u/YourGenuineFriend

For those out there that had to deal with terrible mother and therefor Terrible Mother Archetype. Who have been strongly wounded since youth did you find a solution for this?

I grew up in terrible circumstances or conditions especially during my developmental years talking about 1-6 years. This has wounded me in such strong ways that till the day of today in my 30s I still reenact that constelated enviroment.

My mother found a second man after she divorced my father. There was a lot of violence. I do not know my father. After that my mother brought me into a house of this second man a pathetic human being. My mother she is wounded deeply through maternal wound running on the mother side lineage.

So inside my head I have this strong internalized oppressive voice that litterly fucking destroys me from the inside. The way my psyche deals with it it summons this Negative Senex that just silences her completely. However this is where the problem lies it seems like when I do this its almost like I silence my anima. My life becomes hot and dry polarizing strongly into Logos. This is also enhanced by the fact that the mother wound has been passed onto me.

Yesterday I had a massive realization that inside my psyche there is litterly a voice that talks down to me

and unless I silence it I am unable to function and quite franky am constantly opressed by it. Through life I discovered that expression of this is seen in BDSM. The suppression mechanism of the psyche is almost like bondage or projection of latex onto a person reflecting this feeling of shutting a complex up or confining it inside or behind a veil void.

So the situation is this. I feel like a part of me is suppressing an internalized oppressive voice causing this dynamic as if Negative Sanex is suppressing my Anima. I cant fucking wrap my head around this as to how to dissolve or help this situation.. this shit has controlled my life for far to long. I am curious if anyone can relate to this or something similar. Would appreciate your answers.

Thank you for reading.

Over past good year now I have been doing intense work on myself.

I am starting to realize that many of my relationships were narsissitic including some of my family members..

Is it me or is this really the truth? One thing I mainly noticed over all of those relationships is sort of friendship framing where all those people sort of framed themselfs as friends by love bombing or somewhat appearing as charming or likeable in order to what I believe now understand is to bypass my initial boundary filters as to invade.

There is this sort of uncanny vibe of entitlement they have that they deserve to have access to your inner world.

Also the idea of setting a boundary or evicting them is not even an option because the moment you do that you sort of get this vibe of how dare you do this to me or they are meat with offense.

Its even hard to realize but it all started with my mother.. or even grandmother maybe earlier..

I am really speachless to be very honest...

Can anyone relate in any way or share something of sorts?

Since I started this whole Jungian journey I have developed a strong sense of Self and a strong Ego.

Its actually quite incredible to see my own progress and how much I changed and how much stronger my psyche has become.

For example shadow or archetypical possessions that previously would last weeks now last only days. Constelated complexes that would constelate for quite some time I better understand why they constelate and what is the cause for their constelation.

I have uncovered Ill call it Golden Shadow material like my confidence and sense of authority and power to say no. I am still struggling ofcourse but I feel much stronger and better equiped than I was before and I am actually very proud about it.

There a moments of profound inner content or enjoyment in the smallest acts which I find pleasant.

I lost many people in my life through this journey but gain myself and my self-respect back. Sometimes its hard to think of this as progress because of the social pain but I am still feel like a chick who just got out of his egg in that matter and hope someday to be surrounded by kinder, more understanding and respectful people.

I just wanted to express my gratitude for people that helped me along the way and I suppose just share some positivity that no matter where you are right now if you just put in the work you'll defenitely get some in return.

Over the past few days I have been drained.. drained soulfully from all of this and I suppose I just wanted to express that and suppose be acknowledged in this whole journey and my change.

Whoever reads this and can resonate with what I said dont forget to sometimes throw it all away for a moment or a day and allow yourself to rest. I am guilty of not doing it more than I should.

Whoever you are thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you have a wonderful day ahead!

Simple question.

What have been your most twisted shadow content you have recovered that have been instilled by the outside world?

I'll start. Little did I fucking know that I find myself discovering a part of me that at first I thought was to be a shame and now after many years and in depth shadow work turns our to be almost some sort of "cult-like" destructive mind control complex instilled through a controlling authoritarian family system. My whole fucking life was controlled by this fucking shit.

And the most horrible of this all is that it is intertwined with familiar spiritual history clothed in Orthodox Christianity causing for this to go unnoticed for basically my whole life.

I constantly have the somatic nudge to puke because of this. Its almost like for the first time in my life I am able to see and speak my truth. Never have I ever thought to uncover something like this.. I litterly feel so disgusted right now I have no words.

Was Adam Homosexual? And did Sam saying at the end to him "all I needed to do is to manipulate you because this is who you are". Did he mean that in a degenerate way? Or simply was exposing Adam's homosexual side to him? What do you think about Sam not killing Rosie? Did he repent?

Overal I really liked this series. Reminded me a bit of Handmaidens Tail and The Chosen obviously because of the Christianity but obviously The Chosen leaning flavor except the more bad stuff. I really like the ending it felt like many things got closure in some form of resolution.