u/anonymous-unicorn67

(All names are fake, everyone involved is in high school)
Last night I almost lost my virginity but I kind of feel weird about the situation. Okay, so basically, two guys asked if they could hang out with me and my friend Hailey. I had met one of the guys about a month ago at a football game and he has been flirting me, asking to hangout and texting me since. I told them Haileys parents weren’t home, so they ended up coming over anyway. We all went upstairs and hung out in Hailey’s room.
At some point, Dan (the guy I was interested in) asked me to go downstairs with him to get some water. We found some, and then we started making out. He was grabbing my ass, and afterward, we went back upstairs to Haileys room where Hailey and his friend Ryder were.
After a little bit I had to leave the room to do something and he got up and said if I wanted to continue what happened downstairs he was waiting in Haileys parents room, which honestly already made me feel a little weird because it felt like he was getting straight to hooking up. I went in there, and he asked me to lock the door.
We started making out again, and I was on top of him. I don’t know how to explain it, but I wasn’t really feeling that spark. The kissing wasn’t bad, but I just wasn’t feeling what I thought I would.
He asked me what I was down for and I told him we can’t fuck and he said okay and seemed completely chill about that. He asked if I would suck his dick I said sure, I didn’t really want to but I knew he was gonna bug me about it if I said no so I just said yes immediately. Then he asked me to pull down his pants, and I ended up giving him head. He also took off my top and my bra and my shorts and underwear. He was fingering me, and asked to do 69 so we repositioned. Eventually, he pulled me up and started asking if I would have sex with him.
He must have asked me at least 20 times. He kept saying he wanted to make me his girlfriend, that he was the right person to take my virginity, and that he respects women. He even stuck his fingers in and out again and said “it will feel just like that.” He also kept saying he knew I wanted to and Im just overthinking.
Eventually, I said fine and he guided me back on top of him, but I couldn’t get it in right.
Then he told me to lie on my back and put my legs up and spread them. I was lying there, and that’s when I really started overthinking everything.
I felt uncomfortable in that position, not because Im not flexible Im a cheerleader, but I started thinking, this isnt how I wanted to loose my virginity. I wanted to feel comfortable and safe with someone, actually wanting it to happen instead of questioning everything in the moment.
I told him to go slow, and he said he would. But when he got on top of me and thought he had gotten it in, he thrust forward hard. It didn’t actually go in, but I remember thinking that he wasn’t listening to me. That wasn’t slow.
I told him no, but he kept saying things like, “Come on, you’re already in the position,” and continued trying to convince me. He kept bringing up the same things he’d said before.
Eventually, he stopped trying to have sex and asked if I wanted to do other things instead.
He asked to titty fuck but it was hard because his dick is pretty small being honest so it was hard even though I have big tits, so I ended up giving him head again while he fingered me.
At one point, he asked if I wanted him to finish in my mouth. I initially said yes, but while I was doing it, I started thinking about it and told him not to. He said he wouldn’t, although he added that, based on what I was doing, it might be difficult to stop if it happened. I just kept going because, at that point, I honestly didn’t really care anymore.
Eventually, he had me move away and finished himself off. He ended up finishing on my chest.
Afterward, we went to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up, and I cleaned myself off too. He got dressed, and I started putting all my clothes back on.
Then he said he needed to check on his friend, Ryder, who was still with Hailey. Apparently, Ryders parents were getting mad because they needed to get home.
He hugged me goodbye, and that was basically it.
No real conversation about what had just happened, no checking in about how I felt, nothing. I understand it was around one and they needed to leave, but I still felt weird about how everything ended.
We didn’t actually have sex, but I still feel strange about the entire experience. And I was also wondering if this kid seems do dangerous to hangout with ever again even because another girl I know I told her about how we invited guys over and she asked me to invite them and some friends for her over next week because her parents will be out of town aswell.
I’ve been raped before by someone I trusted. When that happened, I remember feeling pressured in a similar way, and that’s part of why I kept saying no to Dan when he wanted to have sex.
I didn’t want my first time having sex to happen like that. I didn’t want to feel uncomfortable, pressured, or like I had to agree just to get someone to stop asking.
I think I was especially firm about not having sex because I was trying so hard to make sure I didn’t end up in the same situation again.
But even after everything, I eventually said fine. It didn’t end up happening anyway, but now I’m stuck thinking about the fact that I agreed at all.
I wanted to have these experiences, and I wanted to be comfortable with someone. But when it actually happened, I didn’t feel cared for in the way I expected to. I felt like everything was moving toward sex, and I was just going along with things instead of actually deciding what I wanted.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar, especially anyone who has experienced sexual assault before and then tried to navigate intimacy afterward.

