u/antinataIism

I'm turning 30 this year. My life is just never-ending loneliness and the desire for companionship. I have been through so many rejections, I've been ghosted countless of times. I've had a few short relationships that ultimately failed. I have moved abroad not long ago and I've been struggling a lot with making friends and dating. Just failures after failures. Ghosted, rejected, even blocked for whatever reason. I think the common denominator is me.

No matter what I do - hobbies, jobs, events, meetups - this desire for companionship never shuts up and lately it's been overwhelming. I am tired of doing everything alone. I wish for someone next to me. Talk, hug, do something together. Sit by the river, drink coffee. Have someone to come home to.

Not only dating is exhausting in itself, I'm also antinatalist and of course childfree, which means that the already small pool is even smaller. The thought of my future just being never ending emptiness and loneliness feels bleak. Some people are happy being single, travelling, doing hobbies. That's just not me.

Ultimately, it reassures my antinatalist stance even more because why would I bring anyone here to a world where 3/4 of life is spent in crippling loneliness and struggling to connect.

I’m 30 and living abroad. I’m a pretty boring guy. Most of the things I enjoy doing are solitary. I love sitting at home, drinking tea or coffee, listening to music, reading. I also like riding my bicycle or going for walks, feeding pigeons, etc. But I’ve been single for a while. Apps are terrible, so I’ve been doing what people recommend, trying different hobbies and going to lots of events. I’ve even been going to pubs, which I honestly don’t enjoy at all. Always so loud and crowded.

But it’s exhausting. The truth is, I don’t enjoy most of these things. I just want to find a wife I can be cozy with at home. Even the hobbies I seem to somewhat enjoy are things I probably wouldn’t care about if I weren’t hoping to meet someone.

On the other hand, if I only do what I enjoy, I’ll probably never meet anyone. Especially since I don't want to have kids which limits my pool greatly. And yet hobbies don’t really seem to be working either. I’ve met some people, but I just don’t really vibe with most of the people I meet.

I see lots of women who are my type every day when I’m commuting, but cold approaches feel very awkward, and I don’t want to bother anyone in public...

Her personality is fantastic, we vibed so well, and we dream of the same lifestyle - countryside, animals... but of course she wants kids. I mean, what do I expect? Every woman who wants this kind of lifestyle seems to want kids. Yeah I'm afraid I'll be alone forever.