u/axk00

hi everyone!

we have friends that recently had a baby, and they invited us over. i think their baby is around 3-5 months old. i was wondering what is the etiquette to visiting new parents, this is also their first child.

i was thinking a home cooked meal, like lasagna maybe? my husband makes amazing lasagna. and for a gift i was thinking of crocheting a soft, cute baby safety blanket with the cute animal head kind, from cotton. i’m thinking it’s soft enough. or is there a better option?

i’m not very knowledgeable about the etiquette of visiting new parents, but id assume they’re tired and that we should focus on spending time together, not them hosting us.

any kind of tips or advice would be appreciated, thank you! ♥️

say a couple gets married without any prenup. if they ever divorce, does the wealth, assets and property get split in half for both parties?

and is it ONLY what was accumulated/gained after getting married, or also what the individuals owned before getting married?

thank you beforehand, i don’t have much knowledge of this so if anyone who knows these things and laws surrounding it could answer it id appreciate it a lot!

i’m 12 weeks today and 26 years old.

my nausea has thankfully gotten a little bit better, but the fatigue is truly debilitating. i slept for 13 hours straight today and i’ve still struggled to stay awake the whole day.

i’m in my second year of university and it’s burning me out so badly. it just started but still. my uni is like 45 mins with public transport one way. it was fine before. but if i stand or sit for too long im in so much pain and discomfort, even with compression socks. there are other pregnant women studying and working, i know. that makes me feel like im failing.

i have borderline personality disorder, ptsd, anxiety and depression. the entire cocktail. i’ve gotten so much better and im proud of myself. but i have stopped all my meds since last summer when we started trying with my husband. it hasn’t made it easier but i was fine and managing well before pregnancy.

i’m thinking if im constantly burnt out, in pain, exhausted, stressed, SO tired, it’s not good for me and its not good for my baby either. i want to take a sick leave and do like 1 course per this semester and think about the next. i’m just so scared of falling behind. i knew pregnancy would affect my studies, but now that it’s happening i feel like im failing so much. i feel like a complete failure. my hemoglobin is normal and good, we checked it. there’s nothing wrong with me and there’s nothing i can fix.

next year i’ll miss a lot of uni anyways when my baby is born. i’m just so torn. what if it’s all in my head? i know it sounds really stupid, coz logically i know its not. i’m just so exhausted and there’s nothing i can do, and the thought of studying part time makes me feel like a complete failure, like i failed as a human being. i don’t know what to do.

i guess im looking for perspective, experiences and advice. anything is appreciated. thank you beforehand

so i’m 11 weeks pregnant right now and just discovered that getting sick during pregnancy is dangerous for pregnant women and the baby.

i never knew this before and i didn’t know how serious it can be.

our second year at uni started 2 weeks ago and usually around this time i always get sick and now im terrified. is it really that dangerous? what can i do to prevent getting sick? i’m just so surprised. any advice would be appreciated!

and honestly, more angry than sad.

fatherhood starts from pregnancy. not childbirth. what do you mean you’re cheating on your woman in her most vulnerable state ever? when she needs the most love, support and understanding? a real man’s job in this situation is to protect and provide with everything we need.

i’m so tired of pregnancy being normalized. people talk about it like it’s such a normal thing. how giving birth is like taking a trip to the grocery store. why are we talking about it like planning dinner?

not to fear monger but to be realistic, anything can happen. complications can happen. complications after birth can happen. our body changes DRASTICALLY.

and i’m tired of people saying “it’s not a sickness”. yeah it’s not. everyone’s pregnancy is different. but how do i feel? you’re telling me that i have no right to rest, to take time off, for extra accommodation? i’m here struggling to stay awake, throwing up, having food aversions, struggling to sleep, experiencing prenatal depression, rollercoaster of emotions, pain, discomfort and it means nothing? somehow im equal compared to a non pregnant, and i should be doing the same amount with no complaints?

it’s inhumane. it’s unfair. pregnant are struggling the most they ever have in my opinion. all these demands of society to continue working, taking care of existing children and housework WITHOUT a community. people used to help. people used to bring you food. people used to do small acts of kindness. people were more understanding. and now we are entitled if we want someone to give up their spot in public transport?

i feel like society is going backwards. treatment of pregnant women. normalized hatred of babies and toddlers in public. shame on mothers no matter what we do and how hard we try to do our best. i never saw the reality until i got pregnant myself. men who refuse to even understand or read about what we’re going through.

just very, very tired. i feel very sad. obviously this is not every pregnant woman’s reality and that makes me happy. but i sadly see this side of life a lot

hi!

just wondering how common is it for first time mothers/young mothers and mothers in general to buy second hand clothes, cribs, furniture and strollers for their baby/kids?

is it considered normal overall or only something upper middle class people do? is it looked down upon at all? i mean would people assume that you’re very low income or can’t afford these?

more specifically i’d like to know about baby and children’s clothing.

hope it’s not a weird question, thank you in advance!

