u/anonymoussnonymous

I feel like I’ve used so much of my life up just to be in a non competitive degree program and get way too stressed to where my family can’t help.

Backstory

Despite being an American man, I’ve really been focused on showing respect to my parents through one main way only—academics. This makes sense imo, as they have spent $200,000 total on my primary through tertiary education, letting me go to almost entirely private schools and making me graduate debt free. They’re middle class, not upper class, so they are sacrificing their financial image to help me.

When I was in 5th grade for a language arts class, I literally cried over forgetting what font I was supposed to use on an assignment at the start of the semester. I also cried if I forgot something at school and got headaches over that since I was in 2nd-3rd grade, as I was inconveniencing my parents.

I literally scored the highest on the tests in my private middle school‘s class several times over, especially for math. I remember all other students would have to do corrections, but I’d get 100%. I remember I had biweekly vocab quizzes in language arts, I had studied the wrong week, so I had only studied the vocab once 2 weeks prior and still got 100%.

My parents also had me do Coder Dojo and Code Club until 9th grade due to the pandemic, but they weren't that math based so I just kind of did them and moved along.

I got 720 on SAT math and 34 on ACT English, so I hoped that Purdue would let me in to their CS program.

Summer after junior year of high school, I got serious about getting SQL skills, signed up for senior year computing logic class, and took Calculus 1 at my community college over the summer.

My parents also paid for after school math programs for me since I was 6, and I was studying Calculus 2 at 16.

The Emotional Problems:

I already mentioned me crying at 5th grade, which I know is weird for a boy to do at that age, especially over school work. However, I continued to have issues down the road…

I missed a scholarship deadline in my senior year of high school and that was the first point in my life I genuinely wanted to just sit alone and not talk to people. I was on the verge of crying over a $500 Scholarship. My parents responded with “Why? That’s money out the door. I’m very unhappy with that. Do something.”

I then got rejected from Purdue, which I okayed as I could instead go to Rose-Hulman for CS, and went there. I didn‘t do well in a couple of classes my first year and had to transfer to Purdue. I got into Comp Eng Tech, but was too afraid I’d perform poorly like in the Rose-Hulman classes that I chose Chinese as my BA instead.

I later had gotten bad grades in my Chinese history class on 1-2 assignments, and also had overslept for a tutoring class that I was running. (My parents said I was oversleeping way too much starting at Rose-Hulman.) I genuinely cried the hardest I have in my life then, as my parents were highly concerned for me and thought I was not emotionally fit or maturely fit for college at all. They were crying as well, when I told them how sad I was.

I decided to persevere rather than go home that day, and continued on at Purdue, going through the days.

My parents obviously didn‘t want me to get a Chinese degree without technical skills, so I said I would try to apply for the slightly easier but very rigorous Computing Systems or Computer Info Tech degrees at Purdue to add to my Chinese major.

Purdue rejected me from both of those and I cried so hard and felt sick for 2-3 days. I added a Ball State online degree in Computer Info Tech, but still was upset as that’s a place “lazy“ community college students and low GPA students transfer to. I didn’t believe I was that at all, as I wasn’t!

It’s now been around a year since that horrible week, and I am studying Chinese at Purdue and Computer Info Tech at Ball State online.

I honestly have felt like I am at the lowest point in my life since the first time I cried over Purdue, but I don’t want to tell my parents as I don’t want to worry them and is kind of immature.

They love me with all their heart, but I have failed to fulfill what they really wanted and what I have worked for all 20 years of my life.

It‘s honestly disgusting to see how much they spent on my education for me to build it to basically just a mildly difficult career, while everyone I see around me at Purdue has parents that sent them to a public school and they are achieving much more than I have.

I know my parents really are disappointed as they said I shouldn’t ever join the Military as it’s not for me when I was in Rose-Hulman. However, now they’re like “because you were forced to transfer out of Rose-Hulman due to your poor performance, it’s the only feasible, straightforward career I see!”

Literally mentioning education in front of them makes them get upset to where they don’t feel like eating. For example, I was hanging out on a trip discussing serious academics with one of my parents and told them how I’m lucky I got into Purdue as many people on Purdue‘s discord are like “I wouldn’t have gotten in today fr.” My parent responded, “they were definitely in a more competitive program.” Then I was like, “yeah, but why couldn’t Purdue let me in to data science, I had the math and computing logic skills and classes!” They then were shocked and said I needed to grow up so much, as that was unacceptable and gross to say in their opinion.

