u/annaiilysm

Last night I had one of the worst episodes I’ve had in a long time. A lot of it felt like intense dissociation more severe than I’ve ever experienced before. The way I was acting, the things I was saying and doing, none of it felt real to me. I honestly don’t even have the words for it.

It all started after a difficult conversation with my partner about some things I’ve been struggling with, especially eating, saying they don’t love me, will leave etc. After that, I completely spiraled. They told me I seemed like a completely different person, and hearing that terrified me because I barely remember parts of what happened. I’ve never seen myself get that bad before. I wasn’t present at all.

Now I’m overwhelmed with guilt, shame, and regret. I’m scared to text them or even face them because I feel disgusted with myself. What makes it harder is that I genuinely don’t remember a lot of what I said or typed, and that makes everything feel even more unreal. Right now I just feel exhausted and emotionally drained. I don’t know how to face them or where to even begin. They probably hate me and the pain I caused them to feel by my actions makes it worse. I don’t know if there’s any coming back from this

I just recently tried halo top! They’re really expensive where I live so I can only grab them sometimes (╥ ᴗ ╥).

I’ve only tried red velvet & peanut butter swirl so far (both sooo good). Are there any others worth trying that you guys love?