I have been into therapy since last six months, my therapist starts every session by asking me how i am doing i also want to ask her how is she doing but cant muster up the courage to do so , i am confused if it would be considered boundary violation or not. Now my mind is going like what if she is also on this subreddit , that would be so awkward.
Hey ,first year student here. I'm pretty socially anxious and honestly not great at approaching new people or starting conversations, even when I really want to. I see so many people around campus and just... can't bring myself to talk to them.
I'd love to meet people from other departments. I'm into books (but not have really read many books so far), but I love Dostoevsky, Plath, and a few others. I'm also genuinely interested in psychology, so if that's your thing, I'd love to talk about it.Bring whatever you wanna to talk about lets see what we can do with it together.
This is kind of my last attempt at putting myself out there, because I know if I don't, I'll just end up spending my whole college life alone in my flat with the lights off. So if any of this resonates, feel free to DM me. Would genuinely love to grab a coffee or just talk. We can talk about anything like i would try tbh but bring it on we will figure it out for sure.
I have been into therapy since last six months, my therapist starts every session by asking me how i am doing i also want to ask her how is she doing but cant muster up the courage to do so , i am confused if it would be considered boundary violation or not. Now my mind is going like what if she is also on this subreddit , that would be so awkward.
Do they provide with hostel facility to mtech student ( evening batch) or not ??
I'm 20, male, in therapy (haven't told my therapist about this yet — more on why below), and I've been dealing with a pattern that's making my life genuinely miserable. I want to understand what's actually happening psychologically before I bring it to my therapist.
The core pattern:
I get pulled into consuming content that causes me real distress feminist content, content about narcissism, content that's bigoted toward my religion and I cannot stop, even when it's actively hurting me. The topic shifts, but the structure of the spiral stays identical every time. That consistency makes me think the specific topic isn't really the issue.
How it works with feminist content specifically:
I want to be clear: I'm not hurt by feminism. I understand the real damages of patriarchy and I believe in it. But when I watch certain feminist content particularly content that says things like "all men are the same" or frames all men as inherently dangerous something specific happens internally that I can't seem to interrupt.
I can't defend myself in my own mind. If I even internally think "but that's not true of me" or "that's an overgeneralization," my mind immediately reframes that as proof that I am a misogynist because apparently only a misogynist would push back. So I'm left unable to disagree, even privately, with statements I intellectually know are generalizations.
If I feel hurt by the content, I watch more of it, because feeling hurt feels like evidence that I'm guilty and if I'm guilty, I deserve the pain. So the hurt becomes self-punishment rather than a signal to stop.
I restructure my internal life around the creators I watch. I've started living as if they're watching me, judging my smallest choices, even when I'm completely alone. I've liked posts that hurt me just to satisfy an imagined internal version of the creator.
How it works with narcissism content:
I've become convinced I'm a narcissist. I watch content about narcissism compulsively and find every trait in myself. The result is that I'm completely unable to be a victim in any situation. If someone genuinely harms me, I immediately find a way to make myself the culprit — because if I'm a narcissist, my pain is manipulation, not real pain. So I can't defend myself or acknowledge being hurt in any real-life situation.
How it works with content about my religion: I'll find myself watching genuinely bigoted, racist content about my religion. I don't refute it internally. I get hurt by it, but I don't stop watching. I shatter myself watching it but can't step away.
Why I haven't told my therapist:
This is the part that feels most stuck. I'm afraid that if I tell her about these spirals, the act of describing them will itself become evidence that I'm a sophisticated, manipulative misogynist that I've engineered this whole thing to look like a mental health issue when really I'm just a bad person who knows how to present himself as a victim. Even writing this post right now, I feel like I'm being manipulative by trying to get sympathy. The shame is total.
What this has done to my life:
I've spent whole days watching distressing content, unable to stop. I feel I deserve to be publicly humiliated and thrashed. I feel something is inherently wrong with me for being a boy. I am in continuous internal judgment of my own thoughts, feelings, and motivations. I feel deeply alone and deeply ashamed. It has made my life hell. I was so having so many sucidal thoughts due to this the feeling that i am such a bad person is killing me everyday and i cant even ask for reassurance or help ,i am not able to soothe myself.
I'm 20, male, in therapy (haven't told my therapist about this yet — more on why below), and I've been dealing with a pattern that's making my life genuinely miserable. I want to understand what's actually happening psychologically before I bring it to my therapist.
The core pattern:
I get pulled into consuming content that causes me real distress feminist content, content about narcissism, content that's bigoted toward my religion and I cannot stop, even when it's actively hurting me. The topic shifts, but the structure of the spiral stays identical every time. That consistency makes me think the specific topic isn't really the issue.
How it works with feminist content specifically:
I want to be clear: I'm not hurt by feminism. I understand the real damages of patriarchy and I believe in it. But when I watch certain feminist content particularly content that says things like "all men are the same" or frames all men as inherently dangerous something specific happens internally that I can't seem to interrupt.
I can't defend myself in my own mind. If I even internally think "but that's not true of me" or "that's an overgeneralization," my mind immediately reframes that as proof that I am a misogynist because apparently only a misogynist would push back. So I'm left unable to disagree, even privately, with statements I intellectually know are generalizations.
If I feel hurt by the content, I watch more of it, because feeling hurt feels like evidence that I'm guilty and if I'm guilty, I deserve the pain. So the hurt becomes self-punishment rather than a signal to stop.
I restructure my internal life around the creators I watch. I've started living as if they're watching me, judging my smallest choices, even when I'm completely alone. I've liked posts that hurt me just to satisfy an imagined internal version of the creator.
How it works with narcissism content:
I've become convinced I'm a narcissist. I watch content about narcissism compulsively and find every trait in myself. The result is that I'm completely unable to be a victim in any situation. If someone genuinely harms me, I immediately find a way to make myself the culprit — because if I'm a narcissist, my pain is manipulation, not real pain. So I can't defend myself or acknowledge being hurt in any real-life situation.
How it works with content about my religion: I'll find myself watching genuinely bigoted, racist content about my religion. I don't refute it internally. I get hurt by it, but I don't stop watching. I shatter myself watching it but can't step away.
Why I haven't told my therapist:
This is the part that feels most stuck. I'm afraid that if I tell her about these spirals, the act of describing them will itself become evidence that I'm a sophisticated, manipulative misogynist that I've engineered this whole thing to look like a mental health issue when really I'm just a bad person who knows how to present himself as a victim. Even writing this post right now, I feel like I'm being manipulative by trying to get sympathy. The shame is total.
What this has done to my life:
I've spent whole days watching distressing content, unable to stop. I feel I deserve to be publicly humiliated and thrashed. I feel something is inherently wrong with me for being a boy. I am in continuous internal judgment of my own thoughts, feelings, and motivations. I feel deeply alone and deeply ashamed. It has made my life hell. I was so having so many sucidal thoughts due to this the feeling that i am such a bad person is killing me everyday and i cant even ask for reassurance or help ,i am not able to soothe myself.
Does ipu allows new registration after each round also after reach spot round, as i am waiting for some other college and looking forward to register after 2nd round. Also lets say i register now and participate in round 1 but dont accpet the seat and pay fees even after getting a seat then would they allow me in round 2 or not ?
Guys I didnt registered for ipu ,and i have heard that first round have started so can i register directly for round 2,if yes then when plz help