u/algumdianaterra

I (M21) have been dealing with Real Event OCD for a long time, and since I started dating, the OCD has calmed down considerably, and I've been able to maintain a good relationship with my girlfriend. However, since we started dating, I've been afraid to expose myself with her online. Every time I post a photo, I think every single day if someone will expose me because of what I did when I was 19, and I constantly check the post to see if anyone has commented or said anything like that. Even though I know it's all due to OCD, I still feel anxious because I want to overcome this fear and live a normal life with my girlfriend, however difficult it may be.

Any advice on how I can stop worrying so much about this? It's hell, I don't want my girlfriend to stop showing us together to the world, but I'm still scared.

I had sex with my girlfriend and it was great, however, we made the mistake of going without a condom or birth control, so we ended up without any protection, and I'm not sure if I ejaculated inside her, but I'm still afraid I might have and not realized it. Less than 30 minutes after we finished, I bought Levonorgestrel and gave it to her to take. Is there any risk of her getting pregnant?

My past is quite troubled, and for the past year I've been struggling with immense guilt and fear regarding horrible things I did when I was 19, things I constantly think about and that have practically ruined my life.

The problem is that I'm in therapy, but the therapist isn't specialized in OCD, and even though I've told her everything, I feel like I can't fight my OCD and haven't made any progress with Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy (ERP), I haven't even started it.

I thought about seeking a therapist specialized in OCD, but I won't be able to tell her everything that happened, and that worries me because I don't know how to deal with OCD and I'm suffering a lot because of all this.

Can I start ERP on my own?

Alguem que passa pelo mesmo problema que eu? Infelizmente minha vida foi muito turbulenta de 2024 pra cá, e desde entao tenho sofrido com isso ultimamente. Ja tenho TOC de limpeza e outros, mas esse é o que mais me incomoda e mais atrapalha minha vida, pois eu nao consigo viver bem com isso. Isolamento, paranoia, culpa, medo, tudo isso tem feito parte da minha vida e eu nao sei lidar com isso, principalmente sabendo como a sociedade funciona. Me sinto perdido, como se tivesse jogado minha vida fora

(M21)My life since childhood has been very turbulent, and from a very young age I did bad things that I regret day after day. Nowadays, I find myself extremely cornered because I have OCD and borderline personality disorder, so the guilt and fear are tripled. This year I discovered a malignant cancer (a tumor in the retroperitoneum), and there's a chance it could kill me, and I hope it does, because I've already suffered too much in this life, and I don't want to suffer anymore. I don't want to deal with my mind, I don't want to deal with my guilt, my fears, my insecurities, and my paranoia. I just want to be able to rest in a grave where I will never suffer again. I sound radical saying this, but I've tried to take my own life several times, and now that I've discovered this cancer, I wish from the bottom of my heart that I will die from it, because I don't deserve to live.

I've suffered from various OCDs for as long as I can remember, and since last year I've been suffering from Real Event OCD because of two bad things I did when I was 19. Since then, my life has revolved around thinking about what I did, how bad it was, how much I deserve all bad, and the fear of it being exposed someday. This has also been affecting my relationship.

I met a girl a few months ago and we started dating, but my OCD has been getting in the way the whole time. When I talk to her, I feel like I don't deserve her and I feel like I won't have her forever because I feel like she deserves someone better, and because I'm afraid everything will come to light.

I don't know what to do anymore. Having this kind of OCD makes me want to isolate myself from everything and everyone, it makes me want to give up on having a life with someone, even though I deeply love the person.

I really want a light, because I don't want to lose it. I want to live the life

(M21)I've suffered from various OCDs for as long as I can remember, and since last year I've been suffering from Real Event OCD because of two bad things I did when I was 19. Since then, my life has revolved around thinking about what I did, how bad it was, how much I deserve all bad, and the fear of it being exposed someday. This has also been affecting my relationship.

I met a girl a few months ago and we started dating, but my OCD has been getting in the way the whole time. When I talk to her, I feel like I don't deserve her and I feel like I won't have her forever because I feel like she deserves someone better, and because I'm afraid everything will come to light.

I don't know what to do anymore. Having this kind of OCD makes me want to isolate myself from everything and everyone, it makes me want to give up on having a life with someone, even though I deeply love the person.

I really want a light, because I don't want to lose it. I want to live the life

Eu tenho 21 anos e sempre trabalhei de forma braçal (logistica, roça, fazenda etc) e eu descobri uma doença muito grave na qual me impossibilita de trabalhar de forma braçal e de arrumar quaisquer empregos, pois eu tenho que fazer tomografias, ressonancias e em breve farei radioterapia e quimioterapia, entao agora eu só tenho ficado em casa parado e com um computador considerado bom, porém nao entendo de programação, edição eu sei apenas pelo celular e design eu sei bem pouco, e tambem nao sei vender esses produtos por nunca ter precisado fazer isso para ganhar dinheiro, ou seja, como eu posso começar?

I'm 21 years old, and when I was 19, I made the worst mistakes of my life, which I deeply regret. Honestly, without any exaggeration, it's the worst mistake compared to others I've seen related to Real event OCD. I truly feel completely lost and hopeless because these two mistakes I made simply make me feel extremely guilty, keep me stuck in the past, and terrify me with fear of being exposed and losing everything in life.

I've been in therapy for two years, and my therapist said I need to allow myself to live life and experience good things, but I can't do anything new without thinking about how awful I was and how serious my mistakes were. And no matter how much I continue with therapy, I can't. I still feel fear, I feel guilt, I feel an overwhelming urge to end it all at once.

I really don't know what to do anymore, I feel lost, I feel like my life is over, I feel like I have nothing left to do but wait for the day I'll pay for everything I've done and lose everything and everyone.

Honestly, what do I do? I don't want to end my life, but I see that I've completely ruined it

In 2023 I had a neoplasm in the retroperitoneum, and in the same year I was able to have surgery that helped me beat the cancer. However, it returned, and this time it came back more aggressively, affecting vital organs. Therefore, I will have to undergo radiotherapy and chemotherapy.

I don't know what will happen from now on, but I'm afraid, very afraid of dying young. I'm 21 years old, I haven't lived enough yet, and having to face the same tumor, but this time more aggressive, makes me desperate because I want to live, I want to travel, have my farm, my motorcycle, a wedding, I want to enjoy life, but the cancer has made me live in constant agony, between life and death.

How can I deal with this better?