u/atoad_aso

I went chronic sometime in January and February it got really really bad. Quality of life fell apart completely. I already struggle with severe depression and have my whole life, long before the migraines — I’ve been hospitalized before. Well, no surprise, the migraines didn’t help and I recently ended up in the psych ward last week for a fourth attempt in my life. But I’m here, even if I have mixed feelings about that. This is the first shred of hope I’ve felt in a very very very long time. I hope this post can make someone feel better, some of your posts have helped me when nothing else could. Hang in there ♥️

My only experience was via ER at GW psych unit in late 2024 and was there 5 days. I was not allowed to bring anything with me including medications or face lotion or a stuffed animal etc. It was nice though because it was such low occupancy that I ended up with my own room the entire time. I’m curious if anyone has had recent experience at Sibley or any others in the general DC area (my insurance will cover whatever if it’s ER admittance) and can share. All the experience I can find on reddit is well over 1-2 years old and a lot can change. Thanks!

In my 12 summers here, I swear this is the fewest mosquitoes I’ve ever experienced here. I don’t know if I’ve even been bit yet. Usually I’m covered in bites. Granted I’ve spent a good chunk of this summer inside due to some bad health issues, but I’m still going outside 4-5 days a week and walking or commuting and no bites. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

I was at GW psych unit for 5 days back in 2025 and it was my first time so I have nothing to compare it to. It was awful in that being in a psych ward sucks a$$ in general and we were kind of neglected lol just sat around and colored and watched tv. But it was good in that it was empty and quiet, only like three other patients, so I had my own room (HUGE for me) and the food could’ve been worse, and I was able to use their phone to call friends and I was able to have visitors. I’m doing badly again and trying to figure out where to go if I need to go somewhere again, and I’m torn. I keep seeing people recommend Sibley, but those posts are kind of old, and a lot of people are saying that it’s always packed and chaotic and they end up getting transferred. Idgaf about being able to use my phone or have my own clothes or whatever if I’m at the point I have to go to the ER. I have my own therapist and psychiatrist, the point of going to the ER for me would be for immediate safety, not because I need a new plan or team. Any recent insight in the last year ish would be welcome.

The injections weren’t so bad, I mean they hurt, it felt like a bunch of bee stings but it was over fast enough and I’d take that every day forever over chronic migraines lol. I did look into it a bit before I went in and it seems common that people get an attack later that day, which happened to me. I took my Ubrelvy during the prodrome and it seemed to have thwarted it for now. But right now, almost 12 hours later, I just feel icky. Nothing horrible, just kinda bad—like achey and nauseous that general “sick” feeling yknow? I’m such a health anxious person, so any kind of reassurance you can provide would be extremely welcome. Thank you!

I'm struggling to understand whether a dynamic from my marriage was emotionally abusive, sexually coercive, neither, or something in between.

I'm now 31F. During the first year of my relationship with my husband, now 32M, everything was wonderful. We had a healthy sex life and I felt safe and connected to him.

About a year into the relationship, he started drinking heavily. When he drank, I often felt completely unattracted to him because it reminded me of my alcoholic, abusive parents (he has a similar background). I explained this to him many times.

The problem was that he had an impossible time accepting "no" when it came to sex.

He wasn't physically violent or verbally abusive. But, he would repeatedly ask after I said no, and by repeatedly I mean like 20-30 times a day, for years. Comments like "Come on, just a quickie," "Please," or "It's been days” or “you know you’ll enjoy it” or “I’ve been so good I deserve a treat.”

If we went more than a couple days without sex, it often led to arguments about how his needs weren't being met, and how he needed sex to feel loved and I was making him feel undesirable. Sometimes he would become distant or cold. At least once, he told me his drinking was getting worse because we weren't having enough sex.

I repeatedly tried to explain that I needed to feel safe saying no. I wanted to be able to decline sex sometimes without feeling guilty, pressured, or responsible for his emotional state.

Nothing seemed to change.

Over time, I became completely detached from sex. I would sometimes cry during it and hide my face so he wouldn't notice. Sometimes the sex was really physically painful due to my cycle or other health issues and he’s really big (and also, we’d been having sex so much, and I’d had no excitement and there was no lube)… but I still went along with it because I didn't want another argument, guilt trip, or period of tension. I was so tired.

I got to the point where I felt numb. I started wondering if I was asexual because I had no desire. This went on for four, five years.

