u/a_worldwithoutshrimp

Meowmy has done NUFFIN but watch da sport aw day! Hermz watched da stoopid ball game on da grass were dum dum hoomans keep shouting “OWT!” an now Hermz haz stayed up to watch anover ball game on da grass eben tho it waz soft sqware tyme three furebers ago an ai keep telling Hermz iz da long nap tyme.

Ai hear dis is becoz dere is a big competishun on am dere is sum ting called tyme difrence. Woo med dis difrence? Woo can ai soo? Dis unaceptabull - ai needz mai night tyme cuddles.

Wat iz it about dis grass anyway?

Love fren Missy ❤️

Dis me doing a sad.

Today Ai went on MOST egg citing beach day! Here is what happened to me an mai frens, including owr gud fren Richpurrd Dreyfurs woo we all met furebers ago!

Picture 1 is me arribing for da beach party at Amitee Ailand! Ai is meeting my frens an we going to have best day eber!

Picture 2 is me and my frens at da beach! We iz ready for da fun day ahead and further up da beach is a playce dat sells iced churus!

Picture 3 is when Richpurrd Dreyfurs do an inbite onto a boat twip! BUT. We see sumthing in da water that gibe us all a concern…

Picture 4: IT IS A SHARK 🙀

Ai tellz mai frens dat Dey must go and do a hide hide!

Den me and Richpurrd and man called da KWINT* do a big skerr of da shark woo does a frighten and swims away! Das picture 5.

After we aw go back to da beech and have Dee Jay pawty to selly brate! Das da last picture, picture 6.

We had a very egg citing day in da Amitee Ailand! Ai do not fink ai wud go back dere tho, too skerry for me.

Love fren Missy ❤️🦈🏖️

( * Literally because I didn’t have enough room or pictures unless all of them were in the sea!

If anyone wants to add themselves in please feel free to do so! Some of the pics I have of our lovebugs were in other moobie Tuesday outfits so looked slightly incongruous. I took the liberty of adding those I have - hope that’s ok!)

u/ksh_667
u/charivari8
u/kathym050806
u/mostlylurking07
u/hesalwayslitty
u/jellosquid808

Hai frens! Ai, Missy, is aw set up in da forest to start da rob of da greedy hoomans who keep our fud away from us an gib it aw back to us poor kittehs, cats, and other non-cat shaped frens!

Ai hav my swag bag to staw da fud and treats in, an da mos SKERRY weppon of aw - da big pick upper monsta from unda da stayrs! Enuff to do an afrayd tew even da bravest foe!

Ai be back soon with aw da gud fings! Meowmy is going tew leave da litebox wiv me so Ai can luk at aw da advenchurrs!

Love fren Missy ❤️ 🌳

Frens! Ai am meowst upset. Afta a hot hot week ai yesserday gib da hooman sum lap time a cuddles, lyk we hab tew to keep da fud an da comfort coming.

Tew nite hermz is taking it tew far! Ai am doing da sleep near hermz sew hermz can defend me but ai don’t hab tew be on hermz lap, but hermz come over aw da time a keep kissing me wid da gross hooman mowth!

Dis may not be borthole violashun but hermz needs to respect mai bodily autonomy.

Ai much upset. Need pawyer to stand up for meow an ask for MUCH COMPAWNSASHUN.

Ai pay in bunts and bizkits. Love fren Missy ❤️

Here me wid da unhappy ears after da kissing 😾

Sew Moobie Toosday is da Robin Hood! Ai like Robin as dey tek all da nice treatos lyke toona an sammon from da fat hoomans and Garys and gib tew us deserving cats!

Meowmy sez tho dat hermz has da trawma from da meow-da-ebil taimes (1991) wen da song of da moobie was at meowmber one in da charts for ober 4 months! Hermz sez was no litebox or Spotify or itooones an wat dey all did at da taime was watch an lissen to da charts!

Ai is tryn to meow Meowmy off da ledge sew we can enjoy da moobie. Hermz is dumdum - hermz sings da same songs to me ebery day an ai manij!

Here is a non related pic of me in the shade in the heatwave yesterday. Meowmy knows hermz needs to pressure wash da terrace.

Frens! Ai am going on a quest to protect all da dum dum hoomans but most impawtent OUR BORTHOLES from da threat of ailyen invayzun! Here me ready wiv mai weapon. Would you lyke to come? Meowmy says dere will be cat milk and bizkits afterward as reward!

