u/Zu_Baida

I find my self becoming increasingly disappointed and detached from the women in my life. I am having a through the looking glass experience.

I am at an age where “people should be married” so a lot of my friends are married, getting married, or looking for their man. It wasn’t this way a mere 3 years ago, but it’s like they all collectively snapped up and started looking for marriage. I am slowly realizing I am the most radical one in my group.

A lot of the women that I have grown up with are suddenly looking for other lives that I know with a matter of time will have little to no space for me. Even the way they talk about pursuits (learning to dance, learning about plants etc) is in reference to “keeping themselves busy” until the man and family appear and they do more “important” things. They tell on themselves soo much when they talk. I am bewildered by it.

I remember telling my mother about my dream of being single and living with my friends and she laughed and told me my friends WILL get married I should stop dreaming and all this talk was childish. How right she was.

It’s very difficult for me because friendships are the anchors in my life. So with this initial friendship group I am trying to learn detachment and deprioritize them so I can make space for more radical women.

What are the small things or ways you guys practice single living in your everyday lives? Or subvert the social conditioning of partnered/ married life?

For example, In media etc, there is the image of the “poor sad single woman” on one side of the bed lonely and longing for someone on the other side.

After noticing that I subconsciously just slept on one side of my bed for years, I stopped a couple years ago and I now sleep right in the middle and it’s awesome to have free stretched out limbs and take up space. It clicked for me that it makes no sense to leave space for someone/thing that doesn’t exist.

But I am looking to do more! and check blind spots I may be missing.

So please tell me of your little things!