u/aboabro

Name the Cognitive Distortion and write down the thought it causes	What emotions does this thought bring up for you?	What behaviors does this thought lead to for you?	What cognitive defusion skill would work best for you to challenge this thought?	What about your life would change if you experienced this thought less?
Labeling & Overgeneralization "If I let in a goal, I’m a bad goalie and this proves it. I failed myself and the team. I am not good enough."	Crushing shame, defeat, profound self-disappointment, helplessness, despair, feeling like a fraud.	Freezing up or playing stiff; drop in aggressive edge; withdrawing eye contact from teammates; agonizing over every replay in your head; wanting to disappear off the ice.	The "Notice and Name" Hook: When the spiral hits, say internally: "Ah, there’s the 'Not Good Enough' story hooked into me again." Fact vs. Story Separation: Tell yourself firmly: "A puck went into the net. That is an event, not an identity. A single shot cannot define my worth as an athlete."	You would play with explosive freedom instead of walking on eggshells; a goal against would simply mean puck drop at center, not a trial on your value; you’d leave the rink feeling grounded rather than emotionally drained.
Mind Reading & Catastrophizing "Everyone on the bench is talking bad about me, thinks I'm a crap goalie, and won't want me to play with them anymore."	Shame, intense embarrassment, inadequacy, anxiety, isolation, dread.	Slouching/looking away from teammates; over-gripping the stick; rushing the next play out of panic; withdrawing in the locker room; avoiding eye contact after the game.	Labeling the Thought: Mentally step back and say, "I am having the thought that everyone blames me." Pair this with a physical reset routine (e.g., skate to the corner, squirt water on your face, reset the posts) to anchor back into the present moment rather than treating the story in your head as reality.	Hockey would feel fun and energizing again instead of high-stakes and isolating; letting in a goal would be treated as just one data point in a fast game; resetting after a goal would be faster, and locker room interactions would feel relaxed and connected.

I found this really useful for me to help manage my perfectionism and negative self talk when I let in a goal.

This chart is designed primarily as a tool for reflection. It can also be used to make a plan for challenging your thoughts.

That "I am not good enough" script is trying to make a universal ruling on your worth based on a split-second bounce of vulcanized rubber.

Hope this helps someone else! You can ask an AI chat something you think or feel when you let in a goal and have it match it to a cognitive distortion and answer those questions.

I have been working in tech as a product manager for over a decade and have saved and invested enough to retire in five years. I had a mental breakdown a couple of weeks ago and I’m currently in an outpatient partial hospitalization program because cannot handle the day-to-day stress of working full-time. We also have a toddler.. my partner and I. My fire number is around 5 million because we spend about 180,000 a year. I feel like I’m a workaholic and I do not really have a good relationship with my toddler because I prioritize work over my well-being and family. I’m also just generally really burned out. I took short-term disability off of work and have the next couple of months off and not having any work has allowed me to be so present in my day-to-day life with my family and my toddler and it’s giving me back joy and happiness. Just knowing that I can take the morning slow and go to therapy and just spend time with my toddler in my family is just so rewarding. It makes me really want to quit my job. If I do, I think I might struggle going back to a full-time job in the future and I don’t think my skills will set me up for some sort of consulting opportunity. If I leave my current job in tech because of where I live, I’m looking at at least a 50 to 70% pay cut in any future job that I get. I feel like I have been grinding for the past 14+ years and I just want a nice break for a couple of years and then I might be willing to go back and work part-time. But then part of me wants to just push myself for another two or three years and then I get closer to my retirement goal and then I can live more comfortably for the rest of my life. Do I just need to suck it up and suffer for another couple of years? Or do I quit and have a healthier lifestyle and mindset and find some to joy my life. But then that trade-off comes with the fact that I retired too early I guess so I need to probably find a way to make money again in the future, which will be hard for me. And I don’t think that we can really downsize our lifestyle too much. Any advice is appreciated. I am the breadwinner.

Edit : we have 3.2 right now. My partner has a disability and wants to retire Early so they can enjoy life because they have a lower life expectancy. So me doing this affects their retirement.

