u/Yevdokiya

Back again. 😁 Here's hoping the stakes are finally getting clearer. Thanks in advance for any feedback!

Dear Agent,

I am excited to offer you Jouet, my 79,000-word literary science fiction novel. It reinterprets the tragic opera La Traviata with twists of Ex Machina and Companion. Jouet will appeal to readers who enjoy explorations of human relationships through AI perspectives, blending the poignancy of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun with the tense sexual dynamics of Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. It is a standalone with series potential that reinterprets operatic storylines in the same world.

2175. As the first Jouet—a synthetic human plaything—Leela provides pleasure to the elite of Foli Corporation. For forty-four-hour work phases of private sessions and decadent parties, she never fails to deliver. She even enjoys herself, as designed, but she longs for more time to rest and read the human-created novels she adores. Soon after a new patron, Lord Alferen, shows genuine concern, her overloaded system malfunctions—she collapses.

Severely weakened, Leela must recuperate. Her inability to perform her function crushes her as much as the prospect of shutdown terrifies her. Yet when Alferen visits, sharing emotional intimacy and human-created music, she awakens to previously unimagined passions. She delights in teaching herself to play piano and compose her own music, reveling in Alferen’s tender encouragement and her newfound inspiration.

Leela's joy is cut short when she meets Foli Corporation’s leader, Fermand, and learns that he is Alferen’s estranged father. She is dismayed to discover that Alferen is studying her to create more advanced synthetic humans for a rival corporation, yet she still loves him. The revelation that Fermand intends to make copies of her to perform her old function disturbs her more profoundly. After her recent evolution, she is desperate to preserve her individuality and prevent her copies from being made, sparing them from the existence she knows all too well.

Anguished, Leela bargains with Fermand: she will sacrifice the creatively fulfilling future Alferen planned for her and resume her old function herself. She seals the deal with her body. Yet she remains unsure whether Fermand’s agreement is sincere, or a sadistic ploy to punish his defiant son and wayward Jouet. If the latter, she has sacrificed all she has grown to love and accelerated her final breakdown, only to be copied anyway.

I worked as a classical soprano for twelve years. Violetta (La Traviata) was my favorite role. These days, I sing with my guitar or ukulele instead of an orchestra.

Thank you for your consideration.

Here we go.

Dear Agent,

I am excited to offer you Jouet, my 79,000-word literary science fiction novel. It reinterprets the tragic opera La Traviata with twists of Ex Machina and Companion. Jouet will appeal to readers who enjoy explorations of human relationships through AI perspectives, blending the poignancy of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun with the tense sexual dynamics of Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. It is a standalone with series potential that reinterprets operatic storylines in the same world.

2175. As the first Jouet—a synthetic human plaything—Leela provides pleasure to the elite of Foli Corporation. For forty-four-hour work phases of private sessions and decadent parties, she never fails to deliver. She even enjoys herself, as designed, but she longs for more time to rest and read the human-created novels she adores. Soon after a new patron, Lord Alferen, shows genuine concern, her overloaded system malfunctions—she collapses.

Severely weakened, Leela must recuperate. Her inability to perform her function crushes her as much as the prospect of shutdown terrifies her. Yet when Alferen visits, sharing emotional intimacy and human-created music, she awakens to previously unimagined passions. She delights in teaching herself to play piano and compose her own music, reveling in Alferen’s tender encouragement and her newfound inspiration.

Leela's joy is cut short when she meets Foli Corporation’s leader, Fermand, and learns that he is Alferen’s estranged father. She is dismayed to discover that Alferen is studying her to create more advanced synthetic humans for a rival corporation, yet she still loves him. The revelation that Fermand intends to make copies of her to perform her old function disturbs her more profoundly. After her recent evolution, she is desperate to preserve her individuality and prevent her copies from being made, sparing them from the existence she knows all too well.

Anguished, Leela bargains with Fermand: she will sacrifice the creatively fulfilling future Alferen planned for her and resume her old function herself. She seals the deal with her body. Yet she remains unsure whether Fermand’s agreement is sincere, or a sadistic ploy to punish his defiant son and wayward Jouet. If the latter, she has sacrificed all she has grown to love and accelerated her final breakdown, only to be copied anyway.

