u/alx_swae

Overcoming pre-conceived notions in my new identity..

Hi. M19 here. Not sure to call myself bi, because i prefer unlabeled better but, whatever, close enough.

So i grew up in a pretty black and white world, which definitely expanded to my idea of sexuality. I found out i liked guys by age 9. I knew how the world felt about it. I knew what being LGBT was. I tried coming out, which led to a poor reaction. So i decided to stay partially closeted. I thought i was gay, due to my b&w mindset. I was 9, so i had no experience with romantic feelings, or the entire sexuality spectrum.

My first attraction was towards men. So i assumed that because i was a guy into guys, that means i had to be just gay, right? I knew what bi was, but i didn’t understand it, the usual “what side do you choose”? stuff. So i lived up until 17 believing i was gay. Until i started to look at myself very deeply, and explore what i had close mindedly closed off years ago.

I came out as bi to my mom at 15. She didn’t like that either, she said women are the only path for me as a male, which i obviously disagree with.

Ive found myself also attracted to women in some degree more recently, and im coming to accept that, its ok to be bi. But i still have a major male preference, i dont think that’ll change soon. Im definitely now seeing that sexuality is complex, just like humans are. But part of this discovery means that im now having to tear down the preconceived notions ive had about bi men my entire life up until now.

I used to think bi men just choose women for life, and men for fun. That many bi men don’t embrace their homosexual tendencies. That theyre more masculine than gays. Does anyone else feel the same? Have you had to deal with internalized biphobia after growing up in the gay/straight society?

I also want to marry a man in the future, and we have kids. I want to help fill this world with homosexual lifestyles, to let the next generation know its ok to be with the same gender/sex. Im also hoping to rise the same sex marriage rate in bi men lol.

Ive met very little bi guys my age. They have unfortunately filled in the stereotypes ive had. One of them told me that they feel gay relationships are “weird”. Another told me he only really is with men for now until he settles down with a woman because he wants “bio kids the right way”. Its a bit disheartening , i already experience isolation for my bisexuality, and my peers have a opposite sex preference. Please tell me there are bi men in existence that have more life in queer spaces and gay relationships/lifestyles?

For me, i have a few entries.

Age 12 - “You’re not gay, you don’t like boys.”(That ended up being half true lol)
Age 14 - “There are no gay people in this family, and you certainly won’t be the first.”
Age 14 - “Im trying to help you from being sent to hell. Do you want a broomstick shoved up your ass? Because thats what gays want.”
Age 15 - “You can’t marry a man and a woman, you have to choose one, and the woman is the right choice.” (Im not doing that)

Writing this made me realize i have a way to go. What about you guys? Anything worse? Heartbreak/romance related? Bad news?

Hi. M19 here. Not sure to call myself bi, because i prefer unlabeled better but, whatever, close enough.

So i grew up in a pretty black and white world, which definitely expanded to my idea of sexuality. I found out i liked guys by age 9. I knew how the world felt about it. I knew what being LGBT was. I tried coming out, which led to a poor reaction. So i decided to stay partially closeted. I thought i was gay, due to my b&w mindset. I was 9, so i had no experience with romantic feelings, or the entire sexuality spectrum.

My first attraction was towards men. So i assumed that because i was a guy into guys, that means i had to be just gay, right? I knew what bi was, but i didn’t understand it, the usual “what side do you choose”? stuff. So i lived up until 17 believing i was gay. Until i started to look at myself very deeply, and explore what i had close mindedly closed off years ago.

Ive found myself also attracted to women in some degree more recently, and im coming to accept that, its ok to be bi. But i still have a major male preference, i dont think that’ll change soon. Im definitely now seeing that sexuality is complex, just like humans are. But part of this discovery means that im now having to tear down the preconceived notions ive had about bi men my entire life up until now.

I used to think bi men just choose women for life, and men for fun. That many bi men don’t embrace their homosexual tendencies. That theyre more masculine than gays. Does anyone else feel the same? Have you had to deal with internalized biphobia after growing up in the gay/straight society?

And about dating. I really do want a boyfriend first, before anything. My mom hated the fact that i told her i was gay. So if i ever find a girl i love, and bring her home, i’ll be giving her the sick satisfaction. The satisfaction that her “gay son” was cured of being into men and found the right, straight life.

