u/an9medina

EDIT: boyfriend did reassure that he in fact is fully attracted to me for me, that he overlooks the tattoos bc it’s me and they become insignificant bc of me even if it is his preference. Also thanks me that I was able to communicate this to him as opposed to further shutting down. THANKS EVERYONE WHO ENCOURAGED ME TO JUST TALK TO HIM.
My boyfriend told me on our one year anniversary of meeting that he isn’t a fan of my tattoos. I know it sounds silly but I like my boyfriend a lot so counting the actual date when I met him makes sense at to me. I didn’t get him anything crazy or expensive but I did make him something with my own hands which meant a lot at least to me because I’m a pretty busy working professional with 3 pets who is often crunched on time so taking hours of my day to do an arts and craft type of thing was my way of showing him that I really care instead of just getting an expensive gift (nothing wrong with that either but I just wanted to make something special)
Anyway, we met up for a quick dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and later drinks at the exact bar where we first met. My boyfriend wasn’t aware of our outing being the date when we met, but I wanted to surprise him with what I made him and also remind him as I knew he would have no idea, he thought it was just a routined weekly date as we have every week.
We get done with dinner and as we sit outside the restaurant planning our next move, I ask him if he likes a recent tattoo I just got and he says “yeah, it’s okay” to which I reply “okay????” To which he replies “yeah, you know I’m not into tattoos and not the biggest fan” to which I replied “but I have a million tattoos” and then he says “I know” like he didn’t give it any other thoughts.
I’d like to point out that I personally feel like I’m a pretty attractive woman, I’m in my early 30s but I really take care of myself in every way, not just physically. I often get hit on and I am also often reminded and uplifted by friends when it comes to my looks and also my insides (bless them) so I don’t often not feel confident or insecure and I love my tattoos. I have been collecting them since I was 16 with a fake id (shamefully)
HOWEVER, at this moment I felt crushed as I am about 70% fully tattooed and it’s not something I can fix as they are permanent and don’t wish to fix. Thankfully we’d both driven in separate cars so I was able to get in my car and briefly shed some tears alone before we made it to the second spot which was the bar. Once we got to the bar, I told him about it being a year since we met and we cheered, shared some memories and somewhat had a great time? I didn’t address the situation then but it’s been eating at me for almost a week now. Thankfully I had a trip planned this past weekend so I was able to escape the situation of us meeting up on the weekend and avoid talking about what I felt and feel, cause I know we have to and I kept communication very minimal, brief exchanges here and there.
I’m just not sure how to even approach the situation, the comment he made has made me feel so insecure and honestly just sad, as my tattoos are such a huge part of my body. If he doesn’t like them, how does he feel when we’re intimate? What does he really feel about me when I’m naked? I’ve gained a bit of weight recently and had already been feeling a little self conscious but I know I can quickly work on that, not for him but for me but now I’m feeling the weight of his comments along with the weight gain. I don’t want to have sex with him for now because I need to be able to get my mind to the right mindset before and I’m not sure how to communicate that or the fact that I feel so sad with the comments that he has made. Before this I never had any insecurities about my looks and our relationship, he always tells me I’m beautiful and every time he sees me he tells me “you look great as always” but I can’t help to feel those comments in the back of my head.
I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to approach the situation and the talk as I don’t want to fall apart before we even start having the conversation. I have already cancelled our weekly date this wed but we still have Sunday and I’d like to address this before then. He has voiced multiple times that he misses me and has been trying to text me daily but I’m just sad and have been keeping to myself.
Thank you in advance.