r/CheatersConfronted

We been together for four years and when I love someone I tend to love to have trouble leaving due to not having a big support system or any friends in general. He has had social media behind my back liking posts of local woman etc. and he said he deleted his account but I think he secretly still has one I just can’t prove it. I don’t ask for much I just asked for basic respect.

Anyways, I let him know that I am the type to check phone, especially when shady things are going on and he said that’s perfectly fine and that he has no problem with that. I told him I can’t be with him if he won’t allow that since he’s done some of wierd stuff in the past. I am an open book. I always let him use my phone, but he always acts weird towards his.

Last night, I asked out of nowhere if I can see his phone and he said “ why didn’t you ask earlier? We are having a really good night.” so I asked “ why would me checking it ruin our night” and he just kept making excuses. I just went numb cause I’m tired of this and as predicted, he started acting so sweet after saying he wants to move in with me etc. (he never says things like this) This is not the first time he has not let me check his phone after saying I can.

I suck at leaving so I’m at the point where I’m just gonna do me and reciprocate his shadiness cause I want to get over him on my terms and when I’m ready so if I feel like talking to other people than I will, since he obviously has things to hide🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t know why I’m making this post. I just need someone to convince me to leave.😭 cause clearly I can’t do it myself.

Do you think any person that reacts this way is hiding something??

Denver Airport

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8WVW4RN/

Last June my ex of multiple years discarded me for someone else and at the very least, emotionally cheated on me.

Little backstory for context:
Without getting too specific, my ex was in the entertainment industry, and at the time of our breakup she was working on her own project. I and our friends were helping on it, and I also donated hundreds of dollars to help fund it. She also wanted a guy she had worked with before to be a part of it, too. This guy was someone she had worked with before and someone she would always talk about with me constantly. I was never suspicious or anything because at the time my ex identified as someone who only likes women (I always knew deep down she liked men too). In the weeks leading up to the breakup, she was acting distant and talking constantly about this guy. On the project and in person he completely ignored/avoided me. A week before the breakup, she came to me telling me she was feeling depressed and confused because she was going through a sexuality crisis. Since I identify as bisexual, she asked me many questions and told me if I ever feel an urge to leave to go be with a man. It was a great conversation.
Anyways, the next week, she told me to come over, picked a fight with me over something extremely minor as me “taking too long to park my car and making her wait”.
We argued and she immediately broke down crying and told me she had feelings for this guy, that he also just broke up with his girlfriend, and that he is ruining her life. I kept asking her if it was a breakup for a few days since she refused to say it even though she was talking about our relationship in past tense. After I finally called it a breakup, she blamed me and told me I was the one who called it a breakup, not her. I begged and cried multiple times which she also turned on me. She avoided me in person for days even though I begged for a conversation. When it finally happened, I offered an open relationship and said I’d give her time to explore and she didn’t want to because she said there’s a chance she would choose him. She told me she still wants me in her life as a friend, wouldn’t ghost me, isn’t leaving, etc. She hugged me before I left her apartment and I asked her if we could hang out the next week and she said yes. Well, that was the last time I ever saw her. Turns out she had planned for this guy to come sleep at her apartment for the weekend. The day he came, she removed her location, removed photos of me from her instagram, and never responded to my texts. Then she posted him on social media. I knew deep down it was over and just never reached back out to her, never told her off, never showed anger, etc. She also had a lot of mental health issues and refused therapy and my family was never a fan of her.

It’s been one year no contact. This was the hardest year of my life and the breakup brought me so much pain but also transformation.

The issue is, I left belongings at her apartment, including an expensive gaming console. I never reached back out asking for them because the thought of talking to her was too painful. I let it go. I met a friend recently who I have become close with who offered to reach out to her and get it back for me. I have had friends offer before but I never felt the strength to go along with it or do it myself. So I let her do it. She reached out kindly, told her I want no contact with her and asked for my belongings back. My ex called the entire interaction strange, said she was scared for her safety, didn’t trust my friend and told my friend to stop texting her. My friend gave multiple ways to prove she was close to me but my ex kept calling her strange and told my friend she would only do this through me. My ex ended up texting me calling my friend strange, that she understood I don’t want contact but wanted to confirm with me and that she donated my clothes but would be happy to send my gaming console back. (She never asked me if I wanted it back before doing so). She wished me well and said there was no hostility. I texted her back that I had a friend do it because I was still hurt and didn’t think it was in my best interest to reach out. I don’t know why I told her that even though it was just honesty.

