u/ZealousidealLink6160

Okay so my friend Sarah and I have been close for like 5 years. She's great but she's also... a lot sometimes. Super spontaneous, always running late, lives in chaos. I love her but I'm the complete opposite — I need my routine, my quiet time, my space.

Anyway, last night around 10 PM I'm already in my pajamas, about to start a movie, when I get a text from her. It just says "hey I'm outside your building can I come up?" No heads up, no "can I stay over," nothing.

I let her in because what else was I gonna do? She comes in looking all frazzled and tells me she got into a huge fight with her roommate and just needed to get out. She asks if she can crash on my couch for a few days.

I felt bad for her, I really did. But I had a crazy week at work, I was exhausted, and I just wanted to be alone. Plus my couch is small and uncomfortable and I knew she'd end up wanting to sleep in my bed and I'd be on the couch anyway because that's just how she is.

So I said "I'm really sorry but I can't tonight. I need to be up early and I'm just not in a good headspace." I offered to help her find a cheap hotel nearby. She looked so hurt. Like genuinely crushed.

She said "okay fine" in that cold tone and left. Haven't heard from her since. It's been two days.

I feel terrible. But also — she showed up without asking. At 10 PM. On a weeknight. And expected to stay for days? I don't think I'm crazy for saying no.

My other friend says I'm NTA because boundaries matter. But another says real friends don't turn each other away in an emergency.

I don't know. I keep going back and forth. AITA?