u/acanekp

how do y‘all deal with the fact knowing how loving and sweet your sp can be but you can’t seem to get them to be exactly THAT anymore no matter how much you do or how much you DONT do?

I wish I could simply move on and not care about my SP anymore. Truly. But I KNOW how good he can be because that’s how I used to know him. I won’t settle for less in love. And he was exactly what I wanted but because of my own insecurities I couldn’t see it back then, and then I manifested this cold version of him because I got so emotional depending on him.

If he always would‘ve been this cold I could EASILY let him go but because I KNOW how sweet gentle and how eager he used to be to be with me I just CANT let go.

I feel EXHAUSTED

how do y‘all deal with the fact knowing how loving and sweet your sp can be but you can’t seem to get them to be exactly THAT anymore no matter how much you do or how much you DONT do?

I wish I could simply move on and not care about my SP anymore. Truly. But I KNOW how good he can be because that’s how I used to know him. I won’t settle for less in love. And he was exactly what I wanted but because of my own insecurities I couldn’t see it back then, and then I manifested this cold version of him because I got so emotional depending on him.

If he always would‘ve been this cold I could EASILY let him go but because I KNOW how sweet gentle and how eager he used to be to be with me I just CANT let go.

I feel EXHAUSTED

how do y‘all deal with the fact knowing how loving and sweet your sp can be but you can’t seem to get them to be exactly THAT anymore no matter how much you do or how much you DONT do?

I wish I could simply move on and not care about my SP anymore. Truly. But I KNOW how good he can be. I won’t settle for less in love. And he was exactly what I wanted but because of my own insecurities I couldn’t see it back then, and then I manifested this cold version of him because I got so emotional depending on him.

I feel EXHAUSTED

so basically I’ve been digging real deep the past few days and go within myself.

for years my SP was super sweet. Straight out of a book and literally the type of guy I’d want. But I was not 100% sure and was always too insecure to actually go for it because I was that kind of person that‘d think „who actually even wants me“. But he wouldn’t stop. He was genuinely into me, being open about it, calling me his „wife“ in front of people. Going so far to talk about MARRIAGE with me.

Even if I had a low view of myself, I always knew I wouldn’t settle for less when it came to love. I was pretty late to everything because of this. I had people want me, ask me out, but I never truly cared because i waited for the person that just made it feel „right“. (Obviously, that was him) I always promised myself to not force anything. And I never did.

When things got a little more serious it didn’t even take a month for things to completely fall apart. (We‘ve known each other for 4-5 years at that point already) I was so insecure, constantly talking badly about him, and started depending EVERY emotion of my own on HIM.

I was in love with him before, yes. I had moments of „I need to confess to him right now or I’ll rip my hair out“ and I did, and he‘d just listen and tell me basically he feels the same. But obviously I wasn’t „depending“ on him the way I was few months later when everything fell apart.

I was living. I KEPT living. I hung out with friends and family. Then I turned into this person that I never wanted to be. Everything depended on him. If he‘d text or not. If he asks me to hang out or not. HOW he‘d text. And all of that within a week.

Obviously I ended things. Not because I wanted to, but because I had people tell me I should. And because I thought this is gonna get a reaction out of him. Anyway, he then became (for almost a whole year) this really REALLY cold and mean person towards me.

I know this is MY doing. Both versions of him.

I started my manifesting journey about 6-7 months ago. I got him back, we already hung out a couple of times again, he doesn’t ignore me at work anymore and does act very handsy at work with me again (to the point that people ask again if we‘re together) but it’s just not how it used to be.

Now I’m working hard towards going back to a state that won’t decipher every single thing he does. I once had this version of him that wanted me so badly he asked for TWO years if we wanna hang out, texted first, gave me his ALL. so I know I simply can get that back but I NEED to stop depending MY wellbeing on him. It’s not who I am or who I ever wanted to be.

Obviously it’s harder because now a lot of stuff has happened between us and before was more like a „we like each other we‘re trying to figure out what this is“ or that I never thought that I could even fall for someone this hard.