I worked as a classical soprano for twelve years. Violetta (La Traviata) was my favorite role. These days, I sing with my guitar or ukulele instead of an orchestra.

Thank you for your consideration.

I'm back for more (and have finally figured out my genre 😂). I look forward to your feedback!

Dear Agent,

2175. As the first Jouet—a cybernetic-brained, fabricated human—Leela’s sole purpose is to provide pleasure to the elite of the Foli Corporation. In forty-four-hour work phases of private sessions and decadent parties, she delivers. She enjoys it, as she was designed to do, yet longs for more time to rest and read the human-created novels she adores. And soon after a new patron, Lord Alferen, surprises her with genuine concern, her overloaded system causes her to collapse.

Severely weakened, Leela is forced to recuperate. Her inability to perform her function crushes her as much as the prospect of shutdown terrifies her. Yet when Alferen visits, sharing emotional intimacy and human-created music, she awakens to previously unimagined passions. She delights in teaching herself to play piano and compose her own music, reveling in both Alferen’s tender encouragement and her joyous newfound inspiration.

After Leela meets Foli Corporation’s leader, Fermand, she learns that he is Alferen’s estranged father. She is devastated to discover that Alferen has been studying her for his own purpose: the creation of more advanced fabricated humans for his rival Corporation. However, Leela still wants to be with him—until she learns that Fermand intends to create copies of her to perform her old function. Then, Leela must make an agonizing choice: accept Alferen’s sweet, exploitative use of her, along with an existence of comfort, affection, and creative fulfillment; or protect her future copies by resuming her empty, exhausting former existence herself… if she can convince Fermand to agree, and if returning to work does not break her for good.

Jouet is a 79,000-word literary speculative fiction novel. It will appeal to readers who enjoy explorations of human relationships through sentient AI perspectives, blending the emotional poignancy of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun with the tense sexual dynamics of Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. Opera lovers may recognize that Jouet also reinterprets the tragic La Traviata, with Ex Machina and Companion twists. It is a standalone with series potential that reinterprets operatic storylines in the same world.

I worked as a classical soprano for twelve years. Violetta (La Traviata) was my favorite role. These days, I sing with my guitar or ukulele instead of an orchestra.

Thank you for your consideration.

Here is my attempted revision to a literary query. If nothing else, I can say that this feels more like my book that anything I have written query-wise thus far. So, winning! 🤣 But seriously, settling on the genre feels like unlocking a door. Lots more doors ahead though, I'm sure. 😁

Dear Agent,

2175. As the first Jouet—a cybernetic-brained, fabricated human—Leela’s sole purpose is to provide pleasure to the elite of the Foli Corporation. In forty-four-hour work phases of private sessions and decadent parties, she delivers. She enjoys it, as she was designed to do, yet longs for more time to rest and read the human-created novels she adores. And soon after a new patron, Lord Alferen, surprises her with genuine concern, her overloaded system causes her to collapse.

Severely weakened, Leela is forced to recuperate. Her inability to perform her function crushes her as much as the prospect of shutdown terrifies her. Yet when Alferen visits, sharing emotional intimacy and human-created music, she awakens to previously unimagined passions. She delights in teaching herself to play piano and compose her own music, reveling in both Alferen’s tender encouragement and her joyous newfound inspiration.

After Leela meets Foli Corporation’s leader, Fermand, she learns that he is Alferen’s estranged father. She is devastated to discover that Alferen has been studying her for his own purpose: the creation of more advanced fabricated humans for his rival Corporation. However, Leela still wants to be with him—until she learns that Fermand intends to create copies of her to perform her old function. Then, Leela must make an agonizing choice: accept Alferen’s sweet, exploitative use of her, along with an existence of comfort, affection, and creative fulfillment; or protect her future copies by resuming her empty, exhausting former existence herself… if she can convince Fermand to agree, and if returning to work does not break her for good.

