Hey guys,
If anyone is travelling late August, would love to have people to travel with. Planning to go around 17 Aug or so, and would love to do horse riding in the valleys and such. Would also be good to rent a 4x4. I enjoy cinematic travel type videos but happy to really film anything and everything!
I (25f) have two guys interested in me (24m and 26m). The younger guy, sparks fly every time we’re together, we get along so well to the point where we understand each other without the other person saying something. We laugh like we never have before and I’ve probably only felt this energy with my best friend and my first love. We both have the same morals and values and praise each other highly on them and view each other very well. However, we have broken up twice before. I note that my faults have been being argumentative, with a fearful avoidant tendency and he ended up breaking up with me because he didn’t see eye to eye on one of my boundaries and didn’t think a partner shouldn’t care about those things which to him was an incompatibility in morals (which he since then has said he was silly for and he now agrees with the boundary I had). I do think I pushed him a bit to become less accommodating though because I was unaware of my fears. The second breakup, i had the same tendencies and we broke up because honestly I wasn’t able to curb my toxicity in time, again starting fights. Since then, i have gone sober (was addicted to weed) and have been going therapy regularly to work on my issues. We seem to keep finding our way to each other like unfinished business, such as being in the same place at the right time. Good thing to note is we are both very stubborn.
The second guy I have been slight friends with since 6 years ago. He is extremely sweet, and he takes care of all my emotional needs, I know I can count on him with that easily and he makes me feel seen and heard and honestly, just identified whenever I’m self sabotaging so it snaps me back to reality. He has done a lot for me, and goes through the effort to drop off gift baskets when I’m sick. He is patient and easy going so there’s honestly nothing I could really fight with him about because he calls me out on my bs when needed and also just is kinda okay with everything lol so me being stubborn isn’t an issue. However, although I do find him funny sometimes, we don’t get along like ice and water, I don’t find myself laughing and having those insanely long chats where I love everything he’s saying and I’m so in awe.
Both guys are honestly very sweet and attentive and adore me, there’s nothing I can rlly fault about their morals and values. They’re loving and generous and honestly it’s very confusing. I’m currently just friends with both but they are both trying to or would pursue.
I wanted to know for those who have found their soulmate/ are very happy in long term relationships, how did you know they were the one? How did it start off as well? Was it passionate and an instant connection? What do you guys think
TL;DR, two guys I’m friends with but are interested, one is an ex (2-3 months) broke up twice and we have what I would consider to be a twin flame connection, and another is someone I’ve known for ages who meets all my emotional needs and is stable and patient and I know I wouldn’t have any fights with and would work out long term but we don’t have that instant fiery spark and get along like water and ice
I've only been seeing him for about a month and a half. Within this period, he has broken up with me and wanted to get back tgt immediately after, and we've had countless fights. I'm not sure whether to stay and work things out as feelings have faded a bit on my side, however he has started therapy and also wants to change and has been able to make progress (he has issues with communicating, guilt tripping, being passive aggressive and he has a fearful avoidant attachment style which has since turned into mainly just a fearful attachment). I have grown more intolerable of his behavior since and now, even when he isn't near as bad as how he was and shows genuine remorse, I feel like I am not as forgiving to when he gets upset about things like me changing plans or missing a few of his msgs, which is understandable from his side. How do you know when the relationship is no longer serving its purpose? Note that I am generally unforgiving in a normal relationship and stubborn and I rlly appreciate him making the effort to be better. I'm not sure if I cut people off too fast, he's driven 6 hours just to see me.
He hasn’t done anything to make me feel like he’d break up again and he did say he was just scared. I don’t doubt he doesn’t want to lose me at all