Even if I go back to that state of just living, hanging out with people and just being who I used to be, I’M obviously not the same anymore. I know what I want now, WHO I want, I’m confident within myself and don’t need other people to tell me what I should want and what not. So how do get this version of him back when I’ve changed so much? Also now I’m aware of manifesting. It feels a little harder now than back then when he simply just wanted me.

How do I stop being scared that if I won’t actively manifest him, everything will still fall into place? Obviously every time fear comes up, I’ll just simply go „we‘re already together, it’s done“ but obviously there’s a fear inside of me that is like „oh my god if you don’t do something, you‘ll lose him!“

so a little something I’ve been wondering.

i know two versions of my sp.

The one that was genuinely interested in me for YEARS. Obsessed. Sweet. Gentle. Asking me out for over a year and not giving up. Calling me his wife in front of other people.

And then the one after I ended things because I was too insecure. He got cold. Ignoring. Walking past me. ME chasing HIM.

My question.. during the time he was openly into me I had a low self concept. But I was living my life. I wasn’t constantly checking time (saying this because this is something I struggle with ever since consciously manifesting) but I just lived and let it all be a beautiful process. Even with a LOW self concept I always had this „I’m never settling for less I know I want the kind of love that you‘d find in Rom-coms“ thought. I always been told I’ll never find someone because of my standards. (Until him)
and again when I say this man was INTO me, I mean it. He wouldn’t hide it in front of anybody. He‘d be straight up with it. And that for YEARS. (I also have to say I knew he‘d be the first guy I’d trust and no matter how often I’d tell people that him and I aren’t gonna work I KNEW he’s the one I want)

Then I ended things after we finally started hanging out a few months after simply because I was too insecure. I was so bad that after every hangout i‘d talk badly about him as in „he probably just wants one thing“ or „there’s no way he’s actually into me“ even though he was the MOST patient, gentle guy. I just constantly talked badly about him because of my own insecurities and my view of men.

Then I ended it because other people told me to… because I was telling them a version of him that didn’t even exist.

And then he turned into this guy that ignored me. Walked past me. Literally had me beg for him and he‘d just tell me „I don’t want a relationship“ even though he clearly wanted one with me and was ALWAYS saying it. (After I ended things I realised how deep my ACTUAL feelings are for him)

So now I’m wondering. For the years he showed up as this perfect guy (I was also very obsessed with him during this time like ALWAYS!! I was deeply in love but just refused to acknowledge it) was he just showing up as that version because THATS just what I knew him as? There obviously wasn’t any hurt before so I just constantly viewed it as normal that he‘d show this immense interest (even though I couldn’t believe someone would ever be interested in me. But it was just NORMAL to me that HE was because that’s just what was happening??? And it became more and more because the thought of him, for example, asking me out was just something normal to me?)

And then afterwards, the cold and distant version, when a month before he became all that I was constantly speaking and thinking horribly about him and the situation in general, did he show up as that version because of THAT?

Im genuinely wondering.

And how would I be getting the first version back? I’m obviously not that person anymore that I used to be during the years he was so obsessed with. I love myself now. Genuinely. But now it just obviously doesn’t feel as natural to me anymore to view him as the guy that constantly asks me out or calls me his wife because there’s this OTHER version of him I know.

so a little something I’ve been wondering.

i know two versions of my sp.

The one that was genuinely interested in me for YEARS. Obsessed. Sweet. Gentle. Asking me out for over a year and not giving up. Calling me his wife in front of other people.

And then the one after I ended things because I was too insecure. He got cold. Ignoring. Walking past me. ME chasing HIM.

My question.. during the time he was openly into me I had a low self concept. But I was living my life. I wasn’t constantly checking time (saying this because this is something I struggle with ever since consciously manifesting) but I just lived and let it all be a beautiful process. Even with a LOW self concept I always had this „I’m never settling for less I know I want the kind of love that you‘d find in Rom-coms“ thought. I always been told I’ll never find someone because of my standards. (Until him)
and again when I say this man was INTO me, I mean it. He wouldn’t hide it in front of anybody. He‘d be straight up with it. And that for YEARS. (I also have to say I knew he‘d be the first guy I’d trust and no matter how often I’d tell people that him and I aren’t gonna work I KNEW he’s the one I want)

Then I ended things after we finally started hanging out a few months after simply because I was too insecure. I was so bad that after every hangout i‘d talk badly about him as in „he probably just wants one thing“ or „there’s no way he’s actually into me“ even though he was the MOST patient, gentle guy. I just constantly talked badly about him because of my own insecurities and my view of men.

