Moin!
Ich wollte mal fragen, ob jemand hier gute YouTube Kanäle kennt, die sich mit dem Thema Transsexualität befassen, sei es ausschließlich oder ab und zu. Englisch- und deutschsprachig ist mir beides Recht. Ich bin aber explizit auf der Suche nach Kanälen mit einem Fokus auf Trans****sexualität, nicht Transgender/Nichtbinär/etc.
Danke schonmal vorab und liebe Grüße!
As many of you will know, willomancy is the supposed practice of 'creating' parts/'headmates'.
It's both used by people claiming to be diagnosed with (p)DID who for some reason want more or specific parts and those who don't even have (p)DID in the first place but want to be "plural" regardless. I'd like to focus on the second group here. I've noticed that numerous people claimed to have successfully "willowed" parts and now identify as a system. They claim to experience switching, sometimes even with amnesia and other experiences typically observed in genuine (p)DID patients.
Obviously, they are not actually experiencing (p)DID as it forms through repeated childhood trauma. But that leaves the question, what DO they experience? Of course, a sizeable chunk will just be lying but some seem to genuinely be certain they are "plural" now. To me it seems like there is some ... change in experience there and I would like to hear your theories of what's actually behind that. Again, I'm not implying it's a genuine phenomenon, I'm wondering what could make them experience what they seem to be experiencing.
Sideblog of the same person I already posted, found in the wild. Be careful if you happen to be a survivor of CSA, it gets quite triggering in my humble opinion. I'm just so tired. What makes you post that. And why.
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Hello, I would like to ask about a specific experience I have. I have been diagnosed with DID for many years but can't currently access trauma therapy. Before I had started trauma therapy in the past, I was aware of a handful of parts, which were all very "normal". A guy, a teenaged girl, a toddler, that kind of stuff. When they fronted, I was co-conscious. However, once we went into therapy, it was like the someone ripped open the closet of our brain and so many parts fell out, without me having any control over it. Parts that I had no idea about and whose fronting was connected to intense dissociation and amnesia. One of them said they were "making the fog", whatever that means. Shortly after that, we went like batshit in terms of addiction and got kicked from therapy. We spent quite a few years denying our DID until about half a year ago, when we were getting sober. By now I know that there are a bunch of switches in my day to day life but those are usually "outside parts", with no trauma memories than what we collectively know (religious, physical and emotional abuse by our father) and subtle differences. The "inside parts" are so different though. They are all so fantastical, a cat that only meows, a mermaid, an angel, a puppet, a fairy, a demon, etc. They usually only come out after smoking our prescription weed, though only very rarely. Them fronting is always tied to the feeling of loosing our mind, including the strangest hallucinations, which we don't usually experience. Multiple also expressed that they don't usually come out and that something must have gone wrong.
Another strange thing is that most of them are mute, many can't see normally because our eyes ... jitter like crazy and the majority can't use their legs or really feel anything below the waist. When the mermaid fronted it physically felt like ... a fishtail and we couldn't separate our legs. When the doll fronted, our teeth hurt, we could feel the wood and moved in the creepiest way, like a puppet. When we closed our eyes we saw a bright light, like on a stage and strange hooded figures controlling us from above. Others can't walk normally to the point that it looks like we have Cerebral Palsy when they front and need a walker. By now I also know that we do have a headspace, though I struggle to access it. It's in a wooded area with a house with a bunch of parts in there and I know that there is stuff beyond the woods as the fairy can access that but once we tried to go there, we literally got sucked up into the sky and put of the headspace and that's how she fronted for the first time.
We didn't grow up in a fantasy prone household at all so I have no idea where any of this comes from. I asked my mum, who we are very good with and she can't explain it either. Can anyone relate to this or does anyone have any idea what that could mean? I genuinely feel like I'm going insane sometimes. It's all a little bit too fantastical for my "liking".
This was posted into the DID tags and the (public) DID/OSDD community on Tumblr, aka in a space where people experienced exactly what this person describes (the CSA and incest, not ... everything else) just unfortunately in real life. Please write an incest fan fiction on AO3 or something instead of ... all this.
I hope the pictures are in the right order, they posted SO much and Reddit is a bit confusing with pictures.
I wanted to share the video that literally changed my life because I am very certain that many people can benefit from it, whether they are unsure if they experience romantic attraction or just want to hear from someone who is very intentional about romance in their relationships reflect on it with a lot of nuance.
My Femme/queerplatonic partner and I started off as romantic partners. One day I stumbled across this video by Meghansandorschielke titled "Polyamory, Relationship Anarchy & Queerplatonic Partnerships: Are they really the same thing?". In it she explains how her ideal relation set up would be having one QPP for daily domestic life who she lives with and a second, romantic partner, who she doesn't live with. That is because she often made the experience that that being a good romantic lover and a good partner are two separate things. She experienced that daily domestic oftentimes overtook her romantic relationships when they lived together, which hurt her a lot because she values romance a lot.
That's how I realised that alloro people actually *enjoy* romantic pursuits and the act of dating and that it's not something they just perform more or less passionately because that's just what you do to have a partnership.
[A little ramble about our QPR if anyone is interested]
I love my partner but don't experience *romantic* attraction or only very limited during short bursts maybe. I made the very good choice to talk to my Femme about it that day instead of keeping it inside. Turns out both of us were secretly worried that the other person was missing the romance in our relationship. Turns out both of us saw romance as a chore and a necessity to perform in order to have the committed domestic partnership we were actually seeking and to make our partner happy. Turns out we were both aro. Turns out what we were doing all along was pretty much a QPR without even being aware of it.
That fundamentally changed our partnership for the better times a million. We are now 100% honest with each othe and finally feel safe and secure. The best part is that we don't *have* to do any of the stuff that typically is considered romantic because it's not what defines our relationship. And if we do want to and happen to have the energy to actually do it (we're both severely disabled which plays a big part here), we can do it safely as we're not in a romantic relationship where that is needed and the focus. That continues to be so healing for us, as we're both trauma survivors with experienced coercion in all kinds of relationships.
So anyway, I hope this helps anyone! I can actually recommend it to basically anyone as it brings up quite a few questions that everyone would benefit from reflecting on I am sure.
Happy Pride from me (an aplatonic, queerplatonic bellusromantic lesbian & transmasculine/FTM transsexual, androgyne/bigender stone butch)!
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Video:
"Polyamory, Relationship Anarchy & Queerplatonic Partnerships: Are they really the same thing?" by Meghansandorschielke