1 16F got raped by a guy on friday, march 27th. He knew that I didn't have a ride home from school and had his license. We were sophomores at the time so not many of my friends did we were all just turning 16 and I decided to go with him. (Hes 16m) For some context, I didn't know the kid that well. Most of the stuff I had heard about him were rumors about him doing sexual things with girls, he kinda has a reputation at school at my old school, however most things are from frehman year. We have mutual friends, and that whole week leading up to that day he's been texting me asking to hang out flirting with me on snap saying I'm really pretty and a bunch of things.Another thing important to know is he's in the teen youth group at my church (Im a non-denominational Christian.) But that Wednesday we had just had a talk about sex and dating and he told me that at first when he was texting me he didn't really have the best intentions,but after the lesson at church, he was changed and a lot of the rumors about him weren't really true. I personally have had rumors around me at that school that I used to go to and went to at the time of the incident (I I just transferred for my junior year to another school in the district after an incident because it was too hard for me to go to school with him after what had happened)

Anyways, Friday comes and like I said, I didn't have a ride home but for the last class the day 6th period. There was an incident with girls on my cheer team and they had been really mean to me so I was crying the whole last two classes of the day. I texted him "hey I don't really wanna hang out anymore like I just had a really bad day let's reschedule" and he kept texting me and saying "come on I'm here for you if you're upset, I understand, I've been trying to hang out with you all week like I really wanna get to know you blah blah blah" and I'm stupid so I believed it.

He gave me a ride home and he had already communicated with me. He couldn't hang out for that long that day anyway because he had made a prior commitment with his friends to go to. I think they were having a barbecue or something that day. But we were hanging out and he cheered me up and we hit it off pretty well, then at first he kept making comments saying "you know a kiss would make your day better right?" and I told him I'm good. When he dropped me off at my friends house he started texting me as soon as I got out inside "please come back out like just a quick make out really quick. Come on I really like you, I'm already gonna be late to hang out with my friends just so I could drive you around for a little bit and cheer you up, please " and guilt tripping me and again I was stupid and clearly didn't have much self-respect at the time (not blaming myself, but that was some bad decision-making) and I decide to get back in the car with him, but I made it very clear to him. Nothing further than making out.

We were making out and suddenly he pulled away and asked if he could at least get his hands in (asking to finger me) and then of course, like I said I set that boundary beforehand and retold him I don't wanna do that. He kept telling me," it's fine. You know you want to I promise it will feel good, please I was getting really nervous cause I kept telling him no and at the time I was yonger so I was alot more nervous and timid and saying no was already for me. but I promised myself if I'm agreeing to go back in the car with him, I will be strong enough to stand my ground and use my words. I obviously assumed that would be enough because thats what consent is so I hadnt anticipated maybe he'll try and push for it and as I was saying no he started unbuckling my shorts and getting his fingers in and things continued and escalated to much more than just fingering. The whole time I was really frozen up and kept asking to leave and he wouldnt let me. He was being so aggressive with me even to the point where he told me to get down and had me laying in his lap and was jerking off one hand and smacking my boob with the other, I remember at that point feeling degraded and zoned out feeling so scared powerless and being frozen.

I was able to convince my mom to let me transfer schools because I had other issues at the original school. She doesn't know that why I wanted to transfer it was because of what happened but I never told her about it. For a long time after especially immediately I really blamed myself for getting back in the car with him but a friend who I've opened up to she told me that's rape and what happened and that's not okay.

The past couple months I've been struggling with heightened anxiety, especially while I was still at my old school, feeling a lot of depression and I had lost all motivation. I had 35 absences the second semester of my sophomore year, which was when the incident took place because I couldnt even walk in the hallways. I got cut on from the cheer team I had been on for two years for no reason .There was so much more in the list could continue. I went from a straight A student and all honors and AP classes who was a popular cheerleader with a lot of friends to a student who was cutting class and drinking and isolated herself from everyone, even her closest friends.

Now at my new school I've made so many new friends. I made the cheer team and I've just been having so much fun. My mom said she has seen my spark come back after transferring.

Anyways, getting to the point, although I'm doing so great at this new school, I still feel this anxiety even hearing his name because he has a very common name and seeing his face I see him all over social media post from people that go to our school, seeing him at church, he literally volunteers to lead the children's program at church and I don't think anyone who was done what he did to me should be allowed to work with children. I literally see him everywhere. The school I transferred to is 10 minutes away.

What I hate the most that everyone sees him as such a good person. Everyone loves him at school, at church, on his varsity sports teams, his girlfriend. And I just think it's so unfair that he gets to walk with no consequences and this could risk him doing it to someone again.