Anyways, it’s been 4 weeks almost and I still have not received my gaming console. Is that a reasonable amount of time for her to send it or should I just let it go? She never responded to me after that. My therapist wants me to take my power back and message her myself asking for it again but I just do NOT want to engage with her. Is this cowardly of me? Why would she tell me she’s happy to send it to me and asked for my address if she wasn’t going to send it?

TL;DR: My ex of multiple years emotionally cheated on me with a man, discarded me and ghosted me. I never asked for my belongings back because I was deeply hurt and did not want contact. After a year of no contact and healing in therapy, I mustered up the courage to have a friend reach out to my ex asking for my expensive gaming console back and she said she would send it but its been almost 4 weeks and still have not received.

He took me on a date and I found out after that he has a girlfriend… I think about him every day and I want to be friends with him again because we were friends for 15 years all the way from high school. I’ve always thought of him as a good guy.

I’d appreciate some encouragement to keep away from a guy who would cheat on his LDR girlfriend..

Last June my ex of multiple years discarded me for someone else and at the very least, emotionally cheated on me.

Little backstory for context:
Without getting too specific, my ex was in the entertainment industry, and at the time of our breakup she was working on her own project. I and our friends were helping on it, and I also donated hundreds of dollars to help fund it. She also wanted a guy she had worked with before to be a part of it, too. This guy was someone she had worked with before and someone she would always talk about with me constantly. I was never suspicious or anything because at the time my ex identified as someone who only likes women (I always knew deep down she liked men too). In the weeks leading up to the breakup, she was acting distant and talking constantly about this guy. On the project and in person he completely ignored/avoided me. A week before the breakup, she came to me telling me she was feeling depressed and confused because she was going through a sexuality crisis. Since I identify as bisexual, she asked me many questions and told me if I ever feel an urge to leave to go be with a man. It was a great conversation.
Anyways, the next week, she told me to come over, picked a fight with me over something extremely minor as me “taking too long to park my car and making her wait”.
We argued and she immediately broke down crying and told me she had feelings for this guy, that he also just broke up with his girlfriend, and that he is ruining her life. I kept asking her if it was a breakup for a few days since she refused to say it even though she was talking about our relationship in past tense. After I finally called it a breakup, she blamed me and told me I was the one who called it a breakup, not her. I begged and cried multiple times which she also turned on me. She avoided me in person for days even though I begged for a conversation. When it finally happened, I offered an open relationship and said I’d give her time to explore and she didn’t want to because she said there’s a chance she would choose him. She told me she still wants me in her life as a friend, wouldn’t ghost me, isn’t leaving, etc. She hugged me before I left her apartment and I asked her if we could hang out the next week and she said yes. Well, that was the last time I ever saw her. Turns out she had planned for this guy to come sleep at her apartment for the weekend. The day he came, she removed her location, removed photos of me from her instagram, and never responded to my texts. Then she posted him on social media. I knew deep down it was over and just never reached back out to her, never told her off, never showed anger, etc. She also had a lot of mental health issues and refused therapy.

It’s been one year no contact. This was the hardest year of my life and the breakup brought me so much pain but also transformation.

The issue is, I left belongings at her apartment, including an expensive gaming console. I never reached back out asking for them because the thought of talking to her was too painful. I let it go. I met a friend recently who I have become close with who offered to reach out to her and get it back for me. I have had friends offer before but I never felt the strength to go along with it or do it myself. So I let her do it. She reached out kindly, told her I want no contact with her and asked for my belongings back. My ex called the entire interaction strange, said she was scared for her safety, didn’t trust my friend and told my friend to stop texting her. My friend gave multiple ways to prove she was close to me but my ex kept calling her strange and told my friend she would only do this through me. My ex ended up texting me calling my friend strange, that she understood I don’t want contact but wanted to confirm with me and that she donated my clothes but would be happy to send my gaming console back. (She never asked me if I wanted it back before doing so). She wished me well and said there was no hostility. I texted her back that I had a friend do it because I was still hurt and didn’t think it was in my best interest to reach out.

Anyways, it’s been 4 weeks almost and I still have not received my gaming console. Is that a reasonable amount of time for her to send it or should I just let it go? She never responded to me after that. My therapist wants me to take my power back and message her myself asking for it again but I just do NOT want to engage with her.

TL;DR: My ex of multiple years emotionally cheated on me with a man, discarded me and ghosted me. I never asked for my belongings back because I was deeply hurt and did not want contact. After a year of no contact and healing in therapy, I mustered up the courage to have a friend reach out to my ex asking for my expensive gaming console back and she said she would send it but its been almost 4 weeks and still have not received.

