u/aoshi0203

先々月から貯めてた家計簿と、牛乳パックの解体とヒモでまとめるやつ、ぐちゃぐちゃの領収書の整理、書類の整頓をやり遂げました。やったね

I’m studying English, but since I’m an introvert, I find myself wanting to focus on reading and listening rather than speaking.
In terms of priority, I imagine it goes something like this: reading, listening, speaking, writing…
Are there any people out there who study English and, while they can’t speak or write very well, are able to read and understand what they hear?

By the way, I'm using a translation tool for this text.

「accurate（正確）」と「precise（精密）」のニュアンスを調べて、自分なりに解釈したんだけど……この理解で合ってる？

お題が「羊の絵を描いてください」だった場合：
**・**Person A**：細かくてリアルなタッチで羊を描いた（accurate + precise）**
**・**Person B**：絵は下手くそだったけど、羊を描いた（accurate）**
**・**Person C**：細かくてリアルなタッチでヤギを描いた（precise）**

……これで合ってる？

I looked up the nuances of "accurate" vs. "precise" and interpreted them in my own way... Is this understanding correct?

Given the prompt "Please draw a picture of a sheep":
**・**Person A: Drew a sheep with a detailed, realistic style (accurate + precise)
**・**Person B: Drew a sheep, even though the drawing was clumsy (accurate)
**・**Person C: Drew a goat with a detailed, realistic style (precise)

...Is that right?

英語の勉強のために半年以上前に単語帳を買って、その中に、初めて知るinvolve**（巻き込む）って単語があった。**
それを見た時に何気なく「この単語の発音、クーフーリンの持ってる槍の名前に似てるな……」と思って、それ以来この単語を見ると頭の中に「何か厄介なことに巻き込まれて困ってる槍ニキ」がポップアップするようになってしまい……
**半年以上経った今日、久しぶりに単語帳を回してみたら、**involve =巻き込まれてる槍ニキ=巻き込むがちゃんと想起されて笑ってしまった。
こういう、自分なりの連想ゲームで覚える暗記方法は効果的だって聞いてたけど、ほんとに定着するとは思わなかった😂この方法オススメ！！

TOEICの勉強してるんだけど、-ed, -ingの二つの動詞の変化形が能動態・受動態だったり進行形だったり動名詞だったり過去形だったり過去分詞・現在分詞だったりで複数の役割があるので、それを判別できなくて頭の中でめちゃくちゃになるのがしんどい😂今日はもう勉強するのやめる！

**・**My older sister: Two years older, neurotypical, able-bodied, married, independent and living in a large, beautiful apartment complex, living a more affluent life than I am, a hard worker; she views life with the attitude that "even if it's hell, that's fine, because there are still little moments of fun," is emotionally stable, works as a full-time employee, graduated from art college, and lives about two hours away from me.

**・**Me: In my 30s, female with AuDHD, struggles with boundaries, low self-esteem, extremely sensitive to failure or my own inability to do things, recently started living alone in a small apartment, intend to remain single for life because other people cause me intense stress, unable to stop thinking in black-and-white terms, contract employee, graduated from an art vocational school but work in an unrelated field.

I recently started feeling upset about having been blocked by someone on Twitter a few years ago (I’ll skip the details as it’s a digression), so I called my sister to talk about it. Although we follow each other on Twitter, I’ve actually had her muted in secret for a long time because her posts about her happy, fulfilling life ("ria-juu" posts) are painful for me to see. When I brought up the blocking incident, she made a very rational point: "If I had a follower posting things like 'I hope all the happy couples explode,' I’d think, 'We just don't click,' and block them. That’s just how people are—we’re bound to hurt someone eventually." That comment triggered a realization of just how much I actually resent her, and I ended up fixating entirely on that. I lashed out at her: "Must be nice for you—having a spouse who accepts you, a stable life, and the perspective to see a Twitter block as a trivial matter. I’m one of those people who thinks 'I hope happy couples explode,' so I’m the kind of person you’d block, right? So why haven't you done it?" I ended up completely attacking her. My older sister, who is emotionally mature and stable, calmly reasoned with me: "The reason I haven't blocked you is because you're my own sister and I love your art. I also noticed you had me muted; and while you never explicitly tweeted about it or said it to my face, I realized you envied the fact that I’m married." When I honestly admitted, "You have everything I don't, and you maintain such firm boundaries—I both envy and hate you for it. I know everyone has their own personal hell, but I’ve created a hell of my own making and am suffering in it," she replied, "I was raised strictly as the eldest child, and I’ve always envied your manual dexterity. But now, I’ve come to accept that it’s okay for me to be in hell, too." Hearing that made me feel sick of everything.
Crying, I asked, "So does that mean I’m better off dead? If I said I was going to die right now, would you come over to this house and save me?" She answered, "I can't come over right now, but I don't want you to die. I hope you recover soon; it’s hot out, so please try to stay cool, get some sleep, watch things you like, and calm down." Even though she surely wanted to cry herself, she listened to me the whole time; unable to bear the feeling of my own insignificance—and skipping over the details of how it happened—I ended up blocking her on the messaging app.

I know I was the one who initiated the conversation, got angry on my own, and rejected her. I hate that I stole her time just to vent my grievances. I didn't want to hurt her any further, so I convinced myself that I could never see her again.

Whenever I saw my sister, I tried so hard to be a "good person" and hid my true feelings, yet I was shocked when she told me she had realized all along that I envied her marriage and stable life. That conversation happened two days ago, but since I’m currently on leave, I haven't been able to stop feeling angry about it; I’ve just been staying in bed, crying and unable to get up.

I’ve never felt this kind of jealousy toward my older sister before, and now that it’s taken such a concrete form, it’s incredibly painful. I know I ruined everything through my own selfish actions—initiating the conversation, letting myself get down, and then shutting her out—but I just can't shake the anger. My suicidal thoughts have become intense, too; it’s all so overwhelming that I’ve already called in to say I’ll be absent from work tomorrow.

I’ve been agonizing over this for three days, and I posted here because I just wanted someone to listen.

Sorry for the long, rambling post. Thanks for reading this far.

I'm Japanese, so I'm using a translation tool.

I live alone, so on days off when I don't have plans to see anyone, I really ought to be doing things like cleaning or cooking—but if I don't have an appointment with someone, I just end up sleeping like a corpse... I want to find a way to deal with this, so I was wondering if anyone here uses Focusmate? Or if there are any similar services out there?
I feel like "body doubling" is my only option, because if I don't force myself to interact with people, I'll just sleep the whole time.

I have AuDHD and get bored incredibly easily. I’ve long wanted to create and stick to a weekly plan of things I need to do, but I just can't seem to keep it up...
Is there a community somewhere where people share their daily plans or report on the tasks they’ve completed?
I’d really appreciate it if you could let me know.