u/sleepdeprived_rn

posted this on motherinlawsfromhell community and on here too now just wanting opinions lol

i’ve posted on here before and everyone said she’s a narcissist and just terrible person but i literally cannot stop thinking about the shit things she’s done. i’m 6 weeks postpartum with our first child and her first grandchild so it’s all pretty fresh. we didn’t speak much before pregnancy and then once i told the news, it was like a relationship was just forced on me and then yet still not actually including me. so i wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and wait till i had baby but she’s been stupid since.

\- sent me a daddy daughter reel while i was in labour and she knew but thought it’d be the right time to make it about her son and granddaughter.

\- as soon as we sent photo of baby, she sent back photos of her two kids side by side trying to show the resemblance and how she looks like their side of the family.

\- i had a medical emergency and they had to delay their holiday here cause my parents flew over since we thought i’d die and once i knew i was well enough to go home and didn’t need horrible medication, she was more interested in when my parents were leaving.

\- she’d message me asking how i’m doing in hospital and i’d say ‘it’s hard having them leave’ or just talking about a horrible procedure i had and she’d just ignore me and start talking about something else. this was when i was two weeks postpartum and my partner and newborn would come visit for a bit and i was alone in hospital hooked up to oxygen, on strict bed rest and needed assistance walking and whatever.

\- never really included me in my own pregnancy and then saying things like ‘she takes after her mimi’ and she posted a photo saying ‘mimi’s beautiful girl’ which obviously she is mimi. his mums good for that where she asks for photos and information so she can show people at work or post on her facebook but doesn’t actually care or ask how we’re doing.

\- my mum was able to get another week off work to stay longer and he told her and she said ‘that wouldn’t have been hard’ and just sounded like she thinks less of my mums job or something. my mum is a support worker for disabled people, elderly and whatnot so it’s a caring job that needs a bit more than what she does. she’s a duty manager or something at a supermarket where she needs to coordinate with the other duty managers to take time off. so sounded like she thinks her jobs much harder or more important.

as well as what she done throughout pregnancy it’s just a build up and she’s meant to come stay end of september for over two weeks. i’m waiting it out to see how it goes otherwise i’m more than happy to kick her out and send her away. she has other family here but they either don’t talk to her or actually don’t really like her so pretty telling when a lot of people don’t like the one person.

just a rant but does anyone else have this problem or do they agree she’s a narcissist?

i’ve posted on here before and everyone said she’s a narcissist and just terrible person but i literally cannot stop thinking about the shit things she’s done. i’m 6 weeks postpartum with our first child and her first grandchild so it’s all pretty fresh. we didn’t speak much before pregnancy and then once i told the news, it was like a relationship was just forced on me and then yet still not actually including me. so i wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and wait till i had baby but she’s been stupid since.

- sent me a daddy daughter reel while i was in labour and she knew but thought it’d be the right time to make it about her son and granddaughter.

- as soon as we sent photo of baby, she sent back photos of her two kids side by side trying to show the resemblance and how she looks like their side of the family.

- i had a medical emergency and they had to delay their holiday here cause my parents flew over since we thought i’d die and once i knew i was well enough to go home and didn’t need horrible medication, she was more interested in when my parents were leaving.

- she’d message me asking how i’m doing in hospital and i’d say ‘it’s hard having them leave’ or just talking about a horrible procedure i had and she’d just ignore me and start talking about something else. this was when i was two weeks postpartum and my partner and newborn would come visit for a bit and i was alone in hospital hooked up to oxygen, on strict bed rest and needed assistance walking and whatever.

- never really included me in my own pregnancy and then saying things like ‘she takes after her mimi’ and she posted a photo saying ‘mimi’s beautiful girl’ which obviously she is mimi. his mums good for that where she asks for photos and information so she can show people at work or post on her facebook but doesn’t actually care or ask how we’re doing.

- my mum was able to get another week off work to stay longer and he told her and she said ‘that wouldn’t have been hard’ and just sounded like she thinks less of my mums job or something. my mum is a support worker for disabled people, elderly and whatnot so it’s a caring job that needs a bit more than what she does. she’s a duty manager or something at a supermarket where she needs to coordinate with the other duty managers to take time off. so sounded like she thinks her jobs much harder or more important.

as well as what she done throughout pregnancy it’s just a build up and she’s meant to come stay end of september for over two weeks. i’m waiting it out to see how it goes otherwise i’m more than happy to kick her out and send her away. she has other family here but they either don’t talk to her or actually don’t really like her so pretty telling when a lot of people don’t like the one person.

just a rant but does anyone else have this problem or do they agree she’s a narcissist?

so bit of a story to it, we’ve been together almost 4 years, just had our only baby girl a month ago and i had a medical emergency so i’d been in the hospital most of july. so yesterday, i discovered in our linen wardrobe a bag at the top where it was almost out of reach for me and it had one of those silicone sex dolls, a double sided dildo, lube, and a tag of some sort which i’m wondering whether it’s for lingerie he’s bought for someone else. my heart dropped, i literally never thought he’d be one to do this and i’ve never had the urge to even look thru his phone or question anything up until yesterday.

i waited until baby woke up for her night feed around 2 and then i managed to get hold of his old phone which i found in his drawers that’s linked to his current phone. searched thru messages, searched up apps, text messages, social media’s and nothing. went to photos and nothing until i went to recently deleted. found a photo of a fist up an ass, a video of him using a dildo on himself and then a screenshot from grindrs explore page with trans women, feminine looking men or whatever. then went to app store and found about 10 dating apps that had been downloaded i think between us being together and a few gay, lgbtq ones. there were time stamps of the apps so i could see it was continuously in 2023, 2024, 2025 and then that screenshot on grindr confirmed he uses or used it again recently.