Then I ended it because other people told me to… because I was telling them a version of him that didn’t even exist.

And then he turned into this guy that ignored me. Walked past me. Literally had me beg for him and he‘d just tell me „I don’t want a relationship“ even though he clearly wanted one with me and was ALWAYS saying it. (After I ended things I realised how deep my ACTUAL feelings are for him)

So now I’m wondering. For the years he showed up as this perfect guy (I was also very obsessed with him during this time like ALWAYS!! I was deeply in love but just refused to acknowledge it) was he just showing up as that version because THATS just what I knew him as? There obviously wasn’t any hurt before so I just constantly viewed it as normal that he‘d show this immense interest (even though I couldn’t believe someone would ever be interested in me. But it was just NORMAL to me that HE was because that’s just what was happening??? And it became more and more because the thought of him, for example, asking me out was just something normal to me?)

And then afterwards, the cold and distant version, when a month before he became all that I was constantly speaking and thinking horribly about him and the situation in general, did he show up as that version because of THAT?

Im genuinely wondering.

And how would I be getting the first version back? I’m obviously not that person anymore that I used to be during the years he was so obsessed with. I love myself now. Genuinely. But now it just obviously doesn’t feel as natural to me anymore to view him as the guy that constantly asks me out or calls me his wife because there’s this OTHER version of him I know.

so a little something I’ve been wondering.

i know two versions of my sp.

The one that was genuinely interested in me for YEARS. Obsessed. Sweet. Gentle. Asking me out for over a year and not giving up. Calling me his wife in front of other people.

And then the one after I ended things because I was too insecure. He got cold. Ignoring. Walking past me. ME chasing HIM.

My question.. during the time he was openly into me I had a low self concept. But I was living my life. I wasn’t constantly checking time (saying this because this is something I struggle with ever since consciously manifesting) but I just lived and let it all be a beautiful process. Even with a LOW self concept I always had this „I’m never settling for less I know I want the kind of love that you‘d find in Rom-coms“ thought. I always been told I’ll never find someone because of my standards. (Until him)
and again when I say this man was INTO me, I mean it. He wouldn’t hide it in front of anybody. He‘d be straight up with it. And that for YEARS. (I also have to say I knew he‘d be the first guy I’d trust and no matter how often I’d tell people that him and I aren’t gonna work I KNEW he’s the one I want)

Then I ended things after we finally started hanging out a few months after simply because I was too insecure. I was so bad that after every hangout i‘d talk badly about him as in „he probably just wants one thing“ or „there’s no way he’s actually into me“ even though he was the MOST patient, gentle guy. I just constantly talked badly about him because of my own insecurities and my view of men.

Then I ended it because other people told me to… because I was telling them a version of him that didn’t even exist.

And then he turned into this guy that ignored me. Walked past me. Literally had me beg for him and he‘d just tell me „I don’t want a relationship“ even though he clearly wanted one with me and was ALWAYS saying it. (After I ended things I realised how deep my ACTUAL feelings are for him)

So now I’m wondering. For the years he showed up as this perfect guy (I was also very obsessed with him during this time like ALWAYS!! I was deeply in love but just refused to acknowledge it) was he just showing up as that version because THATS just what I knew him as? There obviously wasn’t any hurt before so I just constantly viewed it as normal that he‘d show this immense interest (even though I couldn’t believe someone would ever be interested in me. But it was just NORMAL to me that HE was because that’s just what was happening??? And it became more and more because the thought of him, for example, asking me out was just something normal to me?)

And then afterwards, the cold and distant version, when a month before he became all that I was constantly speaking and thinking horribly about him and the situation in general, did he show up as that version because of THAT?

Im genuinely wondering.