Throughout that time, I repeatedly told him how much the drinking and sexual pressure were hurting me. I begged for couples counseling and asked him to go to therapy. He vehemently refused. It was also clear that he didn’t actually feel like he was doing anything wrong and didn’t feel remorse.

It took me a long time to even understand what was happening was wrong. It took even longer to identify it as coercive. And once I got into therapy and realized that it had forever changed how I engage with sex and I felt like I was recovering from trauma, it made me feel like it was another form of abuse I had endured. But I also don’t know if it’s even fair to call it that since it’s not like he slapped or hit me or called me names, like my dad did. And I don’t want to invalidate survivors.

I'm genuinely asking because I still struggle to make sense of what happened, and I'd appreciate hearing from people who have experience with abusive relationship dynamics.

I’m 31F and my husband is 33M. We started dating when I was 24 and he was 25.

The first year of our relationship was wonderful. We had a great sex life, a lot of fun together, and I genuinely felt like I'd found my soulmate.

About a year in, lockdown happened. My husband started drinking heavily, and that's when our sexual dynamic changed.

He was never physically violent, threatening, or verbally abusive. However, when he drank, I felt completely unattracted to him because it reminded me of my alcoholic, abusive parents. I explained this to him many times.

Despite that, he would repeatedly ask for sex after I said no. Sometimes it was "Aw come onnnn babe," "Pleaseeeeee it’ll be so fun, I deserve it" "It's been days!!," or similar comments. He would ask constantly throughout the day despite my saying no. Eventually I would give in just to make the asking stop.

Part of the reason was that if we went more than a few days without sex, it often turned into an argument about how his sexual needs weren't being met, how he needed sex to feel loved, how I was making him feel undesired. And sometimes, he’d withdraw and be cold. I felt trapped between having sex I didn't want and dealing with conflict I desperately wanted to avoid.

I repeatedly tried to explain that I needed to feel safe saying no, but he never seemed willing to understand my perspective.

Over time I became completely detached. I would sometimes cry during sex and hide my face so he wouldn't notice. Sometimes sex was painful due to my cycle or other health issues, but I still went along with it because I didn't want another argument. It was obvious I wasn't enjoying myself, but I felt numb and resigned. Eventually I started wondering if I was asexual.

For years I told him how much the drinking and sexual pressure were hurting me. I begged for couples counseling. I asked him to go to therapy. He refused every time.

After about five years of this, I was emotionally exhausted. During the final 1.5 months of our marriage, I developed feelings for a mutual friend and became emotionally unfaithful. Looking back, I think it could have been almost anyone. What mattered was that he made me realize I was still capable of feeling attraction and desire, and that I wasn't broken. Reasons aside, I acknowledge this was wrong and hurtful. I regret it very much.

Alas, that realization convinced me I needed to leave.

I didn't tell my husband about the brief emotional affair at the time, although he suspected something. When I left, he begged me to stay and promised to change. That was incredibly painful because I'd spent years asking for exactly that. I felt like he didn’t care about me at all.

We separated for a year. During that time, both of us believed the marriage was headed for divorce, and we each dated other people. I became physically involved with the man I'd developed feelings for, but he also turned out to be someone who didn't respect my boundaries and pressured me sexually. It made me realize how distorted my understanding of intimacy had become. I had started to believe sex was what made me worthy of love. I ended up very sick and trying to hurt myself and was hospitalized for an attempt as a result of severe depression during this time.

During our separation, my husband finally went to therapy, took responsibility for his behavior, and apologized extensively. We eventually decided to reconcile.

Things have honestly been pretty good since then. However, I recently told him the full truth about the emotional affair that happened before I left. He is understandably devastated and I’m taking full accountability for my actions, and giving him space to be upset as he deserves to be.

Where we're struggling is that he views my emotional infidelity at the breaking point of our marriage as worse than the years of sexual pressure and coercive dynamics that preceded it. I don't really see relationships as a scorecard, but I do feel that what happened in our marriage fundamentally changed my relationship with sex and left lasting trauma.

Am I unreasonable for viewing that dynamic as emotionally abusive, even though he never used force, threats, or violence? And viewing it as just as bad as what I did? I never denied that my actions were deeply hurtful. I understand that.