Love fren Missy ❤️

Frens, Ai hanging out with men in black and strange aileyyan fren getting ready for dansin on Toosday! At da moment Ai not getting it a facing da rong wai but Ai tink with tyme ai will get dere!

Love fren Missy de la roo roo ❤️

Edit to add… Dum dum Meowmy is now cackling to hermself as in a stoopid advert in da ewe Kay dere is a person facing da rong wai an now hermz has “diarrhoea, ah!” In hermz head an keeps singing it to me 😾🙄 https://youtu.be/EomKEmaat3c?is=TQxOQI9QjoygaSnj

Hello frens! Sorry ai has been quiet for purrebers - Meowmy sez herz been “bizzy” and dealing with things dat aren’t centred around me - OUTRAAAAAGE! Ai am luuking forward to catching up on moobie Tuesdays an seeing what yew has all been up to!

In da meantime, Ai do not know if anyone new dis, but Meowmy’s cat-calendar sed that yesterday was Mature Moggies Day in da Ewe Kay where we live! So hermz gives me sum cat milk!

Now, Ai luvs da cat milk and was sew egg cited that Ai nearly went into da scary kitchen to do some shouting! But Ai am too ladylike sew Ai waitz. As Ai had needed to get stoopid Meowmy out of bed with a head butt and some singing in da morning Ai think hermz need to learn a lesson, so Ai gibs it a purr-sory lick an den walked away! Heh heh GO CRIMEZ!

Here is me drinking da milk and den turning away!

Egg sept now Ai wasted da cat milk and have to wait until Ai have had my nasty tablets before I get some more 😾 Hoist by mai own purr-tard.

Fren Missy de la roo roo x

Frens. Ai am most aggrieved. Dis week’s Moobie Tewsday was da Princess Bride, witch iz aw abowt twoo luv. Wen da moobie finish, ai felt aw affeksunut to Meomy as Ai started to beleebe in da twoo luv! Ai tawt ai luvved hermz! Den ai realize dis iz plan of dum dum hoomans to brayn wash uz cats! OUUUUTTTTRAAAAYYYYGGGGE!

Ai am glad ai am smart and saw troo dis. If yew too haz been sucked into feeling lyke yew lyke your pawrents becoz of dis film let me know and we can file claws action lawsoot!

Hear me realize da bamboozle 😾

Love, fren Missy

Missy here! Meowmy and ai are just bowt to cuddle up and watch da film! Hermz gave me a speshul tee-ahh-a. (Hermz is pezzant in track bottoms and a tee shirt wit paynt on it! 😹) Ai hope yews all injoy! Luk forward to seeing frens’ nites an advensshures!

Hello frens Princess Miso and Prince Noku! Ai am sorry ai am late. Meowmy picked out mai owtfit along time ago but says things got “busy”. Ai bring shampain and da confetti ❤️

Frens. Ai am wat Dey call blind a not able to see much! Ai used to luv sitting on window sill but since Ai went totally blind Ai haz not Abel todo sew. Dis haz been for over two years frens! Now Ai iz napping defe for da furst time in a long tyme.

Dis me being happy wiv a glass opens!

Tonite Meowmy liftz meow up on sill. Not once, not twice, but when ai wanz. Hermz seems to be gud hoomun? Wat can ai give hermz?

Frens! Ai has seen that der was LOTS of spooky things dat affect sew many of us today! Ai can’t wait to read all about dem!

First, Ai must tell you what happened to me! Ai was hanging out at da beech party with ma frens drinking espresso purrtinis an having fun, wen Ai got a phone call! Ai was told Ai must come quickly as sumone had seen a GOST! Ai has second job as a GOSTBUSTER so Ai did a sliiiiiiiiiiiiiideeee down da pole and was on my way.

Let me tellz yew - Ai saw one as soon as Ai arrive! Sew Ai call my fren Ray. Himz tell me of the things that might happen if da gosts tek over - ai don’t see a problem so thought ai wud leave da gost alone, but then Ai see….

IT WUZ ONE OF PHAT GARY’S MINYUNS!!!

So ai blast himz straiyt away and he burst into many pieces an ai catch him in mai trap! Take DAT Phat Gary’s lapsqwirrel!