6w+4d today. i did a test this morning and the super dark dye went straight ACROSS the test. the test line is a bit lighter than the control line. a week ago the test line was much darker than the control line. i am so worried. how do i link pictures here? i wanted to show the test. it’s basically a bit lighter than the control line and has a dark line in the middle so it looks uneven. the line comes from the dye going across it.

i also noticed i have a bit less nausea today, and that my boobs are a bit less sore. i don’t know if im imagining it, especially the sore boobs part. they feel a bit less sore. idk.

i’m panicking really hard. my husband thinks it’s because the test is overwhelmed by the super high hormone levels. he also googled it, something to do with “hook effect” or something?

no cramping and no bleeding. general nausea and exhaustion is still here.

i need some advice and insight. what’s going on? i’m very scared.

i just posted about me bleeding after sex after around 30 mins at 6+0 weeks. i first got a very light pink discharge, a bit more red one, and now im just getting a super light colored quite consistently every wipe after 2 ish hours or so. no cramping so far.

i wish the bleeding gradually slowing would reassure me. unfortunately that’s how my last miscarriage began.

light pink spotting, reddish blood, light reddish blood, more red bleeding, light again, grainy on the course of 2 days and finally a proper bleeding and pain on the 3rd day.

it’s making me hesitant to trust the receding bleeding.

i’m wondering if anyone else has had a miscarriage scare, and was there a certain point when you were relived that it passed?

they don’t check for anything let alone accept me anywhere for this reason in my country in northern europe. last time they told me if it’s a miscarriage they can do nothing anyways and i should just wait it out so that isn’t an option. if i went to a private clinic and they checked if it was fine, would that count for anything? if this gets better during the weekend.

i just don’t know what to do or how to reassure myself or if i should brace myself

i’m not here to ask if this is a miscarriage, because i know it’s impossible to know without severe pain and bleeding. and this is a very individual thing.

i’m here to ask if anyone has had some bleeding after sex, but the pregnancy proceeded normally?

the sex wasn’t rough at all. it was quite careful. the bleeding happened maybe after 30 mins to an hour after sex. first super light spotting. then a bit more red, that gradually faded with a couple wipes. i don’t have pain, maybe a bit of aching sensation on the lower belly area. i’ve gotten this before, maybe im paying extra attention to it now idk.

i’d appreciate any kind of experience and advice. google said it can be normal, but how common and how normal are these?

hi everyone,

i’m on my 6th week and i’ve been breaking out so badly 😭 on my face, my neck, i even got a blemish on my collarbone.

i’m extremely insecure as this has added to one of the many unpleasant pregnancy symptoms. i tried reading about salicylic acid and some sources say it’s not allowed while some say 2% wash off is okay.

i already started using glycolic acid and use this ac cica mask from medicube, azelaic acid and barrier cream.

is there anything i can do? please help! 😢

the boarding pass lady asked me if i was pregnant. i said yes. she asked how far along and i said 6 weeks.

she said “6 weeks? not 6 months?”

i have already been feeling fat and huge and enormous and ashamed because of how huge my belly is now. i couldn’t even reply. i just went to the line and tried not to cry.

i think she just wanted to be sure that there is no language barrier because i would need a doctor’s note at some point to be allowed to fly. she was just doing her job. but still 🥲

pretty much the title. when i think about a woman that a man would be obsessed with, the first thing that comes to mind is quite stereotypical. someone a bit or moderately unstable, extremely physically attractive, has a lot of sexual/feminine energy and puts a lot of effort into their clothes and makeup. someone who has a lot of highs and lows.

in my opinion Nichol is a very naturally pretty woman. but she also dresses very “comfortably” or “plain” (i don’t know if this is the right word), doesn’t wear makeup, works in a male dominated field and is into outdoorsy stuff.

why and how did he become this obsessed with her so quickly and so deeply? for what qualities of hers? to the point where he went as far as he did just to be with her.

i’m just curious. what are your thoughts?