Anyways, I really only wanted to tell my mom because I wanted therapy in a professional to talk to. Talking to my friends helps talking to a professional adult just feels like it would be a much better experience, especially someone who specializes in sexual assault trauma because I can't even take a shower without remembering how he violated my . I even tried to talk to one of my counselors at church camp and told her there was an incident with one of the boys who was there and it's been making my church camp experience, which is supposed to be super fun really upsetting just being in the same space as him. She asked what had happened what the incident was, but I think she saw me starting to get upset and could kind of put two and two together. She told me she just wanted to let me know that she is a mandated reporter and anything on the topic of assault, sexual or sexual assault must be reported by her legally, so I did kind of tell her what happened but I changed the story a little bit to say I did say yes just to make him like me or something like that because I panicked and I knew if I didn't say anything at all that would confirmher suspicions.

The only thing is, I was thinking if I tell my mom and she tells whatever therapist or whatever she would send me to what happened. Since sa would have to be reported because I did research and saw mandated reporters(that includes therapists) have to report any minor being sexual assault. In my mind I though if my mom already knows about it, why would they have to report? Wrong, I did research and saw if a case had already even reported or a parent reported it to mandate reporter would have to be re-reported somehow or something. I probably worded this confusingly, but the point is you can't really get into therapy like that unless it's reported to the police.

You also may be confused, I just said I don't think he deserves to be walking free with no consequences, but I'm just genuinely not at a point where I'm ready to report him. I see him everywhere and I am scared he could threaten me, and he has told me not to tell anyone numerous times before (now i have him blocked on everything and blocked his gf and family and even his close friends.) Anyways Im scared I see him at church football games even surround the city and I am just terrified of him. I'm terrified of the influence he has over others and the people who love him and if they heard that I made this accusation and I sent it to the police and the police had to come knock on his door I'm assuming, he could ruin everything for me. I've just gone to a new school. I don't want people to know what happened to Me or whatever kind of twisted story he could tell to get out of trouble. I don't have any proof so the odds of me wearing this case are pretty near impossible. I know his mom is friends with so many parents in the city, including girls I used to cheer with at my old school, who are close friends with girls I used to cheer at my new school. Even people from my old school know him because everyone from my old new school go to the same church. I just wanted to start fresh, but I still want someone to talk to someone professional in person. Should I risk what could happen to me. Hes someone well known around my city, but I also am a part of a minority group and living in a very predominantly white area where a lot of kids do have racist ideologies especially at my old school and said so many racist things to me and I'm not as well perceived as him. Just wanted some opinions thank you to anyone who replies!

I dont know if Im being dramatic or if this even classifies as SA. Warning this is going to be a very detailed post so it may be triggering to some.

For some background I 16F had been snapping this guy also 16M for about a month or two lets call him Oliver. I never thought anything of it because snapping on Snapchat is really common even if its with people you dont really know but I knew of him he went to my school and he was friends with alot of my friends but we had never really talked.

He added me on snapchat and followed me on instagram on the same day which I thought was a little weird but didn't think much of it. I also think its important to mention because I believe it's the only reason he reached out or was snapping me in the first place one time about a month before the incident on a snap he sent me he wrote "didn't you hookup with that one guy?" I denied it, and assumed he was referring to this one guy I hooked up with that rumors got around. He wouldn't tell me who he was referring to or who told him but we dropped it and just kept snapping.

About a month later I was skipping 6th with my friends on a Tuesday and we went to the pool of my friends complex since it was a hot day. Me and him were snapping and he said "I was at the pool earlier." When I saw this we had already gone back to my friends apartment. He asked if I was going back and I said yes and he told me he lives in a neighborhood about 5 minutes away and could drive over. I asked my friend and she said "no hes gonna rape us." I kinda brushed it off and didnt ask questions because she said it laughing I just assumed she was just joking around and didnt want to hangout with him cause she didn't really know him. After everything though we talked about tha comment and she told me she heard weird things about him with other girls but was genuinely exaggerating when she said that.

I told him we couldn't even though me and my friend did end up going back and he asked if Id be down to hangout any other time and I agreed, hes a cute guy. On Wednesday night we had youth group which I didnt even know he was in until that night and they were talking about sex and relationships. Long story short since its a church group obviously they were advising against it. After that he texted me telling me after that lesson he was really changed and was admitting he didnt have the best intentions and wanted to hangout but we should still hangout and get to know each other as friends which I agreed.

He also told me the nam eof guy involved in the rumors he heard when he asked if I had hooked up with someone in the past, but the rumors he heard it wasn't with the guy I expected. It wasn't the guy I had hooked up with, but apparently he knew about a guy who had sexually assaulted me when I was under the influence. I don't think he knew the details because he described it as a hookup, but it really alarmed me that he knew that because nobody knows that and it's not something going around our school and hes not friends with anyone involved in the situation not even in the same circle, he told me it wasnt something going around and his friend who told him said nobody knew and it was like a big secret or something idk.

