u/anonymous-shit1

Promise, will keep it concise.

I wanted to discuss some family issues, I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. All the story is about my younger sis (20 y/o), around 8 months ago my elder sister (she is married) got to know that my younger sister is talking to a guy (28 y/o). my elder sis asked her about it, younger sis told her that she had been talking for like 2 weeks now and he approached her on linkedin (my younger sis is working on the company that I was working on). so that guy approached her for some project then from there they started to talk and developed some feelings... long story short, my elder sister and mother told me about all this and advised me that I should talk to that guy first and if everything looks good then I should tell my father about it. My father is very strict in these stuff, which makes sense, my younger sis is still a princess to him...

So, that guys messaged me in a very authoritative tone, like literally he messaged me on Saturday at around 1pm. His msg, "Aoa, ____ here yr aj inshaAllah milten hen at _____. I will confirm the timings." this message felt wrong to me, because if you have basic manners then you will never take other's time for granted. I also work 5 days a week and only have two days off (barely) so, I had some plan with my friends, I couldn't opt out nor I wanted to. Still I asked that guy about the timing for meetup, he replied after an hour, his reply, "7pm". thats it.. Then I said today is difficult for me, I am outside with my friends and will be late. Then I tell him to meet me tomorrow. He was not available on Sunday, so he told me to meet at 8:30pm on staturday. I just said that I am not available and I will msg him next week for a meetup.

So, next week on Tuesday I messaged him, "Asalamualaikum, Are you available this weekend? or Friday? After 6pm. I will be near ___". He didnt reply, the next day I pinged him again and he said, "Wsalam, wwe are coming next week with family InshaAllah mulaqat hogi ghr me apke. Take care". I was astonished. like who the fk invited you here. Then I told everything to my elder sis and mother in a very angry tone. I asked them if they know that he wants to come here with family? My mom said that my younger sis told her that his mother will call you. I completely disagreed with all this and told them that its not going to happen, they all were against me.. Then I went to my father told him everything (of course, my mother didnt.. I am not sure for what she was waiting for).

My father also was not happy with it, still he just said all good. we can meet them but before that me and my father will meet the guy. I declined saying that I dont want to meet that freak. then after some time my father came to me and said that he also doesnt like all this but he has to do it for his daughter so that she doesnt have any grievance. and if that guy is genuinely good then we dont have any complains. I then agreed, we met him. he was just a below average dude, didnt have a house, was living with his mother's relative and a lot of financial issues..

We still said that it doesn't harm meeting his family (just for the sake of my younger sis).

So, his family came (his mother, sis and him), by all the conversation we concluded that his mother doesnt want to do this marriage because he was her only son and he was earning some money and she still had to do marriage of her daughter (typical pakistani mindset). Also we just didnt get good vibes from her. Also, that guy. he was just sitting there like a statue like c'mon man, have some fkn confidence. atleast talk to my father. but he didnt..

Then we just rejected them, told my younger sis about it.

After like 6 months my father got to know that my younger sis was still talking to him, She scolded her (in a very respectful way), he told her about everything thats wrong with this guy, she had nothing to say. then he told me about it, I was like, "I told you guys, you and my mother are to blame.." So yea, that was my genuine reaction.

Anyways, he was very upset about it, he clearly told my mother and my younger sis that this should be stopped and we are not marring her there.

My father also contacted that guy on WA, he didnt pick the call at first then he dropped a voice message in a very respectful tone, that all these should be stopped and we dont want her to marry there. then he didnt reply for two days. then my father called him again two fkn times, he didnt pick the call. then in the morning he message my father. his reply, "meri jo bhi shikayat ha wo meri mother se kren". Here I just lost it. anyways, I still dont know what my father replied him but he did reply him. My father replied him at office and he is still not home so.

But that guy, he took a screenshot of the conversation and sent to my younger sister and my younger sister was arguing to my mom about it, I am doing wfh today that how I know. So, I went to the room asked about whats happening when I find out, I directly called my father rather than taking anything on my hands. I told him everything, he was very stressed and told me to wait till he comes back. thats what I was doing. then I again heard some arguments, and my younger sis was arguing my mother on why my father messaged him like that, why he did this and that etc etc. Then I said why not? he is such a pussy, cant even talk to a man, cant even settle things out and pushing his mother in front of my father. like seriously.. Then I asked my mother to tell her that its over we are not going to bind any ties with that family, my mother did so, in return my sis said no its not rejected and this and that. on which my mother said its rejected. I could see tears in her eyes. Imean why not. her daughter is fighting for a guy who is such a pussy..

