’re terrified and seriously considering moving from the home we love. Thank you for reading.

București. Cum spune și titlul, caut un avocat care să mă ajute să transmit un mesaj cu consecințe legale (un soi de cease and desist, presupun) unei rude cu care nu doresc niciun contact, dar care continuă să mă hărțuiască: telefoane și mesaje de pe numere multiple, implicare a altor persoane în conflict prin manipularea adevărului în avantaj propriu, venit deja de 2 ori la ușă - intrat în bloc abuziv, pândit pe la uși, pe la mașină etc.

Rog fără glume sau sfaturi de viață, caut strict consiliere legală. Mulțumesc.

Calls, texts, flying monkeys, banging on my door, now calling and texting from random numbers with delirious concocted stories (since all of the known avenues have been blocked). Yes, it’s exhausting. Yes, it feels extremely violating and leaves me shaking for hours at a time. But every single one of these instances also consolidates my decision to burn any and all bridges to hell, because they remind me exactly who she is and exactly why I cut her off.

We didn’t answer, even though she probably heard us inside. She appears to have left, I’m still shaking. 5 months NC, no idea how one even leaves their home after this. I’m terrorized. So is my partner. So is our cat. I’m considering a cease and desist.

Why is there such a huge difference between official reviews, where this is widely regarded as one of the best fountains on the market, if not *the* best, and consumer reviews that can get very negative. Especially here, on Reddit, it’s probably the most divisive pet tech product I’ve ever come across. How does one decide if it’s worth buying or not? I really am torn.

It’s shocking how many random people are suddenly *so* invested in my wellbeing, repeatedly calling and texting to "hear my voice." It’s not like, pre-NC, they gave a single shit about me outside of needing me to do something for them.

Abusers are bad, flying monkeys are nauseating in their own right.

Just this; my 4 months+ estranged mother called me from my dead grandmother’s phone today. I saw a dead person’s name brought to life on my phone screen because she knows no boundaries whatsoever. My heart sunk, but I was also hit by the absurdity of it all at the same time. Like, she will stop at nothing, literally nothing. Countless flying monkeys blowing up my phone nearly every weekend. No peace to be had, little space to heal. I left to end the suffering, yet I’m *still* the one suffering. How is that fair?

It feels like most people who post about their experiences with flying monkeys engage with them and explain themselves in one way or another. I, on the other hand, can’t even imagine picking up the phone when I see a name I *know* is calling about my mother, let alone discussing her in any way. Even thinking about it makes my heart sink.

These people are either "family" members who have been gossiping about me for years behind my back because I’m the one who dares have boundaries, or acquaintances of hers who would have 0 other reason to contact me.

Does anyone else feel the same? Am I making a mistake by not standing up for myself to anyone who violates my privacy? I just let the calls go to voicemail and ignore all texts.