TL;DR: My ex of multiple years emotionally cheated on me with a man, discarded me and ghosted me. I never asked for my belongings back because I was deeply hurt and did not want contact. After a year of no contact and healing in therapy, I mustered up the courage to have a friend reach out to my ex asking for my expensive gaming console back and she said she would send it but its been almost 4 weeks and still have not received.

A 39 year old guy on grindr just messaged me, and after the initial usual grindr conversation starters, he was asking about my living situation in the case of us hooking up. He said he lives with a female partner. I of course said, "oh, so yall have an open relationship?" And he replies with, "Not. She catches me here, that would be it for us. lol". I was able to get him to send me a face pic, which I have a picture of by using another phone (grindr blocks screenshots of images) as well as screenshots of all our chats thus far.

My question is what should I do now? I feel horrible for this woman who's being cheated on by a partner she lives with, but is it my business to get involved? How would I even go about finding her and informing her? Should I even do that, or should I stay out of it? Should I try to get more information from him to find a way to contact his partner? Is there a subreddit to inform people of cheaters I could post in and just hope she sees it? I absolute detest cheaters, and I would want someone to let me know if my boyfriend was cheating on me. What do I do?

So my " gf " . I told her to show me her recent screen on snap like when you go to send a Snap and the screen that shows the list of recipients. I wanted to mainly see her best friends . I said I better not see her follower counts drop .She said no and kept deflecting. Even got hostile with words lol . Once she going she going . We're done now.

This happend a year ago. I had a boyfriend (let’s call him Eric) for 1,5 years, we were both 22 at the time. He was always very insecure and accused me of cheating all the time. We had been on a hard path in the end and decided to have a “break”. Basically just still being together and exclusive but only talking 1-2 times a day and meeting 1-2 times a week. He started going out a lot with his friends and one day I just got the feeling. He’s cheating. This was also a few days after I got a boob job and he still hadn’t seen them yet. And he was very excited for me to get the boob job. I saw on snapmap he was at an address I had never seen before. I called his mom and asked if she knew anything because he wasn’t answering me. She didn’t know anything so I asked all of his friends and it turned out he was cheating. I called the girl (Anna) he had been cheating with and she said Eric had told everyone we broke up many months ago. That was also what he said to all his friends. None of them believed me when I said we never broke up, but luckily I had lots of messages from him the same day he cheated and days before. I just broke up with him on the phone and he was like “nooo can I come over and talk?” I just said no. The same day he asked Anna to be his girlfriend. Then I called his mom and told her everything, Eric had forgotten he said i could tell his mom if he ever cheated on me. So I did. That was also his biggest fear so he basically moved in with Anna because he was afraid of going home to his mom. A week later I was at his best friends (Jim) house and drinking with him and Anna’s ex (Martin) We sendt a snap of Jim touching my brand new boobs to Eric and he blocked Jim instantly. Then I slept with Jim. A few days later Martin was at my house and we also ended up sleeping together. And then we kind of started a situationship. He is actually a very good guy and now my best friend. Anna used to call Martin everyday to complain about Eric, talk shit about me and asked him to take her back. Luckily she stopped a while ago. Now it has been a year and anna and Eric have broken up and gotten back together about 15 times. I’m not even exaggerating, that’s what Anna has told Martin. She has also contacted me a few times in the beginning and told me horrible things Eric had done to her. He even put up a security camera in front of her door to make sure she wasn’t cheating on her. Then she started hating me because I tried to help her and she thought I was trying to get revenge. Then Eric found out she owes a lot of money for drgs, and cheated on her because he thought she was going to sell herself to the dealer. The dealer is Anna’s best friend’s (Julie) boyfriend. But they are not really friends anymore because Anna stopped talking to everyone. Julie became my friend though, but she is a her0in addict and the dealer boyfriend is abusive so it’s a bit exhausting. They are all addicts and my ex is also apparently an addict now. He lied to me our whole relationship about being clean, but I started talking to his friends who admitted to taking dru*gs with him. Then Anna cheated on him and now she has no friends anymore because she cheated with a guy from her friend group and lied about breaking up with Eric. To this day they still fight all the time and it seems like they hate each other.

English is not my native language and I’m not very good at telling stories, but thanks for reading my trauma dump :)

A month and a half ago I discovered my boyfriend of several months spending the night at his baby’s mom’s house, whom he had claimed to hate, although he’s an active father. He claimed he fell asleep there after taking pain killers for an injured foot and was there to see his son because he couldn’t leave with him due to his foot injury. He denies sleeping with her but there are so many inconsistencies in his behavior and communication that I don’t buy it. Like why do you think I had to go see in the first place?

