u/_fractal8

In my post about the reasons for being in this sub, I saw quite a few comments from people who want to connect with like-minded individuals, to feel less lonely or alienated, to feel right at home. People said we are a rare type and that they had never met anyone similar in real life.

Yet I think that for whatever reason, many of us stop at the comment. We don't do the obvious thing: DM someone and keep talking.

Maybe you saw a comment that resonated with you, or someone mentioned something interesting you want to ask about, but you hesitated, or decided to mind your own business and not disturb anyone. Maybe you have a question but are too shy or scared to make a public post. Or you tried contacting somebody once, got no reply, and gave up.

It doesn't have to be that way. Go and DM someone today. Start the conversation. If you believe in signs, let this be one. If you are shy or anxious, blame this post or me in your DM request. If you want someone to DM you, leave a comment. If someone contacts you, give them a chance.

Disclaimer
I anticipate someone might question my intentions. No, I am not farming karma or trying to show off. This post isn't about me. No, this is not a social experiment. No, I am not running a cult or a Discord channel. No, I am not luring women to DM me. I am married and not looking for a romantic relationship. Everyone is welcome though.

I believe that if even a single person becomes less lonely because of this post, it was worth it.

There are plenty of competent people here who like helping others. Some of us are experts in their field, some have long life experience, and we all like thinking about something, right?

What if we offer help to each other? Mentoring, feedback on your work, a second opinion on a decision, or just someone who's been through what you're going through.

If you are in, put a comment here, saying what you are good at so people can DM you.

I'll start. I am software engineer. I am good at everything IT and computer related: fixing, configuring, home lab, smart home etc.

I was also involved in recruitment multiple times, so I read hundreds of resumes and cover letters. I know how to make them stand out, so someone will actually read them.

And in my late 30s I have some life experience.

I think everyone has at least one moment in life that was pure luck - meeting someone, getting an opportunity or avoiding a disaster.

I also think luck isn't always fully random. You can increase your chances by being curious, active and prepared. Luck seems to visit people who are already moving.

Which parts of your life were shaped by pure luck? Do you think you can influence how often luck shows up?

Something like:

• Most of the time at work I write text in different languages.
• I listen to people talk, then tell them what they really meant.
• I regularly explain to people that the thing they asked for is impossible, then somehow make it possible.

It looks like a simple question, right?

I have a few broken laptops that I can't fix by swapping components or reassembling. All of them have different problems but I think they all come down to some simple and cheap soldered component replacement. BIOS chip maybe or a power distribution related one, etc.

Regular services would probably turn be back saying the motherboard needs replacing. It's not worth it, as my goal is to give those laptops another life and save them from landfill.

Is there any service or an individual that does actual repair rather than replace?

Ideally north of the river but I can go south if necessary.

What do you do when it comes and stays?

Are you happy with how things are in your life?

Something like:

I think all the time and don’t know how to stop it.

Or: 90% of meetings could be an email.

Or: I can't find things in the fridge even when they're in plain sight.

Or: I notice people talk just to fill the void, because silence makes them uncomfortable.

We all want to achieve something great. Maybe lose a few kilos or gain some muscle. Become more confident or learn something new. Climb the career ladder or try starting a business. These are the thoughts that visit us at 2 in the morning. We imagine how much better life will be once we get there. And then… nothing.

Right before taking the first step, we say: "This is hard. I need to prepare. I need motivation. It's not the right time. I'm tired. I'll start next week, or after New Year. I'll do it later." And somehow, it's never the right time. Later never comes.

There is a way to break this loop, and it's surprisingly simple. We're all good at saying "later". So let's use it. What if we say: "Yes, it's hard. Yes, I need motivation. It's not the right time. But all of that will be later. And right now I'll do the simplest possible thing to move in the right direction." Spend 5 minutes walking on a treadmill. Do 10 squats. Read 2 pages of a study book. All the struggle will be later, not today.

Next time, do a little more. Walk for 10 minutes. Read 5 pages. Add a bit of weight or a few extra repetitions. You don't need the perfect moment or extra motivation. It doesn't trigger your mental resistance.

Once starting becomes easy, raise the bar - just a little. Not enough to scare yourself, but enough to keep moving forward. At some point, you'll notice you've been walking for half an hour, squats feel easy, and you've finished a whole chapter.

You may say, "This will take forever to make a difference." Maybe. But how much time have you already spent saying, "I'll do it later"?

Comfort is a strange thing. We all want to live in comfort. The entire human progress is driven by desire to make things less painful and more comfortable. Yet the moment we get even a small amount of comfort, we often become trapped. We suddenly have something to lose, and we refuse to take any risk.

We start thinking that keeping a mediocre or even miserable job is better than having no job at all. We convince ourselves that remaining in a place that no longer feels like home is better than stepping into the unknown. And slowly, almost quietly, we adapt to it. We say: "It could be worse". And what should have been temporary becomes the new normal.

Yes, sometimes we have to do things we don't enjoy. But these things should be treated as short-term investments toward a long-term goal. Not the other way around.

There is a whole world full of opportunities around us. There is always another door open somewhere down the corridor. If you aren't happy now, you either haven't found it yet, or you never really looked.

I want to end this post with my take on an old rock song:

Yesterday I went to bed too late, I got up before the dawn began to fall.
Yesterday I went to bed too late, I hardly slept at all.
The doctor is probably the one I should have gone to see.
But now the suburban train is carrying me where I don't want to be.

In the train car it's cold, and somehow it's warm as well.
It's smoky there, and yet the air feels fresh enough to tell.
Why am I silent? Why don't I scream? Why don't I try to break free?
The suburban train is carrying me where I don't want to be.

If you stay on the wrong train long enough, don't be surprised when it takes you exactly where it was going.

https://preview.redd.it/zykww1f2mcdh1.png?width=1536&format=png&auto=webp&s=b248b9da08cd6f31223f572c4d4619db7125caa3