u/_lynn_564

Hi all! I just went to see the PA for a hip specialist today and apparently I have an LCEA of 3 degrees in my right hip and 6 degrees in my left hip. I also have a labral tear. This is the first time in my life I’ve been told I have hip dysplasia.

Some background: the only reason I found this information out was because I slipped and fell at work January 2026. Went to numerous doctors, and 2 1/2 rounds of PT, until finally a spinal specialist made me get a MRI with contrast for my hip. It was found that I have a “partial-thickness superior labral undersurface tear” in my left hip. Finally got in with a hip specialist today, took some X-rays and was told I have 3 degrees on one side and 6 degrees on the other. I was given a steroid injection to see if it will help, but if it doesn’t I will most likely need to get surgery.

I’ve come here today because I haven’t really been able to find any examples of that degree of LCEA, or anyone really close to it; though I may not be looking hard enough. I’m honestly just confused and kind of upset because I’ve never had any pain in my hips until the injury, they’ve always just been a little weird but not painful. I honestly didn’t think there was anything wrong with them, I just thought I was flexible. Now I’m finding out all these things about hip dysplasia and PAO surgery and I’m not sure where to go from here 🥲

I wasn’t given any other measurements regarding the dysplasia, just the LCEA. If anyone has had a similar measurement then I would really appreciate if you could share some of your experiences. I’m only 22(F) and I really just wasn’t expecting this 🥲

For some context, we’ve been dating for a year, though there have been some moments where we have gotten close to separating (long story, minor issues). He has AuDHD and I have a cocktail of issues that also include neurodivergence as well lol. Despite his age, I’m the first woman he’s been with for more than 2-3 months, and so therefore being in a longer term relationship has been an adjustment. At the beginning of our relationship things went well, and we were intimate regularly (in person and suggestive talk over text) for the first two months or so.

However, throughout the course of our relationship there have been some hiccups. Though I have been his most enjoyable partner, we’re both kind of under the impression that he’s either on the asexual spectrum or just naturally has low libido. Adjusting to that after my previous experiences and also some childhood trauma has not always been easy. A few of these small tiffs have been over intimacy issues, while other bigger ones have been over some jealousy on my part (though the jealousy/anxiety issues have been settled)

Sometimes we have communication issues and can tend to misunderstand each other over text as well as over the phone, our best communication happens in person, but for the past couple of months we’ve only been able to see each other mostly once a week due to his work schedule. Though we recently spent a whole week together on a trip and it went very well, he stated “this is the chillest you’ve ever been.” Keep in mind, I am chill day to day, but I have gotten occasionally, and most often reasonably, peeved by him. (Examples: staying out until 5 am on a day that we have plans, his occasional rudeness, him making certain assumptions, etc. all relatively minor things)

Anyway, regarding our intimacy, there have been times where we talk about it and manage to get into a more regular rhythm, but there’s also been times where we’ll go a month or so without it. I have a high libido, so I do occasionally try to initiate and get shot down, but I’m also attracted to him and express it openly without any expectations for intimacy. He thinks I’m beautiful, he is attracted to me, and he has no issues being physically ready whether we actually get intimate or not. I’ve had some issues with hurt feelings about rejection previously, but those have been worked on and settled (within myself and in the relationship). Either way, when we do have sex, it is considerably enjoyable for both of us.

Just tonight he told me that he was worried about our mismatched libidos. How it makes him stressed/sad that he can’t please me, and that there really isn’t anything he can do about not wanting sex (it’s not a hormone thing either, his bloodwork is fine). I told him that our relationship isn’t really about sex to me, I like him whether we have sex or not. He says that that sounds like settling. I basically asked him “well, are you saying you think we should break up?” and he said no. Sadly, could not continue the conversation, but we will be later. Keep in mind, all I really did earlier in the conversation was bring up how I bought condoms because he had mentioned how that would make him less anxious about sex a couple weeks ago, since his worst fear right now is me getting pregnant in a red state- me too lmao- and there’s a chance my copper IUD could fail. And it only got brought up because of a weird wet dream I had haha
(Condoms at this point in the relationship can seem weird cause we haven’t used them throughout our relationship(both tested) but I’m not worried about him cheating because 1. asexual and 2. I know where he is at all times lmao)

Anyway, I know the obvious solution to a lot of people is going to be ‘break up.’ I don’t want to, and I don’t think he does either. Our relationship is good for the most part, and I do love him. What I really just need advice for is any suggestions for how to improve the intimacy issue. I know he’s worried about my satisfaction, but I’ve wholly decided that I care about him more than I care about sex. Not because I’m settling, not because I’m afraid to let go, I just simply value our relationship more than sex. I’m just not sure how to ease his worries. I apologize for the long wall of text, there are a lot of weird complex things about our relationship that I haven’t been able to explain, his autism and my own issues play a good part in certain aspects that I wouldn’t consider completely average/normal compared to long-ish term relationships I’ve had before- but I will answer any clarifying questions that any of you may ask. Thank you to whoever read through all of this :’)

TLDR: my boyfriend is kind of asexual, I am not, and our mismatched libido is still a cause of concern a year into our relationship. Any constructive advice is welcome :)