u/aredhel304

As stated in the post my sibling lives overseas. He very likely will not be able to return if I pass away. I want the process to go as smoothly as possible and as such want to designate him as a beneficiary on a bank account, but I cannot get any confident answers from banks about whether he’ll be able to do that living abroad.

I was thinking of making a special account for him with CapitalOne since they have a lot of mobile banking features, but then I read here in their Q&A that beneficiaries can’t transfer the funds to another CapitalOne account or an account at another bank. “We can only settle accounts through the issuance of checks in the name of the deceased’s estate or beneficiaries on the account.”

That might be okay if they can mail the check to a foreign country. Or if they can mail the check to a different sibling who can forward it on. But he has no permanent address in the US.

Otherwise my current bank says you have to come retrieve your funds in person. And I can’t seem to find any banks that sound like they’ll do this, or really any information on the topic at all about getting funds to beneficiaries who live overseas.

If I just let it go to probate through my will is that actually going to change anything? Will he still have to come collect his money in person? Any experience with CapitalOne and how they issue the check? Any bank recommendations? Thanks so much.

This is a Western Ukraine surname that I’m curious about. Is it simply an identifier indicating a name is a surname or does it have a specific meaning beyond that? But there’s other Ukrainian surnames that have a different ending so I wonder why this specific one would’ve been chosen?

Only context I can give is that it was the family name at or before the 1930s. I’m not sure when exactly it was given just that it dates back to the 1930s at least.

If you have questions I can try to answer them to the best of my ability. Thanks!!

One by one my condition has slowly taken my passions and capabilities away from me throughout my life. And one by one people have used me or simply abandoned me, and now I’m practically completely alone.

I lost all my passions from figure skating to singing to art. Then I became complete disabled. Then my doctor abandoned me. Then I had men try and sexually take advantage of me. Then my sister moved away. Then I got domestically abused. Then my therapist dropped me. Then I lost my job of 7 years. Then my little brother even stopped talking to me because I’m too depressed. And my parents never even cared about me or believed me in the first place. Soon I’ll be homeless.

I used to be so strong willed, determined, goofy, and cheerful. Everyone forgot that and they just see the broken me now. I have become nothing. Every day I just sink lower and lower. I’m slipping. And there’s no one around to stop it.

Society doesn’t care to keep you alive if you’re not able-bodied. I’m in therapy again but I don’t even feel like trying anymore. I don’t feel like trying to make new fiends or connect with a case manager. I just feel empty and defeated and a shell of my former self. I had so much potential… but I was born with a body that can’t sustain it. My life feels like a waste. No one will remember me for who I was, and I am nothing.

These are lines from a show I used to like:

This is a world that has ended.
Nothing is born, nothing dies.
Even time does not exist.
If I were looking for somewhere to be born,
I don't think I should choose this world.
There is a person in a world such as this.
A girl living alone in a world that has ended.
A girl who lives in a vacant, unmoving world.

My illness that I was born with feels like being born into a world that has already ended. I am here, but my body ensured I had no real chance at life.

I’m not sure if anyone else can relate. But I’ve tried so hard. I just feel like society has eroded every part of me, as if my illness hasn’t already taken enough. And now between the two, I’ve lost everything that made me… me.