u/ardentlywriting

I haven't explored YA novels. What's one you would recommend? One that you see as a must read.

Thank you in advance!!

Is it more difficult for a man to get over a crush/someone they developed limerance over when the woman is really beautiful?

I have a friend, she's really introverted but looks very beautiful. Not hot, not sexy, just very beautiful. Dresses very modest. Honestly, even in her 30s, teenage guys will do a double take, she's that pretty. She oddly doesn't really date, nor is she married. She's straight but just haven't found anyone.

So..I've noticed A LOT of guys have crushed on her before. Admittedly I hated her for a period of time cuz i realized the guy I fancied had the biggest crush on her....even though they have never had an actual conversation. So it was more like limerance for him and she had no clue.

There has been more than a handful of men in my circle developing crushes and limerance on her (some were even married, but it's not even like she flirted with them, literally she doesnt talk much). And...there were a few times when we ran into men who used to like her, and even after months or years...they still look stunned when they see her. Like...the eyes, you can tell those men are affected by her.

So.. my question is, is it really looks that make it difficult to get over your crush? Or is it something else? Honestly, this is so mysterious to me, ive even wondered if she casted a spell or something.

Please enlighten me, I low key want what she has.. but maybe not since she's way too introverted.

What are the reasons for staring at a girl? Is it a form of aggression?

For the past few months, there is a guy who has been staring at me at a badminton drop in, it might be a coincidence but he would also come sit near me or behind me. I see in my peripheral vision and through reflections that he kept staring at me. Sometimes he'd also walk pass me closely between courts or cross my line of view in courts (walking unnecessarily close by me).

This went on for months, until one day he came with a girl. I assume she is his girlfriend. What's weird is that the girl kept glancing at me (i saw through reflections and peripheral vision), and when my group walked past them, she was sitting next to the guy, and my friend kinda saw her staring/glaring at me...and she all of a sudden gripped on to her guy. It was kinda weird.

I'm kinda shy and have social anxiety so I never really look directly at the guy, or the girl. But even though I'm shy, it's not like I behave in a strange manner in public, the staring felt really uncomfortable, and now with the girlfriend staring/glaring.. kinda feels like bullying and invasive. I don't know, the girl glaring made me feel like I did something wrong.

This got me wondering if i some how offended the guy, or the girl?? If he was staring but never approached me, I don't think it was rude of me to ignore and go on with my life?

What are your thoughts? Why would you keep staring at someone?

I've (21f) had plenty of crushes in my live, but never did I think my male friend (21m) - let's call him Dave- has been crushing on me. I missed all the signs, but in retrospect, there were blaring signals.

In my defense, Dave had a crush on my best friend for nearly 5 years before she moved away, and it's been 3ish years since, so not sure if he treated me as a back up or what. I never talked about Dave crushing on her with my best friend, but the whole school pretty much knew.

So we hang out pretty frequently, and because I know of his persistence crush on my friend. I never really held back with him, I was very comfortable and was grossly myself around him and felt he, too, saw me as a close friend. The signs I missed:

1. He wanted to hang out with me on his birthdays. I thought I might be his only available friend.

2. He always valued my opinion on everything. I thought it was odd but didnt think much of it. Kinda thought "never thought of you as a clingy person, but ok"

3. He asked if I thought he's attractive. I think i could've handled this better, but I saw him as a true bro, a friend. So I was like "dude, I've seen you at your worst. Nothing you do is attractive to me" I seriously hope I didn't hurt him that time.

4. He went on a trip far far away, he planned a hang out before leaving and asked if I wanted anything. I mildly remember he mentioned he didn't ask anyone else, but I didn't think much about it back then. So I asked for postcards. I didn't even think about it and thought he'd bring them back the next time we met, but he actually mailed them to me wherever he went with messages of what he saw and thought.

5. this trip of his...i was still asleep one morning and suddenly received a call from his mom telling me his flight was cancelled or delayed or something but he caught a connecting flight and wanted her to let me know....I think this should have been obvious to me, but I took the message literally and was kinda confused about why I needed to know, so I was like "oh okay, thanks for letting me know."

6. yeah.. and then he eventually asked me to be his girlfriend...even when he asked, I had no clue what he was asking.

I think i suck as a friend, and I'm just sharing my story as I really wish I was more attentive to his feelings. I don't share the same feelings as him, but I'm not sure if he felt led on, which would not have been intentional, and I would feel very sorry if this was the case. I just feel bad that I didn't know earlier, I would've better handled the entire friendship/situation.

I'm really sorry i took this friendship for granted, and i think he wants to salvage the friendship too as he acted like nothing happened after I rejected him. I feel so bad to the point where I want to rewind and correct myself.

Sorry, this might be like a reverse crush story but just wanted to let it out somewhere. Thanks for reading.