The next night however as it got late, he started texting me saying maybe its not that bad if we hookup just once and I was telling him I dont know because of the message we heard at church but admittedly a big part of me wanted to because it feels good and stuff but obviously its not the best idea. We talked about it and I said we could see where things go but if something does happen nothing further than making out.

On friday we had agreed to hangout but he told me he forgot he had made a prior commitment for a hangout with his friends. He told me we could hangout for a little and he'd take me home from school. Also important to mention he has his license and me and most of my friends dont we're just turning 16 and most people procrastinated on getting our permits Im almost 17 and dont even have mine yet, so that kind of made him standout because people with their licenses and cars can get you around. Not that I was using him but it definetly stood out to me.

That day I had a huge argument with a friend and was literally sobbing the whole 6th period whic was the last class so I texted him and told him I wasnt in the mood and explained what was going on. He told me I should still come and hes here for me and we can talk about things so I agreed. Also I did tell him I knew he was going to try something but I was really sad and told him not to, so he said he wont.

He took me to my friends home after school and we drove around for a bit and talked alot. We actually got on really well hes not a shy kid and I liked that alot about him. He cheered me up and that was great. One thing he did say, "a kiss will make your day better" but I told him I'm not in the mood to do anything and we dropped it. Then he dropped me off and I was with my friend.

I saw he texted me, "come back out." I asked why and he started begging just for me to come for a couple minutes just to makeout and I told him again I dont want to. He basically started guilt tripping me saying we hit it off really well and he already told his friend he's gonna be late to hang out just so he could give me a ride and talk to me and if I could just come out for a couple minutes. He told me he thought we really got on well and eventually after a lot of texting, I decided to go back out, but I made sure to tell him only making out I'm not down for anything else.

We got in his car and he had parked somewhere and we talked a bit and then he eventually leaned in for a kiss. He asked to head to the back and we started making out and he was touching all over. Then he pulled away and asked if he could at least get his hands in (asking to finger me) I said no.

He started begging and saying things like "you know you want to, you know it will feel good." Again, part of me wanted to but I knew it was wrong so I said no. He wasn't taking no for an answer and started unbuckling my shorts as I was stoll saying no and he was tryingto reason with me. He was kissing my forehead and saying Im so pretty and its fine if we do stuff just once. At that moment I knew I wasn't getting out of it and was scared so I just said fine. Also detail Im usually not very good at sayingno so me even saying it at all was big for me and it was really hard when he was begging because I felt bad ik i shouldnt but he was guilt tripping me. He started fingering me and it really hurt cause he was kinda just shoving his fingers in and out really hard he didnt even start off slow. I was really scared I kept asking him to go slower and he would for a second then speed up again and it was obvious I was in pain. At some point he noticed and asked if I wanted only one finger which I said yes but it still hurt how agressively he was going.

Finally he took his fingers out and asked if I would give him and handjob. I said no and he said its only fair cause he just did something to me. I thought maybe if I just say yes he wont ask for more so I just did. Then he asked if I would just put my mouth on it and I told him no were not doing that. He said please just for 10 seconds I wont ask for anything more. I said no but the same thing happened and I just ended up giving him head. Then he asked to go down on me and the same pressuring conversation again.

My friend called me during so we stopped, and I answered, and she was telling me that her babysitter was getting suspicious that me and her had been out so long, she has younger siblings that the babysitter was there to watch. (We said we were getting doordash and my friend was waiting for me outside and knew I was hanging out with him.)

I kept telling him that I had to go, but he said "come on don't give me blue balls just make me finish and then you can go please." I had never given head before, so I don't really know what I was doing and he ended up having to finish himself off for the last minute, but I remember just feeling so disrespected like I wasn't even there because I was zoned out. He was grabbing my tits and slapping them while was jerking off with the other hand, and it just made me feel so degraded, and I didn't even wanna do stuff with him which I told him multiple times. It was also my first time giving and receiving oral, first time a guy seeingme down their. I didnt even enjoy any of it not even when we were just making out because I had already had a horrible day and I wasn't in the mood.

I got out of the car finally, and my friend was kind of mad that I had taken a while. She asked what I did with him and I just said making out because I didn't want to talk about it but later that day as we were hanging out in her her room she asked "what's wrong, why do you look so sad?" and I just started crying and I told her everything that happened. He didnt even text me to make sure I was in her house okay or if I was okay. He only texted me a couple hours later asking if my friend was gonna tell anybody and he didnt want rumors going around about us.

We texted the next day and I told him how I felt aboht the whole situation and how he didnt even ask if Im okay. We also talked about how he knew I didnt want to do anything but he had shifted from the old energy he used to have to really dry responses like he wanted nothing to do with me or what happened. He just kept telling me to move on from everything.