I may be able to bring it down to 150 a year instead of 180, after my kid is out of daycare. My main expenditures are my mortgage, daycare, medical expenses. And of course, investing. We have a 15 year mortgage so maybe that’s why it’s a little on the higher end. Our daycare is pretty expensive and it’s actually a lower cost care for our area. It’s close to 30,000 a year. we hit our deductible every year for medical and then have other medical expenses on top of that and expenses that are related to health and medical. We spend around 1000 a month on groceries in $700 a month eating out. 180 goes really quick. I spend probably 75,000 a year on our mortgage and phantom costs like upgrades and improvements.

Just a friendly reminder from one Goalie to another. That we can play perfect or nearly perfect and still not win.

The games where I know I had an incredible game, but we lost because my team could not score. I actually feel good about it because at least I did not let my team down.

But games where I let in a goal and now there’s pressure for the team to score. I feel so bad! I feel like I have to play a near perfect game in order to win on my team these days because we don’t have a lot of shooting power and it just puts a lot of pressure on me and doesn’t make it as fun. Even if the shot our goal was good. I still beat myself up and especially if I think I might have been able to save it if I did something different. It just replays in my mind over and over again.

Yesterday 15 seconds into the game there was a shot that was going over 6 feet wide that went off of my defensive shoulder and in. I was so frustrated but then I played one of the best games of my life and I had over 40 shots and no goals! I considered that a shut out for myself, but we ended up losing one – zero anyway. So there I think I played a pretty much perfect game and we still lost! I was actually more happy because at least I knew it was not my fault. Does anyone else feel like this?

Hello, I am posting on behalf of my friend who doesnt have reddit.

They need help re-designing their backyard which is small. They have a dog, cat and toddler. There is a large tree SE corner they dont want to remove. the top half is concrete paved and the bottom half is mulch they hate.

Any advice on what to do? They want it to be multifunctional but relaxing.

https://preview.redd.it/7v4qn3qzrq0h1.png?width=2058&format=png&auto=webp&s=cfb21f499cb2eff74f422d45732cd9234f0f0602

https://preview.redd.it/yks8d6qzrq0h1.png?width=2074&format=png&auto=webp&s=00174789e5547cde66b23781e97f5fad55c91398

https://preview.redd.it/na3ux1qzrq0h1.png?width=358&format=png&auto=webp&s=6eba159d40619e611579315550b27035246046d7

Hello, I am posting on behalf of my friend who doesnt have reddit.

They need help re-designing their backyard which is small. They have a dog, cat and toddler. There is a large tree SE corner they dont want to remove. the top half is concrete paved and the bottom half is mulch they hate.

Any advice on what to do? They want it to be multifunctional but relaxing.

https://preview.redd.it/jse4kqqvrq0h1.png?width=2058&format=png&auto=webp&s=21d1453880ad5a079d9a8ef0f36730c029534552

https://preview.redd.it/bthayqqvrq0h1.png?width=2074&format=png&auto=webp&s=6ce7877554f314e5bb36b948446121386408475c

https://preview.redd.it/85uzjqqvrq0h1.png?width=358&format=png&auto=webp&s=32e08a2365cee45b3ada2778b63667d3cde357a0

I only like dry shaving and am breaking out from it. I won’t use electric razors and want manual only. For legs, armpits and special bits.

Past couple games I’ve got slap shots to the helmet in my coed league. Both immediately caused ringing in the ears and distortion. Minor pain.

Is this really bad? How do I prevent this.

Edit: Bauer Profile 940 Certified Cat Eye Goalie Mask - Senior.

I am trying to drink less and use gummies to manage my anxiety and relax. And help with social situations.

I’m noticing it doesn’t 100% scratch that same itch.

What I like about alcohol is that it’s stimulates me, especially in party situations to socialize. Whereas when I eat a gummy, I just wanna relax and not really do anything.

Any advice?

Do you use them? If so do you think they work? I’m already kind of in fight or flight mode when I play and I tried them and didn’t feel much.

It’s not proven to help I guess but sometimes I’m exhausted at period 3 and could use a boost.