I feel that by being with a woman long-term, id be giving the world satisfaction. I don’t want to do that, society has never let me comfortably rest in my gay-ness, so why should i bow down to society? I want to accept my homosexuality after being denied it for so long. I also want to marry a man in the future, and we have kids. I want to help fill this world with homosexual lifestyles, to let the next generation know its ok to be with the same gender/sex. Im also hoping to rise the same sex marriage rate in bi men, lol.

I saw BBM around a week ago now. It broke my heart. Reminded me of elder queers might have gone through. Also hit a little close to home growing up in the south as a queer guy.

I saw the way jack and ennis interacted with their wives. I have to ask, did they ever even love either of them? Or were they just placeholders for what society didn’t allow? because jack and ennis were still seeing each other for 20 years, thats definitely love.

Based on my opinion, i believe ennis might be gay, and jack was likely bi. Jack was attracted to lureen, and cheated on her with ennis and the mexican male prostitute. Ennis only ever had feelings for jack, which he tried to replace with what, 3 women? And that never worked.

I dont think ennis ever loved anyone else than jack. I saw his marriage life as more of a performance. He did everything he was brought up to do, but his heart was never in it. My guess is, he didn’t love alma, or anyone else, just jack. Am i correct?

But did jack love lureen? He was definitely attracted to her, which led up to their one night stand. But love? I didn’t see much of. I saw respect in the thanksgiving scene, but love? No. Was there any love of theirs that i missed?

Hi. Unlabeled “bi” (i use that word for simplicity) 19M. Im on a lgbt dating app trying to find another guy to date. I am attracted to both men and women i see, but men are hotter and relatable to me. Ive always wanted a boyfriend first before anything. I know whats its like to be a guy whos into guys, and i want a guy who knows how that feels.

The thing is, i dont know what to put my sexuality as. Im not gay, cause i have some female attraction, but im not completely bi i guess, i dont fit the rules 100%. Plus ive heard gay man have a opposition towards dating bi men, which i 100% understand.

So, its like, what do i do? I can’t use gay, because thats lying. But using bi could maybe also hinder me from some gay guys, which i don’t want. Do i just say im bi on there? I don’t want people to think the usual “oh he’s bi he must think gay relationships aren’t serious for him” stereotypes ive heard on bi men.

Im 19, Huge no doubt fan! Went to the show on 6/10. It felt great. I noticed in my section, 102, some of us would stand, some of us wouldn’t for certain songs.

People stood up for sunday morning, dont speak, hella good, underneath it all, its my life, and just a girl. Everyone held it down for hella good. Shoutout to that tipsy country lady that was swaying to UIA.

A older man sat behind me only sat up for the bigger hits, but i could feel he might been a little upset when i stood up behind me. I felt bad in a way, but im also telling myself that A. This is probably the only time im going to see ND live, and B. It’s a ND show! You dont just sit through their music, especially not hella good.

What songs did you guys stand/dance to? Which songs did you not feel the need to get up for?

Im wondering how it was to be a gay teen in the 90’s. Im 19 and I’m in LOVE with the 90’s. The grunge movement, CD’s, men with long hair, baggy light wash jeans, doc martens, my favorite artists/songs mostly being from that era…etc. (My personal idea of 90’s mainstream)

I know it still wasn’t good for many of us, but i just want to know, how was it from the perspective of those who lived it? What did you get to experience? What did you not get to?

Hey yall. Going to go see ND on the 10th. Ive got a few questions on merch.

1. Do both places accept card/cash only? Or accept both cash AND card?

2. Is the singles clear exclusive LP still available at the pop up?

3. How long are the lines as of recently? Regarding both the pop up and merch trucks outside the sphere?

M19. Recently i left the UK after a 4 day trip, and I’m currently in France for the next few days. I’ve been trying my best to find LGBT spaces of some sort (like bars, as thats the most explicit lgbt space i can think of for guys my age in europe.) But i’ve had no luck at all. Does anyone know any spaces?

I really would like to be able to experience queer culture/spaces in europe right now.

British guys are pretty fine, by the way. But it seems like theres nobody my age in public? 😢 Everyone was either a adult or child, no teenagers. Where are they?