Its been a month since this incident and every time I see him at school, my heart drops. We have no contact anymore and it just breaks my heart my first time experiencing such thing was horrible and he didn't even care. The only reason he texted me is because of rumors that he had heard about me. I dont know if this was sexual assault coercion or if it was my fault and its regret Im feeling. All I know is it hurts. Please don't judge me, I know I shouldn't have even agreed to making out with a guy that I don't know that much. It's just common around here, but I know that's not the best decision-making and I know I shouldn't have got back into that car with him I just felt bad cause he kept talking anout how he gave me a ride home and blah blah. Im not the type of girl to just hookup with guys even if it seems like I am I have been trying to do better for God and have been for awhile and hadnt drank or hungout with guys in months so I was really hurt because I had been on a good streak in turning my life around.

!Additional Info! (if ur bored of reading you dont need to read this part u already know enough of the story)

About two weeks ago, this was before he went to no contact I sent him this message because I was really bothered by what happened in these are his responses copied and pasted. Could you guys give me some insight on what this message means like did he actually care he hurt me or what it just a bs response. Just a reminder, I said I'm calling the guy Oliver because it turned out I didn't need to refer to him as this in the story but I'm going to need to here. All things that are edited to hide personal information for me to remain anonymous is in [brackets] so that's anything that's changed from the original texts. Im also cross posting this to other communities to get more opinions so you may see this a couple times.

(Me)
Hi [Oliver] this is the final time Im going to reach out to you. I just wanted to say some final words that have been on my mind and let to you to know how I felt about the situation because it really hurt me which Ive said to you before. Im not saying that after what happened that we had to lock in or anything like that, you made it clear you didn't want anything serious beforehand which is completely fine, I didn't either but we could've atleast been friends or something, or even if we kept hanging out even if it was just doing stuff that would be different but you literally just were a dick and acted like nothing at all happened. I know your impression of me from rumors you heard which were untrue and not even close to what actually happened. Actually in the past Ive definitely heard alot about you but I put that aside because I judge people based off my experiences so I ignored everything I heard and really tried to see the good in you. After the sex talk [youth group (I had to chnage this bc it was the name of our youth group)]I saw your effort based off our short conversation that you were trying to change from your struggles of lust which I was proud of even though I barely knew you but I love Jesus and I love the church and it seemed like a big step in faith. Then the next day you were saying completely opposite things but I ignored it, we all slip up sometimes but things went too far when we actually hungout. Im not syaing that im perfect I make mistakes too but its the fact when things went too far you did absolutely nothing to even try to fix it. Its not that I care about you but I care about what happened like I literally can't not I cant control that believe me you don't know how hard I tried. Im not really expecting a response from this but you can if you find the need I dont really care I just wanted you to know where my heads at. The bottom line is if you wanna be the type of guy to beg an unwilling girl to hookup and take random girls you barely know to the back of your moms car act all obsessed and all over them, but then just turn around and treat them like shit, ignore them, and act like you've never talked to them a day in your life thats fine but just be aware of that and live with it dont try to act like someone you're not.

(Oliver)
woah
thank you reaching out
yeah ive changed every since
ive chaged for the better and really appreciate this text
thank you alot
but yeah it was indeed like a wake up call and ive turned around
thank you for reaching out
for sure we all slip up and yes I had a bad one
but yeah I love Jesus too hes great
and ive tried my hardest to regain my faith and ive been putting a lot of work into it
thank you alot for reaching out
and ofc I will respond
Im not that mean
that was really big of you to reach out like that
I respect that decision a lot and that was probably hard and I am very thankful for you to say such a good thin
And thats good that you told me this
I completely agree with everything you said. we do all slip up
and coming from me, someone that slips a lot clearly you know
like ofc there's a lot of rumors about me and it sucks
bc almost all of them aren't true
but at the end of the day I dont care and I only care about what my impact is going to be on other people and myself
and truly, I know I have apologized and I know its jot going to change anything but I am very sorry still and I am so glad that u are treating me the way you are still
thank you alot
you dont have to respond but I just wanted to thoroughly and kindly respond to what your said
thank you
you dont have to respond i dont really want to have to keep brijg this up
like ive been praying about it a lot
and I wish I could take it back

(Me)
Thank you so much for apologizing that really means alot to me and everything your response seems really genuine I can see alot of growth from last time we talked so keep doing what your doing God has an amazing plan for you

(Oliver)
thanks
you too
Out of genuine respect too
Can we not text
like sorry
its just I like someone
they are helping me grow closer to God too
and I just want to be loyal
thank you

I dont know if Im being dramatic or if this even classifies as SA. Warning this is going to be a very detailed post so it may be triggering to some.

For some background I 16F had been snapping this guy also 16M for about a month or two lets call him Oliver. I never thought anything of it because snapping on Snapchat is really common even if its with people you dont really know but I knew of him he went to my school and he was friends with alot of my friends but we had never really talked.

