I hate the Hackney Half Marathon
I woke up, as I always do around this time of year, wondering if there was a massive illegal rave going on.
Pounding music fills the air and vibrates through the house.
My usually quiet street is filling up with strangers.
Two cars which were parked in the way had their windows smashed to gain entry and have been hauled away.
The next street to mine has 4 porta-potties installed but people will still choose to piss in the street and assist their little children to piss in the street.
Soon, the strangers in the street will start blowing whistles, clanking cowbells and occasionally screaming.
Yes. It's the Hackney Half Marathon.