Jouet is a 79,000-word literary speculative fiction novel. It will appeal to readers who enjoy explorations of human relationships through sentient AI perspectives, blending the emotional poignancy of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun with the tense sexual dynamics of Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. Opera lovers may recognize that Jouet also reinterprets the tragic La Traviata, with Ex Machina and Companion twists. It is a standalone with series potential that reinterprets operatic storylines in the same world.

I worked as a classical soprano for twelve years. Violetta (La Traviata) was my favorite role. These days, I sing with my guitar or ukulele instead of an orchestra.

Thank you for your consideration.

All right, here is my next attempt. I really enjoyed using the resources! This place is a treasure trove.

A few specific questions:

1.) I am at 350 words with my blurb, 460 words excluding salutation/signature. Too long? In my mind, a additional, personalized sentence to the agent is better left out at this length, right? And I tried to enhance my housekeeping paragraph, but I am wondering if the added word count is counterproductive. I also wonder if is better to just cut the very last sentence of my bio (I have no publishing credits). Or is it stronger the way it is?

2.) I am waffling between literary science fiction and dystopian speculative fiction as a genre. I could also just say speculative fiction. They all fit, and my 2 book comps also fit them all. But I obviously have to pick one, or some better label haven't thought of. I am currently leaning toward dystopian speculative fiction, because it seems slightly more romance plot / eroticism friendly, and maybe series friendlier too? My story is mostly slower paced, inward--facing and character-driven, though the third act is quick-paced, edge of seat in one or two places. The themes are more literary, and I did see in a guide that literary queries are a bit different--in what way?

I guess to sum up, does this kind of blurb and story feel right for the selected genre, and vice versa? I would appreciate any thoughts.

3.) My MC does not know or have an interest in knowing her location (which is not New New York, lol) beyond what is in the blurb. She knows the date, so I have put that in. Is that sentence specific enough for query purposes?

Dear Agent,

Leela is a Jouet, the first cybernetic-brained, fabricated human. She lives in 2175, in the complex of Foli Corp, which owns her. She was created for sexual pleasure; her work consists of forty-eight-hour shifts packed with private sessions and decadent parties for elites. Leela longs for more time to rest, and to read the non-algorithmic, human-written novels she adores. She is also fascinated by her newest patron, Lord Alferen—unlike others, he wishes her to talk, and seems concerned about her. At her next party, Leela collapses, her fatigued system crashing.

Upon waking, Leela is too weak to work; she fears shutdown. Yet she has a servant now, Ani, a newer model of fabricated human who comforts and bonds with her as she rests. However, after an unexpected visit from Alferen, Leela forces Ani to confirm her suspicions: Alferen is Ani’s true master. But Leela is staggered to hear that Alferen is Ani’s creator, too.

When Leela angrily confronts Alferen, he is apologetic, yet unrepentant. She lets his tenderness and their mutual desire quiet her misgivings. A day later, she is awed by the human-written music he shares with her; soon after, his gift of a piano overwhelms her with joy. She swiftly teaches herself to play, then compose, finding new purpose in creative expression. When Alferen asks if Leela would be happy if he acquired her permanently, she says yes.

Leela is then visited by Foli Corp’s leader, Fermand, who announces himself Alferen’s estranged father. She is distraught to learn Alferen has been studying her since they met, intending to create additional models of fabricated humans. However, she still wants to be with him—until she learns that copies of her will soon perform her old work. Then, desperate to preserve her individuality and spare more innocent versions of herself from her former existence, Leela makes an agonizing choice: she will resume her old work, giving up Alferen and creative aspirations, on the condition that Fermand not copy her. And now, drawing on both familiar skills and her new drive for self-determination, Leela must convince Fermand to agree.

Jouet is an 80,000-word dystopian speculative fiction novel. It will appeal to fans of literary explorations of AI, blending Kazuo Ishiguro’s gentle investigation of human connection in Klara and the Sun with the tense sexual dynamics of Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. Opera lovers may recognize that Jouet also reinterprets the passionate tragedy of La Traviata, with Ex Machina and Companion twists. It is a standalone with series potential that reinterprets operatic storylines in the same world.

I worked as a classical soprano for twelve years. Violetta (La Traviata) was my favorite role. These days, I sing with my guitar or ukulele instead of an orchestra.

Thank you for your consideration.