I feel very passionate over this as I want to make $200,000+ after I graduate starting out, just like the top new graduates from Purdue CS.

I honestly don’t know how to build my life back together, but I know I’m very blessed and loved by my parents. Is anyone in a situation like this? What do I do?

Since I got my first Android in 5th grade in late 2017, I took so many photos…of just benign everyday things, on and off vacation. I also got into anime in my senior year of high school, and tried drawing. By the summer after my Junior year of college, I had 30,000 photos between my Google Photos, notes, and photos on my Android.

I saw my parents’ photobooks they had as kids, and they told me how they have only seen 3-4 photos total of my great-grandparents, making those moments special.

A few days later, I pondered on it—I spend so many hours a day looking at old photos and wishing I had changed what I did in the past—why not just delete most of them and keep only 3-4 photos per person I know?

I did that, now I have deleted 99%+ of my old photos and have only 3-4 per person I know. It feels so much better. Now, I really try to cherish whenever I’m with my family and friends, and quit taking a bunch of photos.

Ofc, I still have the photos of my apartment leases‘ conditions saved, for legal documentation purposes, but that’s it.

Hopefully, this will be a stronger start to my senior year of college. It’s hard to believe it took me almost 9 years to do this.

I feel like both Heaven and Hell and Don’t Click Play were very well ordered, but this is how I would have put Diamonds and Dancefloors:

1. Diamonds and Dancefloors

2. Million Dollar Baby

3. Turn Off The Lights

4. Last Night On Earth

5. Dancing’s Done

6. Maybe You’re The Problem

7. Sleepwalker

8. Ghost

9. Hold Up (Wait A Minute)

10. In The Dark

11. Cold as Ice

12. Weapons

13. Get Outta My Heart

14. One Of Us

tbh, I’d remove a few of the tracks to make the tracklist more coherent or to make a deluxe version, I’d rerelease specifically these as my favorites…

1. Million Dollar Baby

2. Turn Off The Lights

3. Last Night On Earth

4. Maybe You’re the Problem

5. Sleepwalker

6. Ghost

7. Get Outta My Heart

8. One Of Us

I was rejected after an application and CODO attempt for Data Science, Computing Systems, and Computer and Information Technology. I ended up taking Chinese as my Purdue BA and studying a Computer and Information Technology BS at Ball State.

It really was frustrating, as I took Calculus 2 and Computing Logic my Senior year of high school, had a 34 on my ACT English, and got 720 on my SAT Math.

With how weak the USD is performing right now, I have been considering exchanging some to get some Renminbi Yuan (from the PRC), either digitally or physically via an American credit union.

Will this cause an issue with getting a Top Secret security clearance?

I’ve been looking all over the place online, and I couldn’t find whether or not AZ-802 requires labs. If so, what microsoft practice materials would be best for reviewing for it?

My Purdue major is a BA in Chinese (approaching senior year), and I just love the liberal arts department here! (My BS in Computer Info Tech is at Ball State Online.)

First of all, our Chinese degree program requires you take 9 Chinese Language classes (incl. reading and writing practice), while every other university in Indiana (including IU) just requires 6 or less.

The Chinese history classes by Professor Margaret Tillman are amazing, as she loves to teach you different sides and perspectives of Chinese history, along with interpretations. This includes both communist and nationalist.

The Communications professor I had was very cool, as we got to do a book report of our choice for the final. I did mine on the psychology of how social media impacts perception of the world. He was really interested in this, as he was getting a PHD focused on a similar field in STEM combined with writing techniques (from my memory).

My Chinese program professors are really cool, and I even have one from Taiwan. They largely present in Chinese for maximum immersion and job preparation once you pass the 300-level classes.

I strongly recommend it to any families looking at getting their student a liberal arts degree. People who take up one of the last in-demand liberal arts field AI hasn’t mastered yet, like Chinese, are given more options when it comes to finding a job when combined with technical skills.

It’s kind of cool imo that she has a variety of music. She isn’t trying for just recreating the same songs over and over again. I’d say most male and female pop artists don’t try to improve from their hit single, meanwhile she didn’t just go for the same “light disco girl pop” vibes Sweet But Psycho had.

