u/YMISleepy

In March of last year I had someone who I was friends with tell me to leave her alone after she thought I posted something about her on Instagram and saying that I shouldn’t bring her name up at all. I told her it was not about her at all but she was adamant that it was. She started making up lies about ppl hating me and how I’m the reason for her not getting a job at the place she wanted. Mind you, this was also on my birthday.

Later that night I spoke with a friend who saw I wasn’t myself and he took me out for a drink and asked what the problem was. I told him that a friend ended things and it’s a gut punch because not only is it on my bday, but it wasn’t even about her but her paranoia got to her. He told me to let it be. If she knew the real me, she’d know it was a misunderstanding. I blocked her on my phone cuz I didn’t want to be triggered again with these lies. At the same time, I also cut ties with someone else who sided with her even though this person knew me for years and knew I wasn’t capable of doing such a thing. Not thinking clearly, full of emotion, I wrote on IG “Been nice knowing ya. Gotta cut some people off when you know they’re no good.”

For 1.5 years I’ve done my best to give her space. I’d see her randomly when I went to the gym but I’d say I saw her a total of 10 times since last yr and that was usually when I was getting ready to leave, so no more than a minute or so.

Recently, I found my old iPad and when I turned it on, I saw she sent a text message the day after my bday at 6:32am with “yo” and another one at 11:30am with a “I told you not to mention me.”
So either my friend said something to her when I spoke to him or someone showed her my Instagram post about cutting people off and thought it was about her.

I haven’t reached out and not sure if it’s worth reaching out to after 18 months however it’s clear someone was acting as a spy and told her I spoke to him or someone showed her the post and once again made her believe it was about her.

I’m not sure whether it’s even worth reaching out to clear the air or let it die but I know that for her to send that second message at 11:30am clearly meant she got word about the night before. I just want her to know I was hurt from her actions and was not naming her therefore she needs to stop being paranoid and assuming everything is always about her.

Lauren didn’t like that I joined the same gym as her.

For 2 years Lauren kept saying she was there first and that i should not be there. She basically thought I was spreading rumors about her outside of the gym and I never was because I had proof it wasn’t me. Any time her narrative didn’t work out for her she’d get infuriated.

During these 2 years I was being me. I’m a very encouraging person and lifting ppl up at the gym. I use my story of depression and suicide attempts to remind them that no bad day is worth going through what I went through. I brought a lot of positivity in that small community and members and trainers all enjoyed my company whenever I was there.

After 2 yrs of making sure I don’t take a class with that wackadoo, it happened. We were the ONLY 2 in the class!! So… I minded my business, did my workout and left.

Two days later I get a text from my boxing coach, (who no longer works at this gym) telling me that Lauren told him I was in the same class as her and to stop going there. That I must respect her boundary. I replied back I went for a class and left. I did not interact with her.

The very next day, I spoke with the gym owner and manager. I gave them the full story. Lauren has been harassing me for 2 years to leave and I just want to come for 45 minutes and escape my stress. I do my best not to bother anyone and try to be a positive member.

They learned about the former employee reaching out to me and were fuming that he was dictating my actions.

I was told I am ALWAYS welcomed to come. Lauren has no right to be telling me to stop attending and the former employee has no right to be telling me to stop attending. They said my actions are the reasons why they started posting make mindful quotes and added a women’s circle class because we need that safe space.

To end it, they said they’ll keep an eye on Lauren and if this ever happens again or if another member complains about her she will be gone. They won’t tolerate a toxic member when the goal for a gym is to work on yourself.

So now I feel better knowing the owners are aware, fully agree that I can attend at any time and that no one but them are allowed to decide who can and cannot enter their business, and that they’ll take appropriate actions if Lauren starts shit up again.

Lauren’s goal is for me to get into trouble and be miserable. Funny how it ALWAYS backfires on her.

Lauren thought I was spreading rumors about her and talking bad about her even though I never was.

After many months of gaslighting me, she chose to do the ultimate low blow: ending our friendship on my bday.

Sure, I was sad at first. I mourned the friendship. Then I chose to seek revenge in the shadows.

Many months later I noticed she and her best friend no longer talk. They’d go to the gym together, talk the entire time, etc. at first I thought they were just tired and didn’t wanna say hello. So I continued to observe. After several weeks the pattern never changed. They must’ve stopped the friendship as well.

Many more weeks pass by and it’s the end of December. I see the former friend at the gym and built up the courage to say hello to her, just to be friendly. I asked how her holidays are coming along. She began to cry. I asked if she’s ok and she explained that she quit her job due to toxicity and it’s been difficult for her these last few weeks.

Feeling awful, I hugged her. Anyone with a heart would.

We began to talk and formed a close friendship. Eventually that friend told me she ended the friendship with Lauren because she was treating her terribly. Gaslighting her, lying to her, etc. sounds familiar, right?

That girl and I have become bestest friends and I’ve become close to Lauren’s circle of friends. Surprisingly enough, they all revealed they hate her. They know she uses them and they know she lies left and right. I asked why still be friends with her then? They said they really aren’t. They don’t hang out with her, they just have a gym friendship with her and eventually they will drop the bomb on her that they’re ending all ties with her because they aren’t stupid and caught her lying plenty of times.

She sees the photos on Instagram of me in the group photos with them. So she’s well aware I’m liked by them while she continues to believe her narrative of me spreading rumors about her.

Not sure if you’d call it revenge but the fact that I’m part of her social circle and they enjoy my company enough to invite me to all places without her getting invited feels like sweet revenge to me.

Hey,

I know we haven’t spoken in a little over a year. I needed to step away because I was very hurt about some things that happened and really needed to process everything.

I know there are some unsaid things between us. I’m not here to cause you any pain or reopen old wounds. I’m just here to here I’m very sorry for what I did. I know you didn’t want me to mention you and I did. It was a betrayal and it hurt you.

Over the last year and a half I’ve been humbled a couple of times. I’m not who I was a year ago. Life has a funny way of showing it.

If you ever want to talk, I’m ready to listen. Until then I’ll continue to respect your boundary.

-H