BUT it was not over 🙀 Dere was a loud noize an wen I got to the street ai see a big fluffy saylor! Ai runs and runs to da top of a billing an ai see that Phat Gary HIMZELF is now calling himself Gary the Gozerian an dat HE sent da saylor!

For reesons ai don’t know dese other weerd things from the 80s called the Care Bears turn up and we all do a thing called the Care Bears Stare! Dis blasts the saylor and defeets stoopid Phat Gary 🤘 Ai was a bit messy after dat but den I got a medal from the Top Cat of da city so Ai happy.

Oh, and Meowmy wanted me to include a photo of herz at da end. She sez it meks sense if read da end bit. Ai think she green from the minyon explosion. Ai am not going to ask - ai have odder impawtent things to do!

MISSY THE DEMIGOD

(Disclaimer from Missy’s human here - it is so hot that this is some kind of fever dream and I apologise 😂 Our houses in the UK are built to keep the heat in and we have no AC, and my living room hasn’t gone below 28 degrees for nearly four days now… I will also be including Missy’s friends more as we get to know everyone better ❤️)

Frens, iz hot hot hot in Ewe Kay wherez Ai live, an so Ai am doing a lot of snoozing. Meowmy sez Ai lewk lyke am on sumthing called awl incloosive an haz arrange a bootiful bed for me to liez in!

Dere is plenty of room and Meowmy haz promise treatos and catnip cocktails for later 😺 - if yew are free an fancy a join, yew are mos wellcome!

Missy de la roo roo aka Queen of the Sunbed

Ai Missy woz doin a snooze on da back step wen Meowmy sayz hermz “can’t cope wid mai cuteness” and “luvs me too much”! Dis is not a ting, rite? Iz not possible for a cat to be luvved too much! Ai tink ai have defektiff hooman who duz not unnerstand how sufurb uz catz are. Ai wan to sue for noo Meowmy or Pawther or both who haz da intellijens to cowpe wid mai brilliance. Dis wan useless.

Ai am heer at moobie place an ai bump into a hooman who sez himz name is Meowster Richard Dreyfurrrrrs a that himz woz in da moobie 🙀 Ai hope it iz ok to bring himz along?

Let me no wat snax and treatoes yew all want for da film - it’s mai rownd!

😻 Missy of da la roo roo clan

Frens! Ai haz MOST strange tail to tell!

Eleventy purrebers ago Ai go fur drive with dum dum meowmy. BUT! Da road is blocked by big lite metal carrier and its doors open! Aiz doo a fish breth yorrn to sker way ayyliem but ai was catnapped!

Inside dey woz habbin gud pawwwty and ai did sum dance! But den an ayyliem call Frank-n-Furrrrter arrive an ask me to sit wiv dem! Frank was nyce but had no treatoz 😾 sew ai ran n fownd not dum dum hooman an a VERY big cat who sed dey could tek meow homez! We floo thru spayyce and pass da moon and thru Cat Milky Way.

Den ai waz homez an in mai bed! Meomy say it waz jus a dreem but we all no dat she a dum dum who no nuffing bout spayyyyce n ayyliems lyk us.

Here sum pix of mai advenchurus!

Frens. In needz of purrgent help. This is ai errliers. Waz happee an havin snoooz. Then the traytor whoz calz themselvez Meowmy wen down the down things (we livvz in upside down howz appar…app…she sez) and changez the skqware blankets! Dis alone is outrayyge! I spen so much taime making smellz of me and Meomy.

Ai hadz to inves…luk into dis so ai went down the things. Meowmy cuddlez me and letz me be invollovved butt wen went to go to outsize wurld (*) ai was catnapped inn too tauwel and given da fleeeee a Tick treaaatmwnt!

Ai soez upset that Meowmy was only allowed to gibs me dinner and a smol stroke beefor Ai left the haus agen.

Thinkin ai soo for xtra pckle n sum hugz and to wek up Meomy at 5.25 for eter… eeeter…ever.

(We’re in the UK so outside is generally safe, although Missy is now 100% indoor which includes a high fenced outdoor terrace that allows her to be outside but be safe ❤️. Missy has decided that 5.25 is getting up time as I am 48 and need the loo in the middle of the night and just ONCE I fed her while I was up 🤷‍♀️.)

EDIT FRENZ!!!! Ai juss yakkyakk behindz sowfa Meowmy iz sitting on. GO CRIMEZZZZZZ