TLDR: My husband spent years pressuring me into sex after I said no, often repeatedly asking until I gave in. I became detached, miserable, and sometimes cried during sex. After years of failed attempts to get him/us into therapy or counseling, I developed feelings for someone else in the last month or two and left. During our separation, my husband finally got help, took responsibility, and we eventually reconciled. Now that I’ve disclosed the emotional infidelity that happened before our separation, he believes my actions are worse than his years of sexual pressure. Am I wrong for viewing the sexual dynamic I experienced as abusive and traumatic?

Yall are the only community that will understand. I’m chronic and it’s a nightmare. Working with a neuro to find a treatment plan. Barometric pressure is my number 1 trigger. It was pretty devastating to learn that indeed CA kinda fixed the migraine problem. I was coughing up a lung and worshipping the porcelain God for days but I felt better than I do here, because I knew there was an end, and I didn’t have the painful never ending headache and neurological symptoms of the migraines. I wish I had money to up and move but I don’t. I am not even kidding when I say I’d rather go through food poisoning once a month than have another migraine ever again. I’m saying that having just had violent food poisoning that had me napping next to a toilet. People do not understand how bad migraines are

Chronic migraine sufferer. Sumatriptan was the first I tried and the side effects were so horrible I don’t even know if it helped, I felt like I had been slipped some kind of awful drug and could barely stand up or speak and was feeling worse than I did with the migraine.

Rizatriptan has done the same thing several times to me now. I’ll take it at the onset of a migraine even with pain with some Advil and it knocks it out. I repeat the dose 2 hours later when symptoms return. Then like clockwork, <36-48 hours later, the migraine returns more intensely than it began, so I redose. It helps, but less relief and I start to feel run down. Then again, like clockwork, ~36-48 hours later, I am slammed with a horrifically painful migraine that’s significantly worse than the one I began with, and the medicine doesn’t even touch it a little bit.

You would think this would be a case of MOH. But this happens when I’ve only taken Triptans the three times in an entire month long stretch. I otherwise use my Ubrelvy, I just don’t get enough of it so I try to save it for when I really need it. This same cycle has happened three times now. It’s made my migraines come back worse than ever. Without them, the topamax has reduced the pain level, even though it hasn’t reduced the frequency.

The neuro wants to put me on Naratriptan due to the longer half life but I’m really cautious because this is the third round of steroids I’m having to do in three months, and the fact that the Maxalt just stops working all together is not promising. I’m curious if anyone else has had this happen.

Last time I took a flight after going chronic it was a complete and utter disaster. I didn’t prepare correctly (I’m early in my chronic migraine journey).

I can’t take triptans anymore. The only rescue I have right now is Ubrelvy, and my supply is limited. I’m saving what I have since this is for my husband’s dad’s funeral and I want to be able to be there for him.

Barometric pressure is my main trigger that I can’t control so yeah planes suck. How do yall recommend taking your abortives for plane travel? And experience with Ubrelvy specifically?

I’m on 50mg Topamax for the last 2 months, and have to take NSAIDs super sparingly because I just left urgent care with a suspected gastric ulcer starting to form :/ currently on a third round of steroids in two months smh. I hate my neuro. She literally is negligent and doesn’t answer anything once. Thankfully I have a new neuro appointment May 20.

I was seeing a neuro when my migraines started getting worse over the winter. It was fine but she is not a specialist and things were getting worse, and I finally got an appointment with a neuro who is a board certified headache specialist thinking this would be great. Her bio states she is committed to helping people live lives with debilitating headaches disorders. Seemed promising to me.

Not only was the appointment awful and rushed (video appointment but still), she didn’t listen to anything I had to say. I have no treatment plan forward right now and only 8 Ubrelvy pills a month which, given my diagnosis that SHE gave me of chronic intractable migraine, is enough for like one week. Topamax isn’t cutting it, she said so herself. At the end of our appointment she said “ok try triptans again and we’ll talk in four months.” I told her triptans make my migraines worse, but I tried them again and lo and behold I wound up missing more work and in urgent care. I still cannot get ahold of her and I’m on steroids AGAIN for the third time in 2 months. Genuinely what the fuck do I do??? I have called daily, I can’t get ahold of anyone. I’m at a loss and I’m not going to lie, my depression is really getting the best of me. I’m significantly disabled, risking losing my job, I have no social life and I am losing my will to live.

My next appointment with her is in July. I’m just supposed to go f myself until then?