And how would I be getting the first version back? I’m obviously not that person anymore that I used to be during the years he was so obsessed with. I love myself now. Genuinely. But now it just obviously doesn’t feel as natural to me anymore to view him as the guy that constantly asks me out or calls me his wife because there’s this OTHER version of him I know.

so a little something I’ve been wondering.

i know two versions of my sp.

The one that was genuinely interested in me for YEARS. Obsessed. Sweet. Gentle. Asking me out for over a year and not giving up. Calling me his wife in front of other people.

And then the one after I ended things because I was too insecure. He got cold. Ignoring. Walking past me. ME chasing HIM.

My question.. during the time he was openly into me I had a low self concept. But I was living my life. I wasn’t constantly checking time (saying this because this is something I struggle with ever since consciously manifesting) but I just lived and let it all be a beautiful process. Even with a LOW self concept I always had this „I’m never settling for less I know I want the kind of love that you‘d find in Rom-coms“ thought. I always been told I’ll never find someone because of my standards. (Until him)
and again when I say this man was INTO me, I mean it. He wouldn’t hide it in front of anybody. He‘d be straight up with it. And that for YEARS. (I also have to say I knew he‘d be the first guy I’d trust and no matter how often I’d tell people that him and I aren’t gonna work I KNEW he’s the one I want)

Then I ended things after we finally started hanging out a few months after simply because I was too insecure. I was so bad that after every hangout i‘d talk badly about him as in „he probably just wants one thing“ or „there’s no way he’s actually into me“ even though he was the MOST patient, gentle guy. I just constantly talked badly about him because of my own insecurities and my view of men.

Then I ended it because other people told me to… because I was telling them a version of him that didn’t even exist.

And then he turned into this guy that ignored me. Walked past me. Literally had me beg for him and he‘d just tell me „I don’t want a relationship“ even though he clearly wanted one with me and was ALWAYS saying it. (After I ended things I realised how deep my ACTUAL feelings are for him)

So now I’m wondering. For the years he showed up as this perfect guy (I was also very obsessed with him during this time like ALWAYS!! I was deeply in love but just refused to acknowledge it) was he just showing up as that version because THATS just what I knew him as? There obviously wasn’t any hurt before so I just constantly viewed it as normal that he‘d show this immense interest (even though I couldn’t believe someone would ever be interested in me. But it was just NORMAL to me that HE was because that’s just what was happening??? And it became more and more because the thought of him, for example, asking me out was just something normal to me?)

And then afterwards, the cold and distant version, when a month before he became all that I was constantly speaking and thinking horribly about him and the situation in general, did he show up as that version because of THAT?

Im genuinely wondering.

And how would I be getting the first version back? I’m obviously not that person anymore that I used to be during the years he was so obsessed with. I love myself now. Genuinely. But now it just obviously doesn’t feel as natural to me anymore to view him as the guy that constantly asks me out or calls me his wife because there’s this OTHER version of him I know.

so a little something I’ve been wondering.

i know two versions of my sp.

The one that was genuinely interested in me for YEARS. Obsessed. Sweet. Gentle. Asking me out for over a year and not giving up. Calling me his wife in front of other people.

And then the one after I ended things because I was too insecure. Cold. Ignoring. Walking past me. ME chasing HIM.

My question.. during the time he was openly into me I had a low self concept. But I was living my life. I wasn’t constantly checking time (saying this because this is something I struggle with ever since consciously manifesting) but I just lived and let it all be a beautiful process. Even with a LOW self concept I always had this „I’m never settling for less I know I want the kind of love that you‘d find in Rom-coms“ thought. I always been told I’ll never find someone because of my standards. (Until him)
and again when I say this man was INTO me, I mean it. He wouldn’t hide it in front of anybody. He‘d be straight up with it. And that for YEARS. (I also have to say I knew he‘d be the first guy I’d trust and no matter how often I’d tell people that him and I aren’t gonna work I KNEW he’s the one I want)

Then I ended things after we finally started hanging out a few months after simply because I was too insecure. I was so bad that after every hangout i‘d talk badly about him as in „he probably just wants one thing“ or „there’s no way he’s actually into me“ even though he was the MOST patient, gentle guy. I just constantly talked badly about him because of my own insecurities and my view of men.

Then I ended it because other people told me to… because I was telling them a version of him that didn’t even exist.

