I feel like there's still a lot I don't know about the game. Will playing Madden be helpful in learning more about the basics and fundamentals?
I can write a whole fucking novel, but I don't even want to think about all my past traumas at this moment, I have a therapist to work through that. Sorry if I'm going to be vague.
But right now, I am just grateful for everything that I thought I'd never had. I never thought I'd ever make anything beyond sustenance salary and wasn't ever certain I would end up in a decent career path. I never thought I would ever be able to afford a place like this. I never thought I'd be married to an amazing woman or anybody at all. I never thought I would travel the world as much as I have. I never thought I would build a positive connection with my formerly neglectful mother or see my estranged father in a well keeled mental state. I never thought even thought I'd be alive today after surviving an OD, kidnapping, set ups by people in my old life, stalking by former friends who had grudges against me, getting involved with people I shouldn't have, etc. I never thought I would feel this safe for this long. I never thought I would meet nothing but good people on a regular basis and have the positive thriving social life I would today. I never thought I would pick up hobbies beyond doomscrolling. I never thought I would be able to lose all the body fat I did (without glp1s) and put on decent muscle. I never thought I could ever fix my completely fucked up mindset and the decades of trauma I was exposed to.
It took nearly a decade of constant grinding, falling, grinding, falling and endless suffering. I had years where it took a 200% of all my energy and willpower to move forward one step just to fall back 100 steps. And that cycle was repeated nonstop. The law of attraction is true, when you're at the bottom of humanity you see some fucked up shit and become surrounded by some of the most depraved evil humans, and also some of the saddest people you can't even imagine. I lost a lot of friends, family, acquantances and even old mentors. That fucked me up, but I made peace with it.
I'm starting to see people in a less cynical and evil light now that I'm in a a different place in my life, where I'm not surrounded by people at the fringes of society anymore. It's nice being able to consistently be surrounded by "normal" and healthy people. I'm not religious, but sometimes I just want to thank a higher power for not giving up on me, even when I gave up on myself multiple times in the many years of struggle.
Today, I have the privileged of feeling like an excited kid waiting for my new PS5 to deliver tomorrow. This will be the first console I've had in 17 years and I'm ready for GTA 6. Then next month, my wife is taking me to the US Opens.
Meal: Ribeye steak cooked to medium with Sicilian olive oil (w/ salt, pepper and garlic powder), jasmine rice and kimchi.
Long story short I spent a decade making between $35k-55k a year working 12-16 hour days in California and grinded for years through difficult jobs and a master's part time to lift myself up. Before my recent promotion, I was working 12-20 hour days in current role. After years of sacrifice and uncertainty, the hard work and immense sacrifice paid off. I'm securely earning 6 figures. But everything I held off buying for years has now inflated.
- My groceries have doubled. I looked at some old receipts from 2019, and everything has more than doubled. I buy less and pay more now. The good news is I have been losing weight.
- After years of saving, I finally wanted to buy a PS5. I held off even in recent months as a refurbished one was $400, and now it's $500. I then thought about an Xbox Series S that was going for $329 refurbished and last week it went up to $400.
- I've wanted a nice watch for over a decade. Last year I was eyeing some second hand/grey market Omegas and Tudors going for $3-4k. This year, they're $5-6k.
Update: I pulled the trigger on refurb PS5 for $500, it's not getting any cheaper.
When I put on my BB58, I become the shield that protect the Rolex crown. It's a great honor to perform my duties.
Just curious. I'm in tech and I notice within my tech circles, it's mainly smartwatches or no watches. Among my non-tech friends who are mainly in business operations, sales or finance, it's Rolexes or Pateks. My physician friends mainly wear smartwatches or Cartier.
I have a weird feeling this is the new paradigm for the job market. Before 2008, finding a job was easy. After I finished college nearly a decade after the great recession, I remember how hard it was to find jobs between 2015-2019, even though the economy was considered good. The job market never eased up after that, except for a brief moment in 2021.
Now, with AI, outsourcing, higher interest rates, corporate greed and other factors at play, once the next recession hits, I'm sure the job market will permanently be harder than what it is now.
Growing up was fucked up and I'm still mentally fucked up from the shit I've seen and experienced from childhood to my early 20s. Because of who I used to be and who my friends were, I almost got into deep shit a number of times, including being kidnapped, robbed, having close people to me die, watching countless friends/family succumb to severe mental illness (schizophrenia, psychosis, addictions, etc) and having to watch my back all the time.
I hung out with people near the bottom of society.
In order to protect my peace and keep myself safe as a grown adult, I no longer associate with anybody I've met before college except for my mom, stepdad, 1 cousin and a lifelong friend.
I beat the statistics and now live in a nice high rise, have a master's, 6 figure fintech career, Tesla and most importantly an amazing wife who accepts me for who I am.