u/ZeanReddit

I've been trying to make connections. I have friends. They can confide in me, and sometimes I confide in them. Some of us share hobbies and interests. Some I've met randomly. But, none of them give me the emotional connection I so desperately need. And physical contact is impossible do too long distance.

Romantic relationships feel like a pipedream.

And I have never "just act normal" or "fit in".

Right now I'm in my room, alone again; on the brink of tears but too emotionally represented and tired to cry.

I need a break. I need someone to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay. A sympathetic shoulder to cry on, that I don't have to worry about pulling away; leaving me alone again.

I always want to be there for them. But none of my relationships (Friends, family, etc) ever give me a fraction of what I put in. I'm tired of fighting the battle of diminishing returns. Of giving everything because I know what it's like to have no one there; and yet feeling like nothing has changed.

I'm still the same tired, lonely, pressed, loser I've been for years. Some may call me a failure, but I'm not. Giving it your all and getting nothing in return. That's not being a failure, that's being failed. My whole life people have failed me; and I'm starting to fail to see the reason to fight for myself.

I'm strictly in the ideas phase. And I don't want to post anything directly to social media yet. If I could potentially work with Glitch and Vickers, I would jump at the opportunity; even though it's unlikely. I can dream.

And what harm would it do to be discreet, make a pitch and see if it's accepted. If not, I could probably still publish it as a fan work on Ao3.

I have no intentions of making it a show; even if accepted. It's too big of a scope, and would frankly ruin Glitch's production schedule.

However... between their merch store and work with Spencer's; there's an argument to be said that if they can print the books; they could be a publisher. That is my idea. If they are interested, I'm interested.

If not. Expect a massive trilogy, setting up an expanded universe.

Edit: to be clear to the mod staff. This is not self-promotion. I am not posting anything to any social media accounts until I have something ready. This is merely a discussion. Patience with me would be much appreciated. Thank you.