And then he turned into this guy that ignored me. Walked past me. Literally had me beg for him and he‘d just tell me „I don’t want a relationship“ even though he clearly wanted one with me and was ALWAYS saying it. (After I ended things I realised how deep my ACTUAL feelings are for him)

So now I’m wondering. For the years he showed up as this perfect guy (I was also very obsessed with him during this time like ALWAYS!! I was deeply in love but just refused to acknowledge it) was he just showing up as that version because THATS just what I knew him as? There obviously wasn’t any hurt before so I just constantly viewed it as normal that he‘d show this immense interest (even though I couldn’t believe someone would ever be interested in me. But it was just NORMAL to me that HE was because that’s just what was happening??? And it became more and more because the thought of him, for example, asking me out was just something normal to me?)

And then afterwards, the cold and distant version, when a month before he became all that I was constantly speaking and thinking horribly about him and the situation in general, did he show up as that version because of THAT?

Im genuinely wondering.

And how would I be getting the first version back? I’m obviously not that person anymore that I used to be during the years he was so obsessed with. I love myself now. Genuinely. But now it just obviously doesn’t feel as natural to me anymore to view him as the guy that constantly asks me out or calls me his wife because there’s this OTHER version of him I know.

so a little something I’ve been wondering.

i know two versions of my sp.

The one that was genuinely interested in me for YEARS. Obsessed. Sweet. Gentle. Asking me out for over a year and not giving up. Calling me his wife in front of other people.

And then the one after I ended things because I was too insecure. He got cold. Ignoring. Walking past me. ME chasing HIM.

My question.. during the time he was openly into me I had a low self concept. But I was living my life. I wasn’t constantly checking time (saying this because this is something I struggle with ever since consciously manifesting) but I just lived and let it all be a beautiful process. Even with a LOW self concept I always had this „I’m never settling for less I know I want the kind of love that you‘d find in Rom-coms“ thought. I always been told I’ll never find someone because of my standards. (Until him)
and again when I say this man was INTO me, I mean it. He wouldn’t hide it in front of anybody. He‘d be straight up with it. And that for YEARS. (I also have to say I knew he‘d be the first guy I’d trust and no matter how often I’d tell people that him and I aren’t gonna work I KNEW he’s the one I want)

Then I ended things after we finally started hanging out a few months after simply because I was too insecure. I was so bad that after every hangout i‘d talk badly about him as in „he probably just wants one thing“ or „there’s no way he’s actually into me“ even though he was the MOST patient, gentle guy. I just constantly talked badly about him because of my own insecurities and my view of men.

Then I ended it because other people told me to… because I was telling them a version of him that didn’t even exist.

And then he turned into this guy that ignored me. Walked past me. Literally had me beg for him and he‘d just tell me „I don’t want a relationship“ even though he clearly wanted one with me and was ALWAYS saying it. (After I ended things I realised how deep my ACTUAL feelings are for him)

So now I’m wondering. For the years he showed up as this perfect guy (I was also very obsessed with him during this time like ALWAYS!! I was deeply in love but just refused to acknowledge it) was he just showing up as that version because THATS just what I knew him as? There obviously wasn’t any hurt before so I just constantly viewed it as normal that he‘d show this immense interest (even though I couldn’t believe someone would ever be interested in me. But it was just NORMAL to me that HE was because that’s just what was happening??? And it became more and more because the thought of him, for example, asking me out was just something normal to me?)

And then afterwards, the cold and distant version, when a month before he became all that I was constantly speaking and thinking horribly about him and the situation in general, did he show up as that version because of THAT?

Im genuinely wondering.

And how would I be getting the first version back? I’m obviously not that person anymore that I used to be during the years he was so obsessed with. I love myself now. Genuinely. But now it just obviously doesn’t feel as natural to me anymore to view him as the guy that constantly asks me out or calls me his wife because there’s this OTHER version of him I know.

so a little something I’ve been wondering.

i know two versions of my sp.

The one that was genuinely interested in me for YEARS. Obsessed. Sweet. Gentle. Asking me out for over a year and not giving up. Calling me his wife in front of other people.