He added me on snapchat and followed me on instagram on the same day which I thought was a little weird but didn't think much of it. I also think its important to mention because I believe it's the only reason he reached out or was snapping me in the first place one time about a month before the incident on a snap he sent me he wrote "didn't you hookup with that one guy?" I denied it, and assumed he was referring to this one guy I hooked up with that rumors got around. He wouldn't tell me who he was referring to or who told him but we dropped it and just kept snapping.

About a month later I was skipping 6th with my friends on a Tuesday and we went to the pool of my friends complex since it was a hot day. Me and him were snapping and he said "I was at the pool earlier." When I saw this we had already gone back to my friends apartment. He asked if I was going back and I said yes and he told me he lives in a neighborhood about 5 minutes away and could drive over. I asked my friend and she said "no hes gonna rape us." I kinda brushed it off and didnt ask questions because she said it laughing I just assumed she was just joking around and didnt want to hangout with him cause she didn't really know him. After everything though we talked about tha comment and she told me she heard weird things about him with other girls but was genuinely exaggerating when she said that.

I told him we couldn't even though me and my friend did end up going back and he asked if Id be down to hangout any other time and I agreed, hes a cute guy. On Wednesday night we had youth group which I didnt even know he was in until that night and they were talking about sex and relationships. Long story short since its a church group obviously they were advising against it. After that he texted me telling me after that lesson he was really changed and was admitting he didnt have the best intentions and wanted to hangout but we should still hangout and get to know each other as friends which I agreed.

He also told me the nam eof guy involved in the rumors he heard when he asked if I had hooked up with someone in the past, but the rumors he heard it wasn't with the guy I expected. It wasn't the guy I had hooked up with, but apparently he knew about a guy who had sexually assaulted me when I was under the influence. I don't think he knew the details because he described it as a hookup, but it really alarmed me that he knew that because nobody knows that and it's not something going around our school and hes not friends with anyone involved in the situation not even in the same circle, he told me it wasnt something going around and his friend who told him said nobody knew and it was like a big secret or something idk.

The next night however as it got late, he started texting me saying maybe its not that bad if we hookup just once and I was telling him I dont know because of the message we heard at church but admittedly a big part of me wanted to because it feels good and stuff but obviously its not the best idea. We talked about it and I said we could see where things go but if something does happen nothing further than making out.

On friday we had agreed to hangout but he told me he forgot he had made a prior commitment for a hangout with his friends. He told me we could hangout for a little and he'd take me home from school. Also important to mention he has his license and me and most of my friends dont we're just turning 16 and most people procrastinated on getting our permits Im almost 17 and dont even have mine yet, so that kind of made him standout because people with their licenses and cars can get you around. Not that I was using him but it definetly stood out to me.

That day I had a huge argument with a friend and was literally sobbing the whole 6th period whic was the last class so I texted him and told him I wasnt in the mood and explained what was going on. He told me I should still come and hes here for me and we can talk about things so I agreed. Also I did tell him I knew he was going to try something but I was really sad and told him not to, so he said he wont.

He took me to my friends home after school and we drove around for a bit and talked alot. We actually got on really well hes not a shy kid and I liked that alot about him. He cheered me up and that was great. One thing he did say, "a kiss will make your day better" but I told him I'm not in the mood to do anything and we dropped it. Then he dropped me off and I was with my friend.

I saw he texted me, "come back out." I asked why and he started begging just for me to come for a couple minutes just to makeout and I told him again I dont want to. He basically started guilt tripping me saying we hit it off really well and he already told his friend he's gonna be late to hang out just so he could give me a ride and talk to me and if I could just come out for a couple minutes. He told me he thought we really got on well and eventually after a lot of texting, I decided to go back out, but I made sure to tell him only making out I'm not down for anything else.

We got in his car and he had parked somewhere and we talked a bit and then he eventually leaned in for a kiss. He asked to head to the back and we started making out and he was touching all over. Then he pulled away and asked if he could at least get his hands in (asking to finger me) I said no.

He started begging and saying things like "you know you want to, you know it will feel good." Again, part of me wanted to but I knew it was wrong so I said no. He wasn't taking no for an answer and started unbuckling my shorts as I was stoll saying no and he was tryingto reason with me. He was kissing my forehead and saying Im so pretty and its fine if we do stuff just once. At that moment I knew I wasn't getting out of it and was scared so I just said fine. Also detail Im usually not very good at sayingno so me even saying it at all was big for me and it was really hard when he was begging because I felt bad ik i shouldnt but he was guilt tripping me. He started fingering me and it really hurt cause he was kinda just shoving his fingers in and out really hard he didnt even start off slow. I was really scared I kept asking him to go slower and he would for a second then speed up again and it was obvious I was in pain. At some point he noticed and asked if I wanted only one finger which I said yes but it still hurt how agressively he was going.