Hello! This query has gone through several attempts elsewhere, so this is just my first attempt here. I think it's getting close--at least compared to what came before. :-) I really appreciate any and all help in honing it further.

Dear Agent,

Leela is a Jouet, the first cybernetic-brained, fabricated human. Her Corp created her for one purpose: sex. And she enjoys it. Her elite patrons flock to her in private sessions and decadent parties, yet forty-eight-hour shifts are burning her out. She just wants more time to rest, and to read the old novels that fascinate her: books written not by algorithms, but humans.

One night, Lord Alferen engages Leela. He is apparently concerned about her, and he wants her to talk about books, too. She can’t stop thinking about him. Then, her fatigued system crashes—she collapses among patrons. She awakes greatly weakened. However, Alferen seems to care for her, planning to acquire her permanently… and when he shares human music with her, Leela is awestruck. She begins to explore her creativity, recognizing her potential to be much more than her Corp intended.

Eventually, Leela is visited by her Corp’s leader, Fermand. He reveals that Alferen is his estranged son, and that his son has been studying Leela the entire time—Alferen plans to create more advanced fabricated humans. Leela is hurt. But she still wants to be with Alferen… until Fermand says that copies of her will soon perform her old work. Leela not only wishes to protect her individuality; she does not want more innocent versions of herself to endure her empty former existence. So Leela bargains with Fermand, resuming her former work to prevent these copies from being created. But unbeknownst to her, Fermand has no intention of keeping his word; he is just punishing his son. Alferen, meanwhile, rushes to Leela’s latest party, outraged and desperate to reclaim her. Leela must fight for agency over her fate through every means available to her—and all the while, her system is headed for final breakdown.

Jouet is an 80,000 word dystopian speculative fiction novel. It will appeal to fans of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun and Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. Opera lovers may recognize that Jouet reinterprets La Traviata with twists of Ex Machina and Companion. It is a standalone with potential for a series reinterpreting operatic storylines in the same world.

I worked as a classical soprano for twelve years; Violetta was my favorite role. Jouet would be my first published work.

Thank you for your consideration.

Here we go again--as always, thanks in advance for any feedback. And thanks again to everyone who has pitched in so far, you've been incredibly helpful!

Dear Agent,

Leela is a Jouet, the first sentient cybernetic-brained, synthetic human. She enjoys doing what her Corp created her to do: providing sex to elite patrons in private sessions and decadent parties. But forty-eight-hour shifts have exhausted her—she just wants more time to rest, and to read the old, human-written novels that fascinate her.

One night, Leela is engaged by Lord Alferen. He is the first patron to express concern about her, and he wants her to talk about books, too. She can’t stop thinking about him. The following night, her exhausted system hits its limit, causing her to collapse among patrons. Greatly weakened, Leela fears shutdown. But Alferen, who evidently cares for her, offers salvation: he plans to acquire her permanently. He also introduces her to human-written, non-AI music, and Leela finds impassioned new purpose in her previously untapped musical abilities.

Leela eventually discovers Alferen’s hidden motives: he leads a rival Corp, and is using her for research to create even more advanced synthetic humans. Moreover, Alferen’s estranged father, the sadistic Fermand, is leader of her Corp. Though deeply hurt, Leela still loves Alferen, and chooses him over loyalty to her Corp—until Fermand reveals that copies of Leela will do her former work if Alferen gains her. Then, Leela makes the agonizing choice to sacrifice her creatively fulfilling future to prevent the creation and suffering of these more innocent versions of her. However, faced with both Fermand’s cruelty and Alferen’s final attempts to control her, she must fight for agency over this decision with every means available to her. And, all the while, her damaged system is headed for a final breakdown.

Jouet is an 81,000 word dystopian speculative fiction novel. It will appeal to fans of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun and Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. Opera lovers may recognize that Jouet reinterprets La Traviata with twists of Ex Machina and Companion. It is a standalone with potential for a series reinterpreting operatic storylines in the same world.

I worked as a classical soprano for twelve years; Violetta was my favorite role. Jouet would be my first published work.

Thank you for your consideration.