And then the one after I ended things because I was too insecure. Cold. Ignoring. Walking past me. ME chasing HIM.

My question.. during the time he was openly into me I had a low self concept. But I was living my life. I wasn’t constantly checking time (saying this because this is something I struggle with ever since consciously manifesting) but I just lived and let it all be a beautiful process. Even with a LOW self concept I always had this „I’m never settling for less I know I want the kind of love that you‘d find in Rom-coms“ thought. I always been told I’ll never find someone because of my standards. (Until him)
and again when I say this man was INTO me, I mean it. He wouldn’t hide it in front of anybody. He‘d be straight up with it. And that for YEARS. (I also have to say I knew he‘d be the first guy I’d trust and no matter how often I’d tell people that him and I aren’t gonna work I KNEW he’s the one I want)

Then I ended things after we finally started hanging out a few months after simply because I was too insecure. I was so bad that after every hangout i‘d talk badly about him as in „he probably just wants one thing“ or „there’s no way he’s actually into me“ even though he was the MOST patient, gentle guy. I just constantly talked badly about him because of my own insecurities and my view of men.

Then I ended it because other people told me to… because I was telling them a version of him that didn’t even exist.

And then he turned into this guy that ignored me. Walked past me. Literally had me beg for him and he‘d just tell me „I don’t want a relationship“ even though he clearly wanted one with me and was ALWAYS saying it. (After I ended things I realised how deep my ACTUAL feelings are for him)

So now I’m wondering. For the years he showed up as this perfect guy (I was also very obsessed with him during this time like ALWAYS!! I was deeply in love but just refused to acknowledge it) was he just showing up as that version because THATS just what I knew him as? There obviously wasn’t any hurt before so I just constantly viewed it as normal that he‘d show this immense interest (even though I couldn’t believe someone would ever be interested in me. But it was just NORMAL to me that HE was because that’s just what was happening??? And it became more and more because the thought of him, for example, asking me out was just something normal to me?)

And then afterwards, the cold and distant version, when a month before he became all that I was constantly speaking and thinking horribly about him and the situation in general, did he show up as that version because of THAT?

Im genuinely wondering.

And how would I be getting the first version back? I’m obviously not that person anymore that I used to be during the years he was so obsessed with. I love myself now. Genuinely. But now it just obviously doesn’t feel as natural to me anymore to view him as the guy that constantly asks me out or calls me his wife because there’s this OTHER version of him I know.

I thought this was something I moved past. But every single time things feel good, I start expecting something to happen.

Let’s say things are going good with SP for a few days, the weekend rolls around and I’m like “oh yes, this weekend something has to happen, right? He has to reach out?” and i genuinely don’t know HOW to stop. Or even just smaller things like my friend would ask me to hang out and I’m immediately expecting her to invite HIM as well and making a whole story about it. (Because she invited him multiple times already and he is also a friend of hers)

And that’s when I usually start to feel incredibly impatient. Have the urge to reach out. do SOMETHING. I’m very good at spending time by myself and usually enjoy it, but then I have times that I’m like “wish I wasn’t alone right now.” And those usually happen WHEN I expect him to reach out.

I noticed that every time I’d completely let that go (usually when I was horribly sad because something unfavourable happened and just HAD to let go) he’d move towards me. Then I’d spiral again for weeks and when I come out of that spiralling, I’d think “the time I wasn’t so focused on the timing he’d ask me to hangout? So now I just have to force that feeling again!!!” JUST because I think that’ll make him reach out again not because it’s the actual state I should be in.

Genuinely be as brutal and honest, I need the advice.

I thought this was something I moved past. But every single time things feel good, I start expecting something to happen.

Let’s say things are going good with SP for a few days, weekend rolls around, I’m like “oh yes, this weekend something has to happen, right? He has to reach out?” and i genuinely don’t know HOW to stop. Or even just smaller things like my friend would mention us hanging out again and I’m immediately expecting her to invite HIM as well and making a whole story about it. (Because she invited him multiple times already and he is also a friend of hers)

And that’s when I usually start to feel incredibly impatient. Have the urge to reach out. do SOMETHING. I’m very good at spending time by myself and usually enjoy it, but then I have times that I’m like “wish I wasn’t alone right now.” And those usually happen WHEN I expect him to reach out.

