u/adrauglikeyou

I’m 25M and roommate is 27M. I’ve known this guy for years throughout college and before moving in with him, I’d describe him as part of my “core” friend group with 2 other people.

Moved in with about about 2 years ago, and we were both finishing up college. We both had either started late or changed majors and had a couple of bad semesters, and he graduated this past December. We both are in a different area from the state from “home”. Since he graduated in December and was looking for a job and needed help with the rent and didn’t want to immediately move back home, he decided to stay at our college apartment and look for a job. This worked out since I was graduating this spring and needed a roommate/help with the rent regardless. He had a part time minimum wage job for most of the spring and then about a month ago actually got hired at a full time job relating to his degree up here, which he told me at the time he planned on working at for a year.

The original plan was that I would stay until I graduated and leave sometime and move back in my with my mom in June. However, my brother lives in this area and started a company recently and needs help because he’s pretty much a one person show at the moment. Additionally, I’ve had a part time job at a lakeside restaurant throughout college which gets really, really busy during the summer and is good money. A guy I know who works there full time cleared $30k June-August one year. So I could take on more hours there and help out my brother a few times a week and make some decent cash while I’m looking for a job out of college relating to my degree. I have a place back home that I know I could instantly work at if I moved back, but it’s only minimum wage and has really shitty hours of 10-3am which sucks, plus I’d be living with my mom which nobody my age wants to do.

So I brought this up to my roommate a week ago and he didn’t seem pleased. He said he had been expecting me to move out by now and had been planning on that for the past few months. He then brought up that we both trash the apartment, and that if I were to stay it would need to be changed. Our place isn’t a pigsty, but we’re both single men who were in frats. So, the dishes didn’t always get done and we both would leave trash out from food packaging for a couple days, etc. Wasnt great, but it was something we both did, there’s been times I’d clean shit and be annoyed he made it dirty and vice versa. Anyways, whatever, we both agreed we’d have a big day where’d we clean the entire apartment together and keep it that way. Since then we’ve both been working so it hasn’t happened yet but it was still on my radar. Regardless, we reached a conclusion I could stay we’d just both, as roommates and friends, try to upkeep shit a bit more

Then yesterday he sent me a text that he wanted to “meet me halfway” and said that he could let me stay here until July, and that he needed my room to “stage the move out” for when he eventually moves out. 1) this contradicts what we already agreed to earlier 2) it makes no sense that you need to move things into my room, to then move them out whenever he does move out. I’ve moved out of 2-3 larger full on houses (we only have a 2 bedroom small apartment) in my college years with full furniture and everything with roommates which took 2-3 days and never needed to “stage” the move out. I’d just move the shit out, put it in the moving truck, and move. Regardless, his plan to move out would put him in fall/winter, and I’m only wanting to stay for 2 more months, so if he really did need a staging area he’d have it regardless

It really aggravated and hurt me. I told him that the whole staging out thing makes no sense, and that if he just wanted me to move out he should just say it rather than coming up with some nonsensical excuse. I said that I think it’s unfair that when he got to graduate he was able to enjoy having the bills 1/2 payed for while he was looking for a job straight out of college, and that it’s unfair that a week after college graduation he’s trying to push me out and not afford the same courtesy, especially since I stressed to him the opportunity to make money I’d have by staying up here just a couple months over the summer. I ended with saying that it’s just super shitty and unfair of him, and that we’ve lived together for years and the least he could do as my friend is allow me to 1)help my brother out 2) make some money while I still can.

Since that happened yesterday evening I’ve avoided him today, ignored his calls and texts and been out of the house when I know he’s there. I’m just hurt and annoyed by it all and don’t know how to confront or move forward with it.