Need to stop obsessing and relax! (Potential trigger warning)
I apologise for this stream of consciousness but it’s feeling good to just type this all out.
Warning that if mentions of complication worries or time taken to conceive are triggers for you, feel more than free to stop here 🙂
I am 6 weeks along and dear god is the 1st trimester stressful! Im sure plenty of people will relate to this part, but I just can’t stop hyper fixating on every single thing that could go wrong!
Cramp that sometimes pops up on left side- could be an ect0pic. Got a tummy bug everyone and their nans has caught this time of year- must monitor my temp constantly to make sure it’s not dangerous and ensure I’m constantly drinking water etc etc…
I can either be the most chill laid back person someone knows or the biggest stress head- no inbetween! But pregnancy and no doubt the raging hormones is bringing the worst out of me!
I think a lot of my problem comes down to how quickly I got pregnant in the first place (ironically from “trying” early due to a fear of struggling to conceive!). It’s making me feel it’s too good to be true, I don’t “deserve” an easy healthy pregnancy and something is bound to go wrong.
And as a side effect of me becoming pregnant so imminently, I had a lot of surplus tests leftover that I’ve been using compulsively to monitor how quick the line turns and how dark. Im annoyed as I thought I used my last one as a ritual to ditch this habit as I know it’s useless at the 6 week mark, but I found one more in my cupboard! Make it stop!
And secondly I think I’ve just been scaremongered by stats and horror stories.
Just very anxiously awaiting the first appointment which can’t come soon enough however it goes! I just wish I was one of those people who is joyful and happy all along their pregnancy and not worrying about every little thing- especially things that haven’t even happened. It’s stopping me getting attached in order to protect myself but in reality it’s like it’s doing anything but