u/avillageofbigheads

Are you all feeling positive ? I somehow fear its going to go closer to 10 than the other way :(

This happened 2 decades ago. I didn't participate in the beating. But I stood silently and watched them do it. It was such a barbaric thing to do, but it was seen as normal then. that memory has haunted me for years. anyway, I wanted to talk about it, not only for the selfish reason that I don't have to hold that memory in any longer, but I believe this sort of stuff still happens and it needs to be called out.

There's this very popular opinion article written by Alain De Botton called " why you will marry the wrong person " . I used to be a romantic before i read/heard about Alain de botton. But then i turned realist. I ended up marrying some i was dating for a while. Being a Tamil boy with religious/traditonal parents, telling my parents about the girl i was dating was never an option. They always wanted me to marry a nice Tamil ponnu. Well, i ended up marrying a Korean woman. We are married for few years now. Recently we visited TN and one of my relatives who found it frustrating that my wife couldn't speak Tamil blurted " Nee orru nalla tamil ponnu kalyanam panni irrundha , intha prachanai irrukkathu " . Even before i got married, when all my relatives were pressuring me to let them find me a girl for me, i steadfastly refused. Like any international marriage, there are a lot of cultural differences, but my missus is understanding and we've made this work. I tell this to my wife " you are not perfect, but you are perfect for me". She'd prefer i skip the first half of that sentence :p. In any case, some of my relatives think that I did marry the wrong person ( My mom loves my wife though ). But it got me thinking, mostly along the lines of social, cultural structure, for all those who married a nice Tamil ponnu OR Tamil paiyyan, do you think you married the wrong person in spite of all the similarities and Why?