u/acidroots77

(15F) guys when I try to ignore the thoughts, I feel relief for a few moments. then i think about my loss of attraction to men pre hocd, i never found them aesthetically pleasing which makes me so anxious and nervous, I always had crushes on fictional anime boys and never developed attraction on fictional girls or irl girls but I read somewhere that fictional crushes don't count, also when I had a bf I barely found him attractive but having crushes felt so good, but it just sounds like denial to me and i really don't know what to do cause everyone here developed loss of attraction after hocd while mine was pre hocd, and even typing this makes me mad cause I know im deep in denial, also I read that this might have been demisexuality but I don't want to label myself or associate with lgbtq stuff.

hey so i’ve been dealing with ocd thoughts about my sexual orientation for almost three weeks now, and it feels like it’s been getting worse every day.

in the first couple of weeks, i kept searching reddit and google for answers but nothing really helped. before this started, i sometimes had a mild sense of attraction toward women, but i never really wanted to date them or be in a relationship. i also never really related to lgbtq content or felt connected to it. at the same time, i don’t think i was ever really attracted to men based on appearance either, but i did have a boyfriend (online tho) and always considered myself straight and i was comfortable with that.

now over the past few weeks, i feel like my mind keeps telling me that i must not be straight, and that i'm actually a lesbian in denial. whenever i go outside, i suddenly get thoughts that i’m attracted to every woman i see, or that i want to be in a relationship with them. But this feels very different from how i used to feel, where I didn’t really notice women in that way at all.

my mind also keeps telling me that even my past feelings for boyfriend/boy crushes were just obsessive thoughts or self suggestion, which is really distressing. i keep questioning whether what i’m experiencing is ocd or just denial, and that thought really scares me.

It feels like if i just accept these thoughts and feelings, it would mean i’ve actually been in love with women all along and i also find myself thinking that maybe I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with a woman, and that if i did, i might actually get emotionally attached or fall in love. that possibility really scares me because it makes everything feel real.

that’s why i honestly don’t know whether this is hocd or i'm just a loser teen in denial.

hey chat, so recently my hocd (hoping it is) got so bad to the point i'm fully convinced that I'm a lesbian and never felt anything for men. the idea of being with men grossed me out this week and I no longer can picture myself with a man and seems like I only want women. I keep asking myself questions and test myself but it genuinely seems like I'm in denial because everytime I see a pretty woman i like want to be with her even though before all this I never wanted girls, but the loss of attraction for boys pre hocd was still there. i really can't calm down nowadays because I'm not sure whether this is truly hocd or i simply fooled myself and everyone, if i accept that I'm lesbian or bi I'm sure that I'll turn into one and i know it. even if i recover from this I still have to accept this bitter truth which makes me panic, I'm just in denial. life feels so meaningless, i can't feel happy, i can't enjoy anything and everything seems so forced to me, i just miss my life before june and i truly feel alone on this, i deep down know that this isn't hocd and it makes me worse, I know that once I'll accept this I'll be into girls and there's no way that this isn't true.

is loss of attraction pre hocd normal/common? like you barely felt aesthetical attraction towards your preferred sex? (sorry if i post too much i just can't cope with this "hocd or denial" thing.)

hey so, about this whole "denial" thing i keep reading that if you're afraid of being gay/lesbian because of your friends or family you're in denial, and at some point i'm also afraid of being one because of this as well, what do yall think about this?

everything feels so real, it's almost making me throw up. compared to other days, it's getting worse and worse and i no longer can tolerate it, even talking to my therapist isn't helping because fully convinced that I'm a lesbian and that I've been fooling myself the whole time, there's no way that I'm straight because the loss of attraction towards men pre hocd and during it scares me like shit, my experience sounds like none of yall and it's truly killing me. the idea of being in love with another woman is starting to sound pleasing and after analysing my past i found so much evidence that proves that i'm simply in denial and i that i simply weren't aware of my sexuality. i can't sleep, i can't eat and i constantly have stomachache because i don't know what to do with all these feelings, the concept of denial is genuinely ruining me and i simply want to be straight, no i don't want to find out about my "true" suppressed feelings, i just want to be my happy self, i can't tell what was real in the past and what was not, no matter how much i try to ignore it, i still feel like I'm either bi or a closeted lesbian and even thinking of being one kills me, this feeling is not going away and i feel like I'm in hell.

