u/atty_at_paw

Husband and I (36f) are both lawyers (so he gets it), although I have the significantly more demanding job. I’ve been practicing for over a decade, and with very few exceptions, I have never taken work stress out on him.

This year has been the worst of my life stress-wise. I’m having physical and mental health issues, and my career is all consuming in a bad way. I’m actively working on my health (therapy, meds, physical therapy, seeing specialists, etc.). I don’t take those things out on my husband. But I snap and get into arguments when I’m extra overwhelmed at work.

I don’t know why I’m doing this or how to stop. I am generally not an angry or irritable person….like, at all. I don’t pick fights or enjoy arguments. I don’t know why I’m reacting the way I am to everything right now. I know I’m taking it out on my husband because he’s a safe space. But it’s not fair to him.

Am I burnt out? Is this perimenopause? Is it depression presenting as irritability?

The career issues are temporary (a fix is coming - restructuring my role + several new hires). If it doesn’t improve after that fix I will make changes. But how do I survive the next 9 months to a year?

Sometimes I wish I never experienced all those good years, because maybe now it wouldn’t be as hard. I’ve lost almost every single thing that brought me joy. I don’t even like to think about happy memories, because it only emphasizes how terrible and small my life has become.

Here’s to another Saturday of ice caps and cancelled plans.

I’m on preventative emgality, and I use nurtec as a rescue. I get 20-25 migraines a month, so 8 nurtec and 9 triptans means I still have 3-8 migraines a month I can’t treat. I use gabapentin and Nerivio as abortives, but they are not consistent enough to get me through.

Is there any chance I could also get nurtec approved as a preventative so I get 2 packs? While the emgality obviously isn’t a miracle for me, I do think it’s helped with the severity.

I have a stockpile of nurtec, but I only have enough for 3-4 months at my current use rate. I’m so scared about what is going to happen when I run out. I don’t know what to do.

I’ve heard there are studies proving safety of daily use, and my neurologist says there’s no limit to how much I can take, it’s the insurance limits.

The drug is pricey now, but I wonder if more options will open up when generics become available.

I’d do almost anything to get daily access. I have 20-25 migraine days a month despite trying almost every single preventative option available. With controlled triptan use, I still have 11-15 migraines days a month.

Yes, I know as a preventative I can get 16 nurtec. But if I did this, I’d have to stop emgality, which I’m fairly confident is keeping the severity down enough to let nurtec work most of the time. I’ve previously tried nurtec as a preventative, and it didn’t lower my frequency at all.

I’m chronic, and my worst days are when I wake up with a migraine. Sometimes double triptan injections won’t even work.

My neuro suggested trying Trudhesa on those days instead. She gave me all the warnings about not taking triptans within 24 hours. But she also warned me that some people can have bad side effects.

How bad is it really? Does anybody find it’s worth it? Or are the side effects worse than a migraine that won’t break?

I’m in-house now, and I don’t have a suit or suit dresses. Can I wear a satin pleated skirt with a nice blazer for a mediation? Or do I need at least a more structured suit dress? I’m an attorney, but I’m the client for purposes of the mediation.

I gained over 20lbs from a medication, and I’m very self-conscious right now. I’m a 16, but I need curvy fit (even at my smallest size 6, I always struggled with straight cut dresses and bottoms because I’m very pear shaped). Any suggestions if I need to make a purchase? I know Ann Taylor has size 16, but I’d have to go with something A-Line given how straight the cuts generally are.

Like many of us, I carry a literal pharmacy everywhere I go. Right now I have a basic little plastic, rectangular container and then I keep my sumatriptan injectors in the zippered purse pocket.

Does anybody have a carrier or organizational system that they love? Should my injectors be in some sort of case?

I need something slightly larger since I have a few different meds I carry with me. I used to be self conscious about carrying so many meds and tried to use things that weren’t obviously pill containers, but idgaf anymore and want something practical!

I’d like to buy a few fun gemstone rings without breaking the bank. They won’t be for daily wear, but I do see myself wearing them often. This would be through a reputable Etsy seller. Not sure if the rules allow me to name them.

All of my current rings are white gold. I’m very interested in getting a few rings in silver because of the cost savings. I know nothing about silver other than that it tarnishes. Are there other cons to silver rings with gemstone? Anything I need be be aware of before buying a couple?

I’m in a weird situation. I’m in-house (so the client) on a case that’s in heavy discovery right now. Without getting into specifics and doxxing myself, opposing counsel is aggressive, threatening, and likely has some untreated mental health problems. I’ve never encountered someone with as much unchecked rage as him before. I’ve been practicing for over a decade, and I have plenty of experience litigating with unpredictable and angry attorneys. This man is on an entirely different level.

When I’m in depositions with him, my body goes into flight or fight mode. I am thankfully never alone in a room with him, and I do not have legitimate concerns for my physical safety. Despite this, I’ve never experienced a physical reaction like this to anyone before. There is also a strange dynamic because I am the client, so I’m not actively engaging with him. I think maybe this adds to my feelings of helplessness?

Local counsel (also a man) has called OC out on the record for being sexist towards me. He is acutely aware of the situation and how OC treats women. He’s 100% an ally, but there’s understandably not much he can do other than trying to keep the room as calm as possible.

Is there anything I can do to help my body relax before these experiences? I dress in something that makes me feel confident, I listen to my favorite music driving to the depositions, and I do a lot of deep breathing during the actual depo. I try to sit close to the door to give myself reassurance that I can leave if needed. I still end up feeling like I was hit by a bus the next day because I’m so tense the entire time.

Does anybody have any advice for dealing with a person like this?

I’m on day 3 of a migraine that won’t break. I’m maxed out on triptans and nurtec, and I just had an at home IV (toradol, zofran, Benadryl, and magnesium) that didn’t even make a dent in the pain.

I’m hoping I can ride this out and the steroid taper will kick in soon. If not, other than DHE, is there anything the ER can do? I’ve seen people on here say they’ve gotten ketamine at the ER, but I imagine it has to be pretty extreme to get that?

I’m hoping I don’t need to go to the ER, but it makes me feel better to at least know what my options are. I’m surviving at the moment, but I’m worried if the pain gets worse that I won’t be able to handle it. I’ll message my doctor tomorrow if things aren’t better too.