u/aedsollll

Written by u/FrontFaith74

If you think you can pair modesty with whatever is fashionable and call it hijab, then sadly, you have not understood the concept of modesty that Allah تعالى commanded.

Hijab is not just placing a scarf on your head while wearing jeans, a fitted abaya that outlines the body or leaving the chest uncovered. The clothing itself has conditions . It should cover properly , be loose rather than tight, be thick and non-transparent and not be designed in a way that attracts attention . It should also not resemble men's clothing or be a garment of fame and display.

The Prophet ﷺ warned about women who would be “ clothed yet naked .” The problem today is that the hijab has slowly become an aesthetic.

A fitted abaya is called modest, a half-niqab becomes an accessory and covering a few parts is enough to label the whole outfit as a hijab.

But calling something hijab does not make it hijab.

And this becomes even more concerning when influencers turn these styles into something young Muslim women want to imitate. Because hijab is not a trend to follow. It is an act of obedience .

So don't let social media teach you what hijab is. Learn it from the Qur’an and Sunnah.

(My commentary will be in the comments ان شاء الله)

(reupload)

for the sisters who were asking if there are brothers who genuinely want monogamous marriage or have a healthy perception of polygyny as it's meant to be, there are many, i know many brothers in my group who are like this, may الله bless our sisters with goodness

the issue isn't polygyny sisters, this is from the sharee'ah and it is beautiful, and it is obligatory to affirm it, i know many of you don't have an issue with this, may الله protect us from those who have tam'yee and those whom adopt the corrupt ideologies of the modern day

the problem is we have many unhealthy, toxic, entitled brothers who not only not have poor character and deen nor meet the shari' conditions of polygyny, but worse, is looking purely for sexual variety instead of having a pure intention to marry, care for and love and respect another daughter of aadam, they see polygyny purely as a sexual thing, and may الله protect us from this

this is objectifying women, in a sense that no one would want for their own womenfolk, which is why it astonishes me as a brother how these brothers feel comfortable with no ha'yaa expressing this unhealthy perception of marriage

may الله preserve the ustadh, but i think he is still not being balanced and being biased as he is a man, so he naturally sympathises with the brothers who are complaining with no basis whilst ignoring the valid plight of the sisters who aren't rejecting polygyny from the religion, but don't personally want it for themselves or clearly see the problem with alot of men today who covet it

i am a brother, i eat healthily and i am physically fit and healthy, so naturally i have desires, as shy as i am to say it, high desires, and i say this to show you, but that doesn't prevent me from lowering my gaze and taking the means to avoid that which will lead to not doing so, and more importantly it does not make my primary intention of marriage to satisfy my desires

marriage is much much complex than to simplify it to sexual intimacy

this is a very self centered perception, as one sister commented, what of the sister who herself had a high libido yet her husband marries a second wife, and now she is left alone without her husband for some days? does she now say to her husband even though she is rightly entitled to him, that she cannot wait and fears zina, so she will divorce and marry another man? these brothers would flare with anger if a sister ever had the "audacity" to do such a thing, but for them it's fine?

you see how problematic this logic is when that is the basis of marriage?

no one is saying it is bad to want sexual intimacy, it is completely healthy and both men and women want it, yes brother you're not special, you aren't the only one with a high libido, but we are not animals, we are human beings with intellect and emotions who are able to have empathy and understanding for others

so where is this when it comes to this regard?
maybe the reason why the sister was so concerned despite being of the advanced students is because it's a real problem?
سبحان الله

even good sisters are being told they are not welcome to these valid feelings

how is this feminist behaviour or rhetoric?

if a sister was saying something related to sexual intimacy in this way she would be told off and it would be said about her she has no shyness
why the double standard?

it is important that we have empathy for the sisters, and we listen to them and heed to their words, for ignoring a sister simply due to a lack of understanding and ignorance as to dismiss her feelings as being from "desires" or "western corruption" is extremely hurtful, problematic and false

if you genuinely want polygyny as a brother, my advice for you is to go and learn the correct healthy perception of marriage, have gheerah for your women and be in service for them, emotionally, financially, physically (this doesn't not purely mean sexual), you are the qawwam, so make her feel safe with you, speak kind words to her, let her rest on her periods, help her around the house and this is not from deficiency in manhood as shaykh sulaymaan ar ruhayli حفظه الله has said, beautify yourself for her, speak to her with the best of words for she is like blessed rain after the drought ya ikhwa, shaykh saalih al fawzaan حفظه الله said one is not truly happy as a man until he is married سبحان الله, leant about women's health and pregnancy and postpartum, leant these things ya ikhwa, for this is one of the faults of the husbands as shaykh muhammad saeed raslaan حفظه الله said
learn to be a good husband and you will have no issues with your wives, this is a fact, if you marry someone who is not unhealthy

read how the prophet ﷺ, the best of creation treated his wives, read how the companions used to treat their wives, like uthmaan and talha رضي الله عنهم, correct your intentions and your mannerisms and indeed by the will of الله your own wife will encourage you herself out of security and satisfaction if she knows and you have discussed with her that you look for it

such is the condition of one of the brothers whom i heard about two weeks ago in my group whom سبحان الله is very well off, enough to facilitate four wives, but didn't, he had a good marriage with his wife, and now three years on in their marriage his wife is so pleased she wants another sister to be able to experience what she is, and began searching for a second wife for him, this is true, he is only in his mid twenties and is in london with us اللهم بارك

so let this serve as example for you, take marriage as the duty that it is and discard of this toxic notions in your minds

shaykh ibn uthaymeen رحمه الله said:

"some men treat their wives as butlers. they have them only for intercourse and services. they speak to them in a bad way and look down upon them too. they then want the wives to be good to them."
'al-liqa' ash-shahri' (no. 40)

heed to the words of shaykh ibn uthaymeen رحمه الله and reflect upon your condition, are you like this also?

that being said, i think one brother here is completely right to admonish the sisters, sometimes their standards are too high, and may reject very good and healthy brothers purely because he is one or two inches shorter, this needs to be something sisters reflect upon, it is completely okay to have standards but remember to keep it within reason,

احسن الله إليكم