 

Dear Agent,

Leela is a Jouet, the first sentient, cybernetic-brained human fabricate, product and property of Foli Corp. She has an implicit drive to earn her Corp profit through giving and experiencing sexual pleasure. Despite grueling forty-eight hour work phases, she skimps on sleep to read, fascinated and moved by old novels. Her fatigued system has begun to lapse, yet she conceals this, desperate to fulfill what she believes is her purpose.

One night, Leela meets Lord Alferen. He shows her sympathy; their interaction is both pleasurable and bewildering. Afterward, she makes increasingly jarring observations about her world and her role in it. She collapses at work when her system crashes the following night.

During her long convalescence, Leela meets Ani, a servant and the newly created second sentient fabricate. They discover they can communicate telepathically, forming a deep bond. However, Leela soon breaks through Ani’s mental shield to learn that Ani was made by Alferen, who leads a rival Corp. She struggles to reconcile this with her growing feelings for him. Due to her slow, incomplete recovery, Leela also fears shutdown, yet is simultaneously drawn to unexpected, prodigious musical inspiration. Alferen supports her pursuits and intends to acquire her permanently, offering apparent salvation. Leela does not know that he has been using her for research to create additional fabricates.

Ultimately, Leela must face her Corp’s sadistic leader to exercise agency over both her fate and those of her future copies. She must come to terms with her and Alferen’s complex relationship, and strive to realize her self-determined creativity. However, to protect her copies as well as her individuality, she may have to sacrifice both.

Jouet is an 82,000 word literary science fiction novel. It will appeal to fans of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun and Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. Opera lovers may recognize Jouet as a reinterpretation of La Traviata with a twist of Companion. It is a standalone with potential for a series reinterpreting operatic storylines in the same world.

I worked as a classical soprano for twelve years; Violetta was my favorite role. Jouet would be my first published work.

Thank you for your consideration.

First 300 Words

To you, whom this story is for: let this lost one wake you. It starts the moment I saw her; it pauses when she slept. It ends when she closed her eyes for the last time.

Perhaps one day, you will know if all I did was necessary—I never will. I make no excuse. My time is coming to an end, in more ways than one. Yours begins now.

Jouet, your new favorite plaything, with real feelings… everything you do pleases her, and she exists to please you…

Another soirée; another silver dress Douron had chosen. He had been allowed to choose as a bonus for his heavy patronage, though his private interaction with Leela would not come until the end of the night. Still, she probably would have selected something similar, knowing his tastes and with him hosting.

Leela had arrived in the usual semi-open display mode, but Douron had already activated his proprietary option for exclusivity. He seemed unlikely to relinquish it anytime soon. Yet even as he flaunted her, the eyes of the others consumed her; Douron simultaneously relished and despised this. Leela understood him quite well.

Her hair was a deep violet tonight, her eyes amethyst with a hint of blue. She had chosen these, though mostly because they looked well with the silver dress and the dramatically enhanced features Douron favored on her. They were also among the colors he preferred—the same colors that moved in abstract patterns on the walls of the vast hall, petrol, dark blue and all the cooler shades of purple, accompanied by the subtle beat of an algorithmic track with only the occasional hint of melody. When he hosted, Douron showed restraint in visual and audio entertainment. He preferred to make the primary display his consumables.

Thanks in advance for any feedback!

Dear Agent,

(1-2 sentences about why I am querying this particular agent)

Leela is a Jouet, the newest, most advanced modified human fabricate. She is a product of Foli, mandated to provide pleasure and earn profit. Unlike older, algorithmic models, Leela is self-aware and experiences emotions. She relies on the pleasure her algorithm-derived system creates within her to endure the relentless demands of elite patrons at private sessions and decadent gatherings. During her short rest phases, she reads compulsively, fascinated and moved by the human-written novels of centuries past; in her work-ups, she conceals her growing fatigue and lapses in function.

One night, Leela is engaged by a new patron, the Lord Alferen. While oddly reluctant to touch her at first, he shows her concern and sympathy; their interaction is both highly pleasurable and bewildering to her, and she starts to notice strange new thoughts and feelings afterward. Less than a day later, she suffers a terrifying breakdown.

