u/amethystbaby23456

Me female, 27 and with a man 29 male, I have a child from a previous relationship and a child with him. Me being the woman I am I’ve never looked at another man after being with him never even thought of looking or thinking of another man but ever since he’s just been making me feel like shit makes me feel ugly disgusting useless dismisses everything I’ll ever say because it’s me. My boyfriend he works a lot and I understand it, but it’s so draining walking on eggshells. We’re just literally constantly going through the motions. That’s what I feel whenever he’s home. He’s just not home barely even talks to me. He’s just on his phone 24 seven glued and yes, I did bring it up and when I brought it up. I was being a crybaby. I was jealous of this phone and that’s why I never brought it up again. I take my son to a jujutsu class and of course there are other parents that do the same thing as well but I caught myself looking at my son‘s coach because he is a very attractive man is good with kids and just overall just talks to the kids. I wish he would talk to our kids like I see some of the really handsome dads that go in there and they’re so involved with their kid they act like dad the kids wanna be around them it’s like the most attractive thing ever and I feel so guilty. I’m crying or writing this, but I wish he was the man. I thought he was. I wish she was the man that I thought he was in the beginning of our relationship so depressing I don’t wanna be looking at other men but it’s like those traits are the ones I want instead I’m with this man who doesn’t even care what’s on. My fucking mind doesn’t respect me even the way men are just nice to me. It’s so attractive and like I don’t wanna cheat on him because I’m not that kind of person but it’s like I’m yearning so bad for this attention. I barely even get touched anymore like doesn’t put his hand on my thigh. Does it hug me barely kisses me or like I’ll go in for a hug or something and be like oh you’re so sweaty or like this that it’s like bro if it was you, I wouldn’t give a fuck because it’s you. I wouldn’t care hug me sweaty hug me with dirt on you. I don’t care. I’d understand if you worked like a construction job a physical labor job but he doesn’t. He works at a smoke shop and he could sit down half the time it’s not even a fast paced. I know I shouldn’t look down on him because it’s not a labor job. A job is a job, but it’s like he was working the same hours in the beginning. Why can’t I have any attention like what’s the difference? I understand if I did something, but this is like the most drastic depressing change ever. Like I want a real relationship even like before when I was pregnant, he just told me I was being a baby after I had delivered a whole child and was bleeding out. I needed 2 bags for a blood diffusion still you would think that would be an eye opener but it’s not . I’m tired

My boyfriend’s mom F50. used to be way more involved and responsive with me, but lately she’s been ignoring me (27F) a lot. I sent her a happy birthday message and she never even responded. Around the same time she posted something about how she’s a Taurus and can “cut anyone off” easily, which honestly felt directed at me considering the timing.

Because of all this, I stopped sending her random pictures and updates of the baby. Not in a dramatic “you’ll never see the baby again” way, I just stopped going out of my way to keep contact going when I feel ignored and unwanted.

Part of me feels guilty because that’s still her grandchild, but another part of me feels embarrassed constantly reaching out to someone who barely acknowledges me anymore.

There was a situation where there was a misunderstanding between us. I kept telling her that she should talk to her son (my husband) about it directly since he is the head of our household and the one who should be handling certain things between them. After that, things between me and her started feeling more distant and tense.

Since then, she’s been pretty cold toward me, not really responding when I reach out. I even sent her a birthday message recently and she didn’t respond at all. Around the same time, she posted things online about cutting people off and being a Taurus, which honestly felt like it might be directed at me given the timing and everything else going on.

Because of all of that, I stopped sending her pictures and updates of the baby. Not out of spite or to “punish” her, but because I don’t feel the same effort or connection coming back anymore.

I feel conflicted because she is still the baby’s grandmother, but I also feel kind of ignored and drained trying to maintain contact alone.

AITA for stopping the pictures and matching the energy instead?

My son 6M. His “grandma” is 50 F, aunt 30 F and uncle 30 M.
We have been a family for about 2 years now since before I had my daughter and after.
I don’t really know where to put this, I just need to get it out because it’s been weighing on me.

There was a time when my boyfriend’s family—especially his mom (“Oma”)—was really involved in my son’s life. They used to ask about his education, check in on him, take him sometimes, and overall act like they cared and wanted to be present.

But after things got tense between me and them (and honestly after they basically pulled away from me), everything changed. Slowly at first, then suddenly they just… stopped. No more asking about school, no more check-ins, no more picking him up, nothing.