For example, Heaven and Hell did include her hit single, but it also tried to go for an interesting two-sided emotional/spiritual theme for the album. That’s much more experimental than artists like Taylor Swift or Katy Perry would provide on a new album they roll out. All of the songs in Heaven and Hell sound unique from each other due to the unique lyricism and theming (between emotional struggles, party anthems, appropriately put spiritual references) whereas TPD by Taylor Swift has got the same structure and meaning in most songs.

Salt is one of my favorite tracks in H&H. It has got a combination of a violin sample with a slapping beat, strong melodic tension, and it leaves it to the listener as to what the “salt” is.

I also like how hardcore EDM fans would love Diamonds and Dancefloors, especially. Turn Off the Lights is kind of like a Daft Punk song.

She even uses new synth pads I haven’t heard before in any music, including non-pop music, especially in songs like Rumors or Born to the Night.

Ava Max even has a few good guitar tracks. Lost Your Faith is one of my favorites.

Finally, Don’t Click Play is a great album and I love how she switches between song styles throughout the album. While some of the album sounds like Dua Lipa, I liked it when she did a fun, energetic song with How Can I Dance where the piano synth pad was the major focus. It felt like an EDM version of Legends Never Die (the league of legends song), but 1000x cooler and with so much more passion. Know Somebody is good as a warning to others, as it has lyrics that mention how people close to you can betray you. It really stood out with her ending bridge, as she felt like she was giving her all as to asking why there are dangerous people and thoughts out there.

Overall, she is really thoughtful as to how people need to take life seriously through her lyrics (rather than being into plain debauchery). That isn’t common in mainstream modern pop imo, and she also delivers several fun instrumentals.

I’m looking for an advanced-level Chinese tutor at Purdue University this summer (online). I will give you my discord to contact me via.

I would like one that has either completed CHNS 401/402 or writes and speaks it as a native language. This is because I am planning on taking CHNS 401 this fall. I have no preference as to if you know simplified or traditional, as long as Mandarin is your first spoken language.

My Lenovo Thinkpad was required to be purchased by my university that I transferred out of two years ago. It is the worst device I’ve ever had. I do not recommend anyone buy one.

~~~Hardware and Software Failure~~~

The Thinkpad is so poorly built, as it was designed with a high powered processor that is of no use, as the cooling system is so cheap that you can BSOD your PC easily. I got a new update from my previous university’s IT department to fix it, but then, 3 years later (this April), I got an error saying the backup BIOS was being used as my main BIOS failed out of nowhere.

It wasn’t a big deal, as I just reinstalled the BIOS and it worked just fine. Sometimes I had to use the emergency reset button to get it to work, but that wasn’t a big deal.

One month later (this May), as I was starting online summer classes, the PC completely black screened on startup…just a power/charging light and some fan noise…no display, no nothing.

I called Lenovo Support and it is getting fixed under my 4 year warranty (fortunately, all of my data got backed up and wiped days before the issue occurred). After that, I am selling whatever they send back (probably a replacement laptop as my Thinkpad is smoked) and buying from one of my previous brands that was of decent quality…ASUS or HP. Honestly, I might even get an Apple if I don’t need Windows for any classes.

Also, if anyone was wondering, 3 of 30 other people had similar issues with their PC out of the box on my dorm floor (same make and model, mind you). I think it’s a joke that r/thinkpad boasts it as “durable” when it can’t even turn on after just 3 years of use.

Modern PCs should last at least 7 years, and even then, they should not just turn black (they normally run very slow and that’s it).

~~~Cost~~~

Also, I spent $2,500 on this computer, and I would be so ticked off if I couldn’t get it repaired under the warranty window I barely fit in. That literally would have been $2,500/3 years = $850+/year for a laptop.

The HP Pavilion 15 2015 Version I got was just $400 new and lasted me 5 years before it was pretty slow and hard to use. Absolutely no issues occurred with the hardware or software.

$400/5 years = $80 per year

My ASUS Vivobook 15 2020 Version was just around $1,200 with essentially the same specs as the Thinkpad (2gb vram vs 4gb vram was the difference). It is still running perfectly in 2026 with no issue other than a minor camera glitch that was patched with a software update. I expect it to last me until 2035, tbh.

$1,200/15 years = $80 per year

I’ve never owned a Mac, but I know several people whose MacBooks lasted 10 years without problems. They cost the same or less than the Thinkpad.

I’m on my third year and feeling really good about it. I also only have a couple of classes left next year, so I’m getting a Ball State online degree in CINT in the meantime!

If you want to study wt. me, just let me know and I’ll tell you how to contact me.