Upon waking, Leela meets the second algorithm-derived fabricate to exist, a server model whom she names Ani. The two bond closely while exploring their capabilities together, though Leela suspects Ani of hiding ominous secrets. As her recovery haltingly progresses, Leela deeply fears that she will never regain enough function to return to work, and that Foli will have her disabled. To distract herself and fill her suddenly ample free time, she begins to follow new creative impulses, tapping into a potential she has until now barely glimpsed. She also longs to see Alferen again, though she does not yet know his true intentions toward her; however, she will be forced to face them soon enough.

Jouet is an 82,000 word literary science fiction novel. It will greatly appeal to fans of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun and Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. Lovers of opera may also recognize Jouet as a reinterpretation of La Traviata with a twist of Ex Machina. It is a standalone with potential for companion novels reinterpreting other operatic storylines in the same world.

I worked as a professional opera singer for twelve years, and Violetta of La Traviata was my favorite role. Jouet would be my first published work.

Thank you for your consideration.

I really need some more beta readers for my novel. I am highly interested in readers' experience: what they like most, what they find surprising, boring or confusing, and what genre they think it fits in best, with possible suggestions of tweaks to help it find its "home." That is not to say that other suggestions are unwelcome; basically, if you think something really needs to change, I want to know.

Every single bit of feedback a beta reader has given me has been helpful, even if I don't agree with it, so I am going to love you just for reading this and writing me a few sentences in response. Please DM me if interested. A month turnaround would be great. I will be open to book swaps in another 2 to 3 weeks, once I have finished my current ones. I use no AI, I beta read for free, and I expect the same. :-)

Blurb:

Leela is a Jouet, the newest and most advanced modified human fabricate. She is a product of Foli, created to provide pleasure and to earn her Corp profit. Leela is very different from any of the previous models: she is the first to run on an algorithm-derived system. Therefore, she is self aware, and experiences true feelings; this is her greatest appeal to her patrons. She is also enormously popular, overworked, and exhausted.

One night, Leela meets a patron who changes the course of her existence. The way he speaks with her, treats her and makes her feel are different than that of any other, and begin an astonishing awakening within her. However, he, like she, is not all that he seems.

Jouet is an exploration of how systems of oppression and artificiality shape roles, exploit capabilities and erode culture; it also explores the potential of self-knowledge, intimacy, and above all, creativity to unlock new forms of self-determination.

Content Warnings: Explicit sexual content, dubious consent, exploitation and abuse

First Page:

To you, whom this story is for: let this lost one wake you to hard-won wisdom. Perhaps one day, you will know if all I did was necessary; I never will.

I make no excuse. My time is coming to an end, in more ways than one. Yours begins now.  

Jouet, your new favorite plaything, with real feelings… everything you do pleases her, and she exists to please you…

Another gathering; another silver dress Douron had chosen. This was a bonus for his heavy patronage, as his private interaction with Leela would not come until the end of the night. Still, she probably would have selected something similar, knowing his tastes and with him hosting this gathering.

Leela had arrived in the usual semi-open display mode, but Douron had already activated his proprietary option for exclusivity, and he seemed unlikely to relinquish it anytime soon. Yet even as he flaunted her, the eyes of the others consumed her; Douron simultaneously relished and despised this. Leela understood him quite well.

Her hair was a deep violet tonight, her eyes amethyst with a hint of blue. She had chosen these, though mostly because they looked well with the silver dress, as well as the dramatically enhanced features Douron favored on her. They also happened to be among the colors he preferred; the same colors that moved in abstract patterns on the walls of the vast hall, petrol, dark blue and all the cooler shades of purple, accompanied by the subtle beat of an algorithmic soundtrack with only the occasional hint of melody. When he hosted, Douron showed restraint in visual and audio entertainment, preferring to make the primary display his consumables, including her.

She did as he wanted, moving fluidly beside him in thin silver heels, preening and fawning, occasionally giving forth a burst of vivacious laughter that always perfectly complemented the conversations that Douron moved in and out of, though she was never a part of them. She radiated lively voluptuousness, keeping her fatigue hidden deep within her. It was particularly strong this evening; it was going to be another long, exhausting night.