He and I rekindled our relationship earlier this year after nearly 2 years no contact (which I initiated). We were first together about one year.

It was during that first leg of the relationship I found out about the child. As in, about 4 months in, he announced he had a child born by a woman he barely knew and didn’t know of the baby til it was born. Idk why I believed him but during the new leg of the relationship (this year) he told me he did actually have a history with her and he was very sorry for lying.

Anyway, I generally prefer not to go “woman to woman” because I don’t need to be going back and forth with some strangers feelings when I’m trying to handle mine and also his to an extent. So I didn’t say anything to her initially. He also told me he had a court date coming up to get partial custody of his son and that he was worried the drama would mess it up.

But, I don’t want him to feel like he can just get away with this, as I’ve learned more information since then that fundamentally changes what our relationship has stood on since 2023. That’s hurtful and he shouldn’t be able to just continue living his life with this woman pain free.

I’m curious to know the cheaters confronted philosophy, if any, on this.

so bit of a story to it, we’ve been together almost 4 years, just had our only baby girl a month ago and i had a medical emergency so i’d been in the hospital most of july. so yesterday, i discovered in our linen wardrobe a bag at the top where it was almost out of reach for me and it had one of those silicone sex dolls, a double sided dildo, lube, and a tag of some sort which i’m wondering whether it’s for lingerie he’s bought for someone else. my heart dropped, i literally never thought he’d be one to do this and i’ve never had the urge to even look thru his phone or question anything up until yesterday.

i waited until baby woke up for her night feed around 2 and then i managed to get hold of his old phone which i found in his drawers that’s linked to his current phone. searched thru messages, searched up apps, text messages, social media’s and nothing. went to photos and nothing until i went to recently deleted. found a photo of a fist up an ass, a video of him using a dildo on himself and then a screenshot from grindrs explore page with trans women, feminine looking men or whatever. then went to app store and found about 10 dating apps that had been downloaded i think between us being together and a few gay, lgbtq ones. there were time stamps of the apps so i could see it was continuously in 2023, 2024, 2025 and then that screenshot on grindr confirmed he uses or used it again recently.

i am beyond baffled and disgusted as we have moved countries together, just had our baby girl a month ago and i’ve just been diagnosed with a rare awful condition. the first photo and video was july 3rd, while i was sitting in hospital waiting to have my waters broken and get labour started and he had left a while earlier to get rest before it actually started to happen. the grindr screenshot was july 18th, the day after i was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension where my lungs don’t work properly and cause right side heart failure. i was hooked up to an oxygen mask as i had fluid in my lungs, on strict bed rest for a couple days and had been in hospital a week already before, away from my newborn. trying to keep it short and sweet and he is unaware i know of this stuff. his birthday is in a few days and i’m wondering whether i print out the screenshots i found with time stamps and let him know what i was doing at the same time - about to have our baby and then the other time was literally fighting for my life.

it’s not physically cheating or confirmed he has cheated, but multiple dating apps over the years, the double sided dildo after being active on grindr, tells me that he has or intended to. i have no family here or anyone holding me back except my daughter is now a citizen of this country and i worry he’ll try hold us back if i tried to move home. i am guttered as she has his last name and we’re waiting on the arrival of her birth certificate and i’ll then register her for a passport. i believe in australian law, i cannot leave without his permission so unsure. would love to know what everyone’s thoughts are as i am desperate for advice and if any questions, please do ask !

Yes after years of bearing the pain and suffering, I couldn't stand it anymore. I gather my bravery and confronted her. She's never admitted anything. She's somehow twisting her words into "I didn't do it!" "Your father told me to" into "But your father cheated on me first so I cheated too!" (She has no proofs lmao she just bullshitting at this point. Also what kind of reason is that!? Really???)

For the first time, I argue with my mom. I yelled at her. I was ready to get punch or slapped (yes she's violent. She even hit my dad when losing in argument). She looks super lunatic like it's like it's not my mom anymore. She didn't even feel shamed about doing stuff like this. Like don't you feel a bit of embarrassed that your own children have to step up and tell you that you're wrong?

I mean my dad is an asshole but still he cares enough. He's a cheapskate and a piece of shit. If I have a man like him, I would cheat too but seriously!??? When you're exposed just tell the truth. Why twisting your words and lie? And you're sleeping with not one but multiple men which is like "Tf??". Are we stepping THAT low???

So yeah, finally exposed of cheating and now they are divorced. So yeah, it hurts but the pain will surely heal itself.... slowly. The scars that left for years is still here but yeah....

I'm feeling extremely drained and tired. I mean I held it for years. We held it for years. And now I feel a bit lighter.