u/angguro

Self-aware confessions...

Mid-life crisis is real. Personally, alam kong dinadaanan ko siya right now. I feel envious of my friends who are single and free to do what they want. Inggit ako sa mga nag-early retirement, mga hindi corporate slave, those whose schedules ay hawak nila.

I feel stuck and weighed down by obligations, responsibilities and routines that seemingly wont end.

I try my best to suppress these feelings, get into hobbies to divert my intrusive thoughts, but nothing seems to stick or inspite happiness.

Kayo ba? Whats your mid-life crisis like and how do you deal with it?

Edited for a typo.

Went to gas up my car today. Sa entrance ng gas station may nakaharang na delivery rider. As in nakaharang sa entrance mismo. Hindi ako makapasok. I honked my horn politely. The rider angrily told me to wait while he out on his rain gear, making me block trafffic and cause a minor traffic jam.

Nung umuaog na siya, binabaan ko ng bintana yumg kamote.

"Kuya, nakaharang ka po kasi sa daanan." Nakangiti pa ako.

"Huwag kang iiyak." Ang sagot ng kamote.

"Bakit ambastos mo? Ikaw na nga mali eh." Medyo nagtaas na ako ng boses.

"Suntukan na lang tayo" anf sagot.

What the hell? Linggong-linggo eh.

Running here to just confess how im struggling.

Backgrounder: im in my mid40s, married for 15+ years to a wife who was raised totally different from how i was raised. We have kids My parents gave me extracurriculars, suppprted them and were active in my pursuit of hobbies. On the other hand, my wife was raised in a family where friends were discouraged, they werent taught basic lifeskills (riding a bike, swimming, basic cooking)

Now that my kids are getting into sports, wife doesnt get the support i give them. Im proud they do well in their chosen sports and i try to be active in helping them get better.

She doesnt get it. In fact, nagseselos siya. Im tired. I spend my free time training them, joining club teams for the kids and stuff like that.

Siya naman nagseselos. I spend too much time daw with the kids. She claims id rather spend time with the other parents than with her. She wants me home.

Im tired na. I dont know how to go on. I want my kids to have core memories but the wife wants them in school lang and home.

Kawawa mga anak ko but im doubling down on the only way i know how to parent.

Yun lang.