u/ba82319

So I was discarded im May. He didnt go no contact he wanted to remain friends. It was difficult cuz I wanted to be more obviously. He knows im in love with him and I want a future with him, and I thought he wanted that too. He kept telling me "you want more and I couldn't". I know he started sleeping with his ex again, he never denied it. I made the mistake of talking to one of his friends about the situation to get some insight. His friend told me to wait 6 months, and that my jow ex does love me. Told my ex this and he denies ever talking to his friend about me like that. Fast forward to this past Tuesday when he was in town he agreed to have coffee with me. He had just got back from 3 weeks in Europe. Asked him why he was there for 3 weeks, he said "I didnt want to deal with things so I ran". I asked him to his face if he was running away from me and avoiding me, he said yes without hesitation.

I just want to know why they run like this. He won't completely cut me off. I asked him if he wanted to talk to me again he said IDK. I asked if he wanted me part of his life he said IDK. Everything he answerd with was IDK. I texted him afterwards and said "I won't bother him anymore. And I wished the both of them (him and his ex) the best in life. He then texted right away and said wait what im not dating her and she knows that why are u saying goodbye.

I dont understand why the hell he wants from me.

How do avoidants become what they are? Is it childhood trauma? A bit of autism? I couldn't figure out why my now ex is the way he is. I tried, but he wouldnt tell me.

Does every Avoidant lie alot? Like I didnt realize how many lies he told me so he didnt have to fess up to the truth until after the discard. And I keep finding more and more. I know I will prolly never get answers out of him, but seriously wtf. Of maybe the whole "relationship " was just in my head and he never had any feelings for me. 😮‍💨

So i may need some help on tinder to catch guy in Brazil right now. He's cheating and I want to catch him. Anyone available? Message me

Do all or most avoidants go back to their ex's they were together with for years? Because of history.. comfort.. they can be their avoidant self and not have to own up to accountabilites with someone new? Mine left to get back with his ex. They broke up over 3 years ago, but were together for 6. He pretty much ghosted me before actually ending things with me. He cheated with her, and she has no idea about me.

Maybe im trying to pull at strings trying to understand all this.. idk. But God damnit I thought we had a very good thing going. Apparently he thought it was just a "fling". Flings dont go on vacation together, spend months and months together talking all day everyday, they don't discuss babies and how many and where we would raise them. He begged me to meet his friends, co-workers.. everything. He pretty much lived with me. Then all of the sudden boom... gone.

He still send me reels on insta. But not talking hardly at all. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I thought I'd found a good one.

I miss him soo damn much! I stopped replying to him. Ive left him on read, but it hurts soo much! Do they ever feel the loss of not talking everyday anymore?

Why does an avoidant keep me around if he broke things off with me? He still will do things I asked of him without hesitation. I asked him why.. he says "you asked me to". I dont understand. He says he does t know what he wants but yet keeps me around. Hes asked for space before and came back. I dont think he will this time. Any advice here.. im at a loss.