Genuinely be as brutal and honest, I need the advice.

I thought this was something I moved past. But every single time things feel good, I start expecting something to happen.

Let’s say things are going good with SP for a few days, weekend rolls around, I’m like “oh yes, this weekend something has to happen, right? He has to reach out?” and i genuinely don’t know HOW to stop. Or even just smaller things like my friend would mention us hanging out again and I’m immediately expecting her to invite HIM as well and making a whole story about it. (Because she invited him multiple times already and he is also a friend of hers)

Genuinely be as brutal and honest, I need the advice.

i started to really FULLY lock in around three weeks ago but yesterday my SP told me EXACTLY the opposite to my affirmations. I‘ve already been manifesting this man for the past eight months and it’s been a long journey. (But it was a LOT of wavering and my SC was real bad) So three weeks ago I saw this post on here that inspired me so much about how you don’t have to do much BUT just control your thinking. Feelings are just feelings, your thoughts are what’s important. Inner conversations. Stick to your affirmations bla bla bla. Ever since then, I’ve been doing that. obviously one of my affirmations is like „we‘re in a committed, healthy relationship“ along with a lot of other ones. Yesterday I asked him if this is just hooking up for him and he said „you know I don‘t want a relationship“ it threw me off for the first five minutes but i immediately started to feel… okay?? it does sting and every here and there a negative thought creeps in. The thing is my SP and I have known each other for yeeeeaaars now. There’s so much history. He‘s been always obsessed with me. I was the one to end things because I was too insecure and complicated during that time. After that he even told me that yes he wanted a relationship with me. But that was over a year ago. Now it just sometimes feels like I can’t get the version back that was READY to commit to me before I ended things. Last year when I tried getting him back over and over again (I didn’t know about manifesting during that time yet) he would tell me stuff like „i can‘t do relationships“ or that I would find someone better. Obviously I let these things completely go. especially because I KNOW there was another version of him before. He’s my coworker so I feel like this makes everything a whole lot harder because i see him ALL the time. But now we’re at a point again where other coworkers are constantly asking if we’re together because of the way he acts around me and with me. Honestly I’m just CONFUSED. Even when I started manifesting him back and we hung out for the first time again around six months ago, there was something different compared to yesterday. He told me back then that he WANTED to stay overnight (he made it very obvious but I didn’t ask him because I was too scared) and yesterday I did ask him if he wants to stay and he was like “I don’t like waking up at a different place” that’s why I kinda got mad and asked him the whole if he just wants to hook up thing. It feels like I’m going BACKWARDS.

i started to really FULLY lock in around three weeks ago but yesterday my SP told me EXACTLY the opposite to my affirmations. I‘ve already been manifesting this man for the past eight months and it’s been a long journey. So three weeks ago I saw this post on here that inspired me so much about how you don’t have to do much BUT just control your thinking. Feelings are just feelings, your thoughts are what’s important. Inner conversations. Stick to your affirmations bla bla bla. Ever since then, I’ve been doing that. obviously one of my affirmations is like „we‘re in a committed, healthy relationship“ along with a lot of other ones. Yesterday I asked him if this is just hooking up for him and he said „you know I don‘t want a relationship“ it threw me off for the first five minutes but i immediately started to feel… okay?? it does sting and every here and there a negative thought creeps in. The thing is my SP and I have known each other for yeeeeaaars now. There’s so much history. He‘s been always obsessed with me. I was the one to end things because I was too insecure and complicated during that time. After that he even told me that yes he wanted a relationship with me. But that was over a year ago. Now it just sometimes feels like I can’t get the version back that was READY to commit to me before I ended things. Last year when I tried getting him back over and over again (I didn’t know about manifesting during that time yet) he would tell me stuff like „i can‘t do relationships“ or that I would find someone better. Obviously I let these things completely go. especially because I KNOW there was another version of him before. He’s my coworker so I feel like this makes everything a whole lot harder because i see him ALL the time. But now we’re at a point again where other coworkers are constantly asking if we’re together because of the way he acts around me and with me. Honestly I’m just CONFUSED.