i feel like if i accept this I'll turn bi/lesbian because i know that i will become one and i constantly keep having false crushes on my female friends and i imagine myself being attached to them and loving them and it's not js some "guess" i think of it because it's true and i almost want to throw up from it. like ocd can't make you believe that you're emotionally into girls, it just can't. and I'm fully convinced that it can't. I feel like I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm not lesbian even though i probably am and i can't do shit about it, fuck my life genuinely. i feel so different from all of you and i feel like i don't have hocd, i don't how to explain these feelings but they're genuinely so similar to the one's that lesbians or bi people around me experience

hey so i’ve been dealing with ocd thoughts about my sexual orientation for almost three weeks now, and it feels like it’s been getting worse every day.

in the first couple of weeks, i kept searching reddit and google for answers but nothing really helped. before this started, i sometimes had a mild sense of attraction toward women, but i never really wanted to date them or be in a relationship. i also never really related to lgbtq content or felt connected to it. at the same time, i don’t think i was ever really attracted to men based on appearance either, but i did have a boyfriend (online tho) and always considered myself straight and i was comfortable with that.

now over the past few weeks, i feel like my mind keeps telling me that i must not be straight, and that i'm actually a lesbian in denial. whenever i go outside, i suddenly get thoughts that i’m attracted to every woman i see, or that i want to be in a relationship with them. But this feels very different from how i used to feel, where I didn’t really notice women in that way at all.

my mind also keeps telling me that even my past feelings for boyfriend/boy crushes were just obsessive thoughts or self suggestion, which is really distressing. i keep questioning whether what i’m experiencing is ocd or just denial, and that thought really scares me.

It feels like if i just accept these thoughts and feelings, it would mean i’ve actually been in love with women all along and i also find myself thinking that maybe I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with a woman, and that if i did, i might actually get emotionally attached or fall in love. that possibility really scares me because it makes everything feel real.

that’s why i honestly don’t know whether this is hocd or i'm just a loser teen in denial.

can ocd make you feel like you're into girls both emotionally and sexually? before hocd i had these feelings towards girls but never took them seriously and never wanted to be with them, but rn i feel like I'm attracted to them even though i can't imagine myself with a woman like that and i just feel like it's not ocd and I'm js in denial because of this, and honestly it ruins my day because everytime i read some posts on here, none of the creators had the same experience as me and i truly feel alone on this, because i was really secure in my orientation but right now i can't even make female friends without my mind constantly telling me that i'm into them or i have a crush on them.

hey so i've been struggling with this theme for almost 1 month now and it's the fourth time that i'm experiencing it, but suddenly they all flare up and everything gets worse than before. this time, it's targeting my feelings. before this, i rarely felt physically attracted by men even though i never had feelings for girls either, i decided to search it up and google told me that it might be "demisexuality" which made me panic, then i started to get some false feelings about girls which made it worse, at first i was completely convinced that i was a lesbian which made me cry and i lost my appetite completely for almost 2 weeks and couldn't sleep properly (i woke up each time during it and sweat like crazy from stress) after days passed i started to analyse my past and my feelings to see whether i feel anything for men or not, and when i didn't feel anything it made it worse. also my brain kept telling me that my past relationships with men were fake and they were "intrusive" thoughts that i took seriously, after i talked to my therapist i was lowk relieved for at least a few days but it came back with much more force, but this time i didn't feel anxious, didn't get stressed and eventually, i was fully convinced that i was a lesbian and that my previous orientation was simply a silly teenage "phase" which ruins me. my problem is mainly my feelings, cause as i said even before all these thoughts i barely felt attraction towards men (physically) even though i never felt anything like "love" towards girls and even had a bf and always were secure in my orientation. but it made me believe that i were never straight and that i'm in denial or i'm simply fooling myself even when i'm trying to ignore this, but i genuinely don't know what to believe anymore cause i don't want to lose my identity and question my orientation, even lgbtq related stuff triggers me. (plus i'm a teen)