Finally he took his fingers out and asked if I would give him and handjob. I said no and he said its only fair cause he just did something to me. I thought maybe if I just say yes he wont ask for more so I just did. Then he asked if I would just put my mouth on it and I told him no were not doing that. He said please just for 10 seconds I wont ask for anything more. I said no but the same thing happened and I just ended up giving him head. Then he asked to go down on me and the same pressuring conversation again.

My friend called me during so we stopped, and I answered, and she was telling me that her babysitter was getting suspicious that me and her had been out so long, she has younger siblings that the babysitter was there to watch. (We said we were getting doordash and my friend was waiting for me outside and knew I was hanging out with him.)

I kept telling him that I had to go, but he said "come on don't give me blue balls just make me finish and then you can go please." I had never given head before, so I don't really know what I was doing and he ended up having to finish himself off for the last minute, but I remember just feeling so disrespected like I wasn't even there because I was zoned out. He was grabbing my tits and slapping them while was jerking off with the other hand, and it just made me feel so degraded, and I didn't even wanna do stuff with him which I told him multiple times. It was also my first time giving and receiving oral, first time a guy seeingme down their. I didnt even enjoy any of it not even when we were just making out because I had already had a horrible day and I wasn't in the mood.

I got out of the car finally, and my friend was kind of mad that I had taken a while. She asked what I did with him and I just said making out because I didn't want to talk about it but later that day as we were hanging out in her her room she asked "what's wrong, why do you look so sad?" and I just started crying and I told her everything that happened. He didnt even text me to make sure I was in her house okay or if I was okay. He only texted me a couple hours later asking if my friend was gonna tell anybody and he didnt want rumors going around about us.

We texted the next day and I told him how I felt aboht the whole situation and how he didnt even ask if Im okay. We also talked about how he knew I didnt want to do anything but he had shifted from the old energy he used to have to really dry responses like he wanted nothing to do with me or what happened. He just kept telling me to move on from everything.

Its been a month since this incident and every time I see him at school, my heart drops. We have no contact anymore and it just breaks my heart my first time experiencing such thing was horrible and he didn't even care. The only reason he texted me is because of rumors that he had heard about me. I dont know if this was sexual assault coercion or if it was my fault and its regret Im feeling. All I know is it hurts. Please don't judge me, I know I shouldn't have even agreed to making out with a guy that I don't know that much. It's just common around here, but I know that's not the best decision-making and I know I shouldn't have got back into that car with him I just felt bad cause he kept talking anout how he gave me a ride home and blah blah. Im not the type of girl to just hookup with guys even if it seems like I am I have been trying to do better for God and have been for awhile and hadnt drank or hungout with guys in months so I was really hurt because I had been on a good streak in turning my life around.

!Additional Info! (if ur bored of reading you dont need to read this part u already know enough of the story)

About two weeks ago, this was before he went to no contact I sent him this message because I was really bothered by what happened in these are his responses copied and pasted. Could you guys give me some insight on what this message means like did he actually care he hurt me or what it just a bs response. Just a reminder, I said I'm calling the guy Oliver because it turned out I didn't need to refer to him as this in the story but I'm going to need to here. All things that are edited to hide personal information for me to remain anonymous is in [brackets] so that's anything that's changed from the original texts. Im also cross posting this to other communities to get more opinions so you may see this a couple times.

(Me)
Hi [Oliver] this is the final time Im going to reach out to you. I just wanted to say some final words that have been on my mind and let to you to know how I felt about the situation because it really hurt me which Ive said to you before. Im not saying that after what happened that we had to lock in or anything like that, you made it clear you didn't want anything serious beforehand which is completely fine, I didn't either but we could've atleast been friends or something, or even if we kept hanging out even if it was just doing stuff that would be different but you literally just were a dick and acted like nothing at all happened. I know your impression of me from rumors you heard which were untrue and not even close to what actually happened. Actually in the past Ive definitely heard alot about you but I put that aside because I judge people based off my experiences so I ignored everything I heard and really tried to see the good in you. After the sex talk [youth group (I had to chnage this bc it was the name of our youth group)]I saw your effort based off our short conversation that you were trying to change from your struggles of lust which I was proud of even though I barely knew you but I love Jesus and I love the church and it seemed like a big step in faith. Then the next day you were saying completely opposite things but I ignored it, we all slip up sometimes but things went too far when we actually hungout. Im not syaing that im perfect I make mistakes too but its the fact when things went too far you did absolutely nothing to even try to fix it. Its not that I care about you but I care about what happened like I literally can't not I cant control that believe me you don't know how hard I tried. Im not really expecting a response from this but you can if you find the need I dont really care I just wanted you to know where my heads at. The bottom line is if you wanna be the type of guy to beg an unwilling girl to hookup and take random girls you barely know to the back of your moms car act all obsessed and all over them, but then just turn around and treat them like shit, ignore them, and act like you've never talked to them a day in your life thats fine but just be aware of that and live with it dont try to act like someone you're not.