The hardest part is my son notices.

He keeps asking me things like:
“Why doesn’t Oma pick me up anymore?”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“When is she coming again?”

And I honestly don’t know what to say without breaking his heart or making him feel rejected.

Because the truth is—it’s not him. He didn’t do anything. But I also can’t explain adult drama, distance, or whatever tension happened without confusing him or making it worse.

Now I’m stuck in this space where I’m trying to protect him emotionally, while also dealing with the reality that people who were once “all about him” just disappeared from his life.

It’s painful watching him try to understand something that doesn’t make sense to him yet.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has dealt with something like this—how do you explain a sudden absence of people a child trusted, without making them feel unwanted or abandoned?

Because right now I feel like I’m constantly making up gentle answers while trying not to fall apart myself.

I (27F) am thinking about saying no when my partner’s (29M) sister asked to have our daughter for a visit. There’s been ongoing tension and a lack of respect between us and them, and I don’t feel comfortable.

Before we were even pregnant, my boyfriend had a complicated relationship with his mom. Once we found out we were expecting, he didn’t want anything to do with her—he didn’t want me to meet her or even have communication with them. In fact, he blocked them from my Facebook account so we could keep that boundary.

After that, when a miscommunication happened around a Disneyland trip, his mom just completely dropped me, stopped all contact, and passive-aggressively posted online about cutting people off. My boyfriend had warned me before about how she acts, but I didn’t fully take it seriously. Now, the tension is really high, and I don’t feel emotionally safe letting our daughter go visit, especially without clear reconciliation or apologies.

My partner is upset, saying I’m being “childish” and that this is all about the child, not the adults. He thinks I should just say yes to avoid more drama, but I feel like I’m being ignored and that my boundaries are being minimized

I (27F) said no when my partner’s (29M) family asked to have our daughter for a visit. There has been ongoing tension and disrespect between us and them, so I wasn’t comfortable with it.

My partner got upset and said I’m being “childish” and “making it about myself,” and that it’s really about the child, not the adults. He told me I should just say yes to avoid drama.

I said my decision is no for now based on everything that’s happened. He says I’m shutting down the conversation and not listening to him.
Context:

Before all of this, my boyfriend’s mom and I were actually close. We would message regularly, talk about plans, and I felt really we were included so much family things especially my 6 y/o that isn’t her sons but he treats him as is. But when the Disneyland trip came up, there was a miscommunication. She kept asking me about it, but I told her multiple times to just talk to her son directly because he’s very particular about taking certain days off—especially for important dates like our baby’s birthday. She chose not to communicate with him, and after that, she just cut me off completely. She dropped all communication, and instead of talking to me, she started posting passive-aggressive things online—like, as a 50-year-old woman, acting like a high schooler—bragging that she could cut people off without saying a word because she’s a Taurus. Her son had actually warned me before about how she acts, but I didn’t listen. After that, things just got really tense, and now I’m left trying to navigate this sudden silence and exclusion.

AITA for sticking to my decision?

I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (29M) for years and lately I feel emotionally exhausted and honestly kind of numb. Yesterday was another breaking point for me.

We got into an argument after I responded to him with attitude because I was already frustrated and overwhelmed. He immediately escalated it and started talking to me aggressively, telling me to “watch the way” I respond and basically throwing my own words back at me. He compares me to my dad during arguments because my dad and I also have a strained relationship, and it feels like he uses that against me whenever we fight.

What hurts the most is that I don’t even feel wanted anymore. Our sex life has been getting worse for a long time and I’ve tried to ignore it, but it’s making me lose attraction to him. I miss when he used to actually care about how I felt physically and emotionally. Now I feel lonely even when he’s right next to me. I caught myself wishing he would treat me the way men in videos or movies treat their partners and that realization made me feel horrible.

I’ve also been trying REALLY hard to control my anger and reactions because I’m a mom and I don’t want my kids growing up around screaming or violence. I’ve improved a lot compared to how I used to react, but somehow I still end up being painted as the bad guy or “ungrateful.”

At this point I honestly don’t even want to talk to him anymore. I feel drained and disconnected. Part of me thinks he deserves someone better because I’m clearly unhappy, but another part of me feels like I’ve been emotionally neglected for so long that I’ve just shut down.

AITA for emotionally checking out and questioning the relationship?