u/acaipie

hi guys. i just picked up rollerskating and i thought it would be like skating on ice but i guess its way harder haha. i look like a baby deer learning how to walk who’s also out of control, so no sidewalks and stuff for now.

are there any large flat smooth areas or outdoor rinks in the downtown area that i can travel to for practice? or even within a university gym or something?

i tried an outdoor parking lot behind my building and it was super bumpy and next to the trash bins which isn’t fun and also is kinda downhill plus i don’t know how to stop yet so i fell super hard HAHA

the beltway will be closed for world cup for a bit, is all i know

starting this with i like being asian (chinese) around other asians, i like my culture, the language, i consume tons of asian media, i watch also anime and korean media, makeup beauty fashion skincare everything like i love it… in a bubble

it’s so hard when im getting different signals from society and the corporate working world and i have always wished that i was white (even HALF white) and how much easier that would make things in the outside world, whether it’s white senior leaders only paying attention to white junior employees and interns, all the people with power being the white folks and also just gravitating to liking white employees by default, with my currently skillset and abilities, being white would like double my success i feel like

plus this wouldn’t even be fixed if i moved to an asian country (i’m in north america) because in asian countries, they love foreigners, white folk, expensive international schools employ white people, use them as the face of school and they are regarded as “better” when there are white teachers, in corporate, the senior leaders brought over don’t even need to learn the local language and will have translators, and things wouldn’t even be better in asia for me anyways

it’s not like i can exactly change my race completely but boy, everyday, do i think to myself, how much easier it would be if i was just white, or even half

i may just have to find a more “asian” company to work at, but with large international companies, you betcha the senior leaders are literally all white, even white men, and it’s not like chinese folk have solidarity with each other like the koreans and japanese do, so i’m honestly just cooked and have to really just grind this out myself, which is FINE, but when you have a call of poc interns + 1 white intern and white senior leaders comes in and basically just talks to white intern, what else am i supposed to feel other than wishing i was white

hi friends

i think i might be experiencing long term (4 year long) limerence over a girl from my uni. i am obsessed with her online presence and i am very very attracted to her (ive had crushes on girls since i was 12 but this girl is my first sexual awakening ✨)

she totally has a boyfriend, and even if she was into girls i don’t think i would be first in line lol, so i just have to torture myself everyday with the thought of her and idk try to get over her? seems really impossible rn

the thing is is though in person, there’s no butterflies or anything, i do get a little nervous but not really, we are just like normal vibes, there’s not really any sparks or chemistry

i’ve dated and been really disgusted by a lot of men and had a lot of comp het conditioning in my head they i’m just undoing now, but this girl is really something. in my thoughts about her (every morning and every night basically), i’d love her, i’d satisfy her, i’d work so hard to make so much money to buy her things, she could do no wrong in my head honestly

i think this might be limerence but nonetheless it’s kinda ruining my life! help please!

edit: to add i’m also dying to get a gf or the idea of a gf in my head and im also dying to go to japan with said future imaginary gf. fml