Hey everyone,

Me and my husband are traveling to Crete in a couple days. We want to visit Elafonissi, Gramvousa and Balos. I have never traveled there before so I wanted to ask some questions.

I was wondering if it’s possible/normal to snorkel there? I read that the water is quite shallow. Is it shallow around a significant area, or just near the shore?

And if we do snorkel, how likely are we to see any kind of marine life? And what kind of animals?

Lastly, where do people leave their stuff on the beach? Is it normal to just leave the bags there, and is it safe?

Is there any other beach etiquette anything else we should know? :)

Thank you so much beforehand!

Hey everyone, this is the first time I’ve written about this and I’m looking for advice and perspective. Please be gentle.

I am 26F, very happily married to the best husband ever.

I had a breakup around 1,5 years ago. My ex was 26 while I was 24 if that helps. We were on and off for about a year.

I was his first relationship. He was extremely obsessive and unstable. He has BPD. I do too. I got pregnant right away by accident when we got together. We were both really shocked. He turned abusive. He would abuse me verbally. He would be cruel. He would deny me food while I was pregnant and get mad if I took food from his fridge. He refused to pay anything for me or for the baby. He would be so happy that I was pregnant one day, and pressure me to get an abortion the other. He would break up with me when he was angry then come back later. Eventually, I blocked him everywhere.

I unfortunately miscarried around the 3 month mark. It was extremely traumatic, my body reacted really strongly and I almost died and lost a lot of blood. I was in pain and bleeding for months. He reached out to me on a platform I forgot to block him in. I thought for a long time if I should tell him or not, and thought telling him would be the right thing to do. We met up and I told him. He cried a lot and apologized so much. Promised to change. Begged to try again. And I was young, alone and stupid, so I agreed.

He did improve on some things during the relationship. But it was extremely unstable. He had anger issues. He started verbally abusing me. He got physical. He would punch and kick walls or whatever was infront of him. He would throw things. He would threaten. He eventually broke up with me one day out of nowhere. He begged again to come over to talk and apologize. We argued. He got angry and raised his hand to hit me. That was it for me. I ended things for real and blocked him everywhere despite the begging and crying.

I was all alone. A couple friends, no family, no money, no support. I was extremely scarred from losing my baby and his abuse.

Every time we were on and off, he would go find a girl to talk to ASAP. Even if she wasn’t his type and even if he didn’t like her. The second I took him back, he’d stop talking to them. He told me he doesn’t want to be alone. He had a lot of self hate and bad self esteem. His family enabled him until the end and coddled him. He went on dates and was on dating apps DAYS after we broke up. He would keep calling me crying because the dates and other girls didn’t make him feel better.

I eventually met my now husband and he was EVERYTHING my ex wasn’t. I need to say again that I am extremely happy with my life. My husband bought us my dream apartment, rings, wedding was beautiful, I got into a really prestigious university and had a glow up and I’m really happy with my life.

I know this is wrong, but I stalked him on my alt account. He got a girlfriend around the same time I met my now husband. Spends time traveling around. She speaks the same language I did. So far on social media, he looks happy and I don’t know the girl but she looks nice.

I repeat, I do NOT want this man back under any circumstance and I have no feelings for him.

What is holding me back from fully healing and moving on is the injustice and all the unanswered questions in my mind.

Why does he deserve to be in a stable relationship? Breakups are hard, but they are not supposed to destroy people’s lives this way and leave them so broken physically and alone. I believe we have responsibility towards one another at least as HUMANS.

Can’t she see his red flags? Doesn’t he get verbally or physically abusive with her?

Where is karmic justice? I believe in karma and I believe I got my good karma that I deserved. And now where is his?

How can he destroy someone’s life and abuse someone so vulnerable this badly, and move on like nothing happened?

Maybe there is something I am missing. A question, a perspective, a point. I don’t know. But this is the best way I can explain it. I don’t want to stalk him anymore. I don’t want to care. And I don’t care. The second I see his downfall I’d be satisfied with karma and never look back. That’s all I want. Maybe that makes me a bad person, I don’t know. This is just extremely destabilizing and it’s making me question right and wrong, morality and justice. And how the world works and why.

I’d appreciate anything and everything and I’m open to criticism. I want to understand this better and move on fully, because I deserve that.

Thank you a lot beforehand.