(Oliver)
woah
thank you reaching out
yeah ive changed every since
ive chaged for the better and really appreciate this text
thank you alot
but yeah it was indeed like a wake up call and ive turned around
thank you for reaching out
for sure we all slip up and yes I had a bad one
but yeah I love Jesus too hes great
and ive tried my hardest to regain my faith and ive been putting a lot of work into it
thank you alot for reaching out
and ofc I will respond
Im not that mean
that was really big of you to reach out like that
I respect that decision a lot and that was probably hard and I am very thankful for you to say such a good thin
And thats good that you told me this
I completely agree with everything you said. we do all slip up
and coming from me, someone that slips a lot clearly you know
like ofc there's a lot of rumors about me and it sucks
bc almost all of them aren't true
but at the end of the day I dont care and I only care about what my impact is going to be on other people and myself
and truly, I know I have apologized and I know its jot going to change anything but I am very sorry still and I am so glad that u are treating me the way you are still
thank you alot
you dont have to respond but I just wanted to thoroughly and kindly respond to what your said
thank you
you dont have to respond i dont really want to have to keep brijg this up
like ive been praying about it a lot
and I wish I could take it back

(Me)
Thank you so much for apologizing that really means alot to me and everything your response seems really genuine I can see alot of growth from last time we talked so keep doing what your doing God has an amazing plan for you

(Oliver)
thanks
you too
Out of genuine respect too
Can we not text
like sorry
its just I like someone
they are helping me grow closer to God too
and I just want to be loyal
thank you

I 16F became very hypersexual from a young age and I dont know what to do. After hours of research Ive determined that I possibly wanted a regain of control and thats what made me this way, wanted to do things with guys by my choice.

Its just really hard because I keep doin stupid things with stupid guys and watching things I shouldn't be and I wish I could just make it stop. Me and my friends joke about me being "freaky" and have done alot of stuff with guys too but I just dont think they understand how far its gone or why that is cause I dont talk to them about this stuff.

The first time it happened to me it was s family member that Ive kept very quiet about because I dont want to cause issues within my family. I was about 7 but he is an alcoholic now, and he is out of me and the majority of my families life. Sometimes I wish I could tell my mom but I dont have the courage yet.

The second time I was 14 at the beach. This was a small incident and it shook me. I was there with my mom and her friends but they were all adults and they werent getting in so I went in by myself. It was during the summer and I felt really confident about being in the water by myself and going far out but I was always told to stay near people incase something happens like a huge wave and they could possibly help me.
There was pretty much no one in the water except these two guys and I wasn't really thinking so I decided to just swim around near them to be catious because the beach wasn't busy that day so they were pretty much my only choice. I was in there for a while and I was doing little backflips in the water, I like to do it while the waves come but then suddenly when I was upside down I felt a hand rubbing my ass. I panicked and swam lower than resurfaced and noticed the men had distanced form me. At first I was unsure it was them and pretty shaken but they were the only guys within ten feet of me, I was so rattled I joined my mom and her friends but was too scared to tell them.

The third time was a week before my 16th birthday. Me and my friends were being stupid and we all got crossed (drunk and high) with this big group of guys so they could get us stuff. There was this one guy I had been good friends with since I was 12 who was there and I trusted who was sober. Long story short we went off together and he started touching me and ended up taking off my clothes at a playground and fingering me and shoving my head and pushing it down on his dick.

Lastly I dont know if these are sa or not more coercion but it definitely affected me. First this one guy Ive known for awhile asked to hookup and I kept telling him no and he kept begging okay just come makeout so we did then he started begging for a handjob and head and literally while I was still saying no just whipped his dick out and started begging more until I said yes that was october 2025. Second time was very recently month and this guy I knew from school asked to hangout and I told him Im only down to makeout. He agreed and then when we were he kept begging and begging for him to atleast put his hands in me. Backstory me and him go to the same youth group and we learned about sex about a week or two before we hungout. I told him no multiple times and told him we had to listen to what was taught but he disagreed. He begged until I said yes and then started to say oh now you have to give me a handjob its only fair cmon. I said no but finally agreed then he kept asking if I could put my mouth on it and then keot pushing my head down. Then he started to go down on me and I couldn't get out of this situation cause he parked his car and he was my ride home. He apologized after for pressuring me but it was hardly sincere.

Please if anyone can talk I would love to. I feel like Ive only had one fully consensual thing with a guy and that hurts and I just want to talk about it.