I dont know what to do here. need some guidance

Promise, will keep it concise.

I wanted to discuss some family issues, I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. All the story is about my younger sis (20 y/o), around 8 months ago my elder sister (she is married) got to know that my younger sister is talking to a guy (28 y/o). my elder sis asked her about it, younger sis told her that she had been talking for like 2 weeks now and he approached her on linkedin (my younger sis is working on the company that I was working on). so that guy approached her for some project then from there they started to talk and developed some feelings... long story short, my elder sister and mother told me about all this and advised me that I should talk to that guy first and if everything looks good then I should tell my father about it. My father is very strict in these stuff, which makes sense, my younger sis is still a princess to him...

So, that guys messaged me in a very authoritative tone, like literally he messaged me on Saturday at around 1pm. His msg, "Aoa, ____ here yr aj inshaAllah milten hen at _____. I will confirm the timings." this message felt wrong to me, because if you have basic manners then you will never take other's time for granted. I also work 5 days a week and only have two days off (barely) so, I had some plan with my friends, I couldn't opt out nor I wanted to. Still I asked that guy about the timing for meetup, he replied after an hour, his reply, "7pm". thats it.. Then I said today is difficult for me, I am outside with my friends and will be late. Then I tell him to meet me tomorrow. He was not available on Sunday, so he told me to meet at 8:30pm on staturday. I just said that I am not available and I will msg him next week for a meetup.

So, next week on Tuesday I messaged him, "Asalamualaikum, Are you available this weekend? or Friday? After 6pm. I will be near ___". He didnt reply, the next day I pinged him again and he said, "Wsalam, wwe are coming next week with family InshaAllah mulaqat hogi ghr me apke. Take care". I was astonished. like who the fk invited you here. Then I told everything to my elder sis and mother in a very angry tone. I asked them if they know that he wants to come here with family? My mom said that my younger sis told her that his mother will call you. I completely disagreed with all this and told them that its not going to happen, they all were against me.. Then I went to my father told him everything (of course, my mother didnt.. I am not sure for what she was waiting for).

My father also was not happy with it, still he just said all good. we can meet them but before that me and my father will meet the guy. I declined saying that I dont want to meet that freak. then after some time my father came to me and said that he also doesnt like all this but he has to do it for his daughter so that she doesnt have any grievance. and if that guy is genuinely good then we dont have any complains. I then agreed, we met him. he was just a below average dude, didnt have a house, was living with his mother's relative and a lot of financial issues..

We still said that it doesn't harm meeting his family (just for the sake of my younger sis).

So, his family came (his mother, sis and him), by all the conversation we concluded that his mother doesnt want to do this marriage because he was her only son and he was earning some money and she still had to do marriage of her daughter (typical pakistani mindset). Also we just didnt get good vibes from her. Also, that guy. he was just sitting there like a statue like c'mon man, have some fkn confidence. atleast talk to my father. but he didnt..

Then we just rejected them, told my younger sis about it.

After like 6 months my father got to know that my younger sis was still talking to him, She scolded her (in a very respectful way), he told her about everything thats wrong with this guy, she had nothing to say. then he told me about it, I was like, "I told you guys, you and my mother are to blame.." So yea, that was my genuine reaction.

Anyways, he was very upset about it, he clearly told my mother and my younger sis that this should be stopped and we are not marring her there.

My father also contacted that guy on WA, he didnt pick the call at first then he dropped a voice message in a very respectful tone, that all these should be stopped and we dont want her to marry there. then he didnt reply for two days. then my father called him again two fkn times, he didnt pick the call. then in the morning he message my father. his reply, "meri jo bhi shikayat ha wo meri mother se kren". Here I just lost it. anyways, I still dont know what my father replied him but he did reply him. My father replied him at office and he is still not home so.

But that guy, he took a screenshot of the conversation and sent to my younger sister and my younger sister was arguing to my mom about it, I am doing wfh today that how I know. So, I went to the room asked about whats happening when I find out, I directly called my father rather than taking anything on my hands. I told him everything, he was very stressed and told me to wait till he comes back. thats what I was doing. then I again heard some arguments, and my younger sis was arguing my mother on why my father messaged him like that, why he did this and that etc etc. Then I said why not? he is such a pussy, cant even talk to a man, cant even settle things out and pushing his mother in front of my father. like seriously.. Then I asked my mother to tell her that its over we are not going to bind any ties with that family, my mother did so, in return my sis said no its not rejected and this and that. on which my mother said its rejected. I could see tears in her eyes. Imean why not. her daughter is fighting for a guy who is such a pussy..

I dont know what to do here. need some guidance