u/_BurntSun

My doc asked me yesterday how they could reach me next time I’m manic to make me understand I need to take my meds, go to the hospital, reduce sensory input and so on. I honestly didn’t know how to answer bc when I’m in deep mania there is little an outsider could say to make me wanting to end the mania. So I asked myself: How can I reach myself or what could others ask/tell me when I’m acute manic (especially w paranoia) to take steps to end the mania?

What are your experiences with this? What helped you before?

(Disclaimer: I’m not in mania right now and have been stable for some time.)

Coming down from a severe mania. Was in the hospital for 10 days, now 2 weeks out. Was okay for some days, now I feel so anxious, my mind is spiraling, I don’t manage to ground myself. Miss the rountine I‘ve had in the hospital. Dissociative states almost permanently. I feel the weight of a creeping depressive episode becoming heavier and heavier. I do except a rather severe episode as I know from experience and how I‘m feeling now. Didn’t have one for some months and somehow I always forget what helps me through one. Feel like it’s my fault I let the mania get so bad (eventhough I know I tried everything I could to avert it) and now I pay the price.

What helps you w depression after mania? Know any ways to halt it into getting really bad or at least easing it?

How is it for you to be treating people with severe and complicated disorders such as severe bipolar or schizophrenia?

Is it annoying when you have to talk them through the same crisis again?

Maybe what would you wish that the patient understands?

Would you want your patient to tell you when they feel shame about that you have to deal with the same issue with them again?

(I’m asking for myself mainly, as I have Bipolar 1 w psychotic features and feel like I annoy my therapist eventhough they say no.)

Well fuck, its that time again. For some freaking reason my brain decided once again that I should in fact not take my (sleep) meds and stay awake all night. It’s 3 am now, I’m coming down from a severe mania a week ago. Even was in the hospital. Had to leave too early bc of university. I know that if I don’t take them now, I will become manic again.

Rationally I knowww I should take them and I want to take them somehow but I just can’t. It’s so fucked up but somehow I want the manic, the mess, the feels bc life is rly stressful right now and I guess, it’s easier to do when I’m so psychotic that time doesn’t exist anymore.

Why is this happening again? What helps you to take the meds even if you miss mania?

(Disclaimer: I really mean mania, not hypomania, so also the scary paranoia shit, reality distortions- scared for my life shit, for some reason, its fucked up)

Well fuck, its that time again. For some freaking reason my brain decided once again that I should in fact not take my (sleep) meds and stay awake all night. It’s 3 am now, I’m coming down from a severe mania a week ago. Even was in the hospital. Had to leave too early bc of university.

Rationally I knowww I should take them and I want to take them somehow but I just can’t. It’s so fucked up but somehow I want the manic, the mess, the feels bc life is rly stressful right now and I guess, it’s easier to do when I’m so psychotic that time doesn’t exist anymore.

Why is this happening again? What helps you to take the meds even if you miss mania?

(Disclaimer: I really mean mania, not hypomania, so also the scary paranoia shit, reality distortions- scared for my life shit, for some reason, its fucked up)

(Disclaimer: Posting this under this tag bc it’s a very bad coping strategy I want to cut out asap)

I’m slowly trying to come down from a psychotically manic break and for some reason I’ve started to smoke heavily during this episode. Now I’m still I’d say hypomanic. Been to the hospital and it helped but now that I’m back home and exposed to a lot of sensory stimulation I just can’t slow down and kept up the smoking. I’ve been vaping non-stop for a long time now, never smoked before, no idea why I started, so how the hell can I cut this as soon as possible? I’m so nervous all the time. Anyone has any tips?

At it again, have submitted myself voluntarily to the hospital on saturday, now day 3 here. Went bc I got manic and stopped taking my meds thinking they are poisoning me. Now I’ve been able to take them again but the doc told me that usually you can’t be psychotic during mania but only schizoaffective?!! Felt so dismissive.

Anyway different topic: I now feel guilty and ashamed that I got manic again, eventhough I went so so long without having to go to the hospital. It is my fault? What can I do to not feel ashamed? It’s an illness afterall:(

Today at university I fell into a sort of catatonic state for the first time ever in public. Usually only happens at home during severe episodes.

I was sitting in class, suddenly unable to move, it felt as if all my limbs got turned off, they fell to the table. No one noticed, it was only for a few minutes. I was aware whats happening but not able to do anything. It was very scary and I’m afraid what if it happens again when I’m driving or something… I’m afraid it might be an early sign for psychosis or just heavy dissociation.

Anyone experienced this?

I’m scared and I don’t understand, I was doing so good for a while now.