i am beyond baffled and disgusted as we have moved countries together, just had our baby girl a month ago and i’ve just been diagnosed with a rare awful condition. the first photo and video was july 3rd, while i was sitting in hospital waiting to have my waters broken and get labour started and he had left a while earlier to get rest before it actually started to happen. the grindr screenshot was july 18th, the day after i was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension where my lungs don’t work properly and cause right side heart failure. i was hooked up to an oxygen mask as i had fluid in my lungs, on strict bed rest for a couple days and had been in hospital a week already before, away from my newborn. trying to keep it short and sweet and he is unaware i know of this stuff. his birthday is in a few days and i’m wondering whether i print out the screenshots i found with time stamps and let him know what i was doing at the same time - about to have our baby and then the other time was literally fighting for my life.

it’s not physically cheating or confirmed he has cheated, but multiple dating apps over the years, the double sided dildo after being active on grindr, tells me that he has or intended to. i have no family here or anyone holding me back except my daughter is now a citizen of this country and i worry he’ll try hold us back if i tried to move home. i am guttered as she has his last name and we’re waiting on the arrival of her birth certificate and i’ll then register her for a passport. i believe in australian law, i cannot leave without his permission so unsure. would love to know what everyone’s thoughts are as i am desperate for advice and if any questions, please do ask !

i’ve just been diagnosed a few weeks ago with this condition and google doesn’t help exactly. i see posts of people surviving decades and then personally know someone who’s progressed to a lung transplant within a few years of being diagnosed. i know everybody’s different and now it’s been set as genetic as my sister was diagnosed 6 years ago.

i’ve just had my first baby on 4th July and since having her, 9 days postpartum i went to hospital with shortness of breath, swollen, and fluid in my lungs. they said they were surprised i survived pregnancy and childbirth and then that my numbers were so high afterwards, that if i didn’t go on epoprostenol, the pump, immediately, that i wouldn’t see the next 12 months. after a few days i had another echo to confirm before i started treatment and by some miracle, my numbers came down just with using the tablets - macitentan and tadalifil. i am so happy with the outcome of just needing tablets and happy i’m healthy with my baby girl at home now.

so i’m wondering if anyone has had this condition and had more children in the future? i hope i don’t seem awful and ungrateful asking about future children with my newborn but it’s a big shock as i wanted multiple children and now being told i cannot have more. they said it’s rare and i’m not trying to be hopeful but would like to know if anyone’s experienced this or what peoples experience have been with this condition? and how are you travelling now with this condition?

so i f22 have been with my partner m24 for a good 3.5 years now and we’ve moved abroad and recently had our wee girl who’s now 4 weeks old. pretty much this problem came about when i told his parents i was pregnant at about 8 weeks. it was friendly here and there where she was asking how i was feeling and how i’m doing but it became a bit overbearing and i felt pretty excluded my whole pregnancy.

it started with her sending me reels of dads and daughters and her saying her sons going to be the best dad, i’m so lucky and how amazing he is, which is fine but it was continuously throughout the pregnancy and never saying i’ll be a good mum or anything. as well as grandparent reels and saying ‘this is most definitely my granddaughter’ which things i wouldn’t agree but anyway just sending all these reels that don’t even apply to me so was bothering me when it was constant. she started calling baby ‘my girl’ ’our girl’ ’my little bean’ which i wasn’t even calling baby that, i was calling her just baby so felt annoying she was putting a claim on her. then she started asking for clues on baby’s name and she asked a good 10 times over a few months before she rang him and slipped into their conversation asking for clues since i wasn’t letting up which i felt was rude and sneaky as she went around me when i didn’t tell her. he ended up flat out telling her ‘no we’re not telling anyone, including you’ and she had eventually messaged me once again asking and i said you can ask him and she replied ‘no i tried him and he said he’d get in trouble with you’ which made me really pissed off because that wasn’t even true and makes me to be the bad guy. then after i said ‘he didn’t say that, we’re just not telling people’ she ended up saying afterwards ‘i expect my son to keep me updated when he can’ and ‘tell me what time you go to hospital and what they do to induce you’ which i thought was crazy considering she made me out to be the bad guy and then telling me what she wants and expects. got 5d photos of baby and first thing she says is ‘she’s got our family chin’ which not nasty but pisses me off as it’s all about their family. she’s done a few bits and pieces and said things and good at twisting words. my partner was expecting a boy and once we done the reveal his mum said ‘even he seems happy with a girl’ which ??? and another time she said ‘he may not say it but he does love you’ which is strange to say something like that like she’s in our relationship and we hadn’t seen them for a good two years since we live overseas now. there’s more things i could go on about but those come to mind but she’s very much not considerate i’ve realised.

so as of actually giving birth, i had a traumatic birth - baby got stuck, baby had to be revived, i haemorrhaged and lost 2 litres of blood, had to use all the tools to get baby out and had all these tears and episiotomy. so traumatic birth and my partner told them and his parents didn’t seem too empathetic and tell me i’m good or anything but since then, his mums told me how good he is of a dad. she also sent me a daddy daughter reel while i was in labour and she knew and i opened it just liking it and she sends a message ‘you weren’t supposed to like that post 😂🤣’ which made me feel pretty shit as it was my moment and strange that she knew enough that i shouldn’t like it ?? seriously wasn’t the time to make it about her son so fucked me off.

anyway i’ve just got out of hospital for a medical emergency and getting diagnosed for a rare heart and lung condition and his parents were supposed to come over which they had to reschedule because of this. we told them what the doctors told which was i was supposed to die in pregnancy and childbirth and then my numbers were so bad afterwards that if i didn’t go on this life changing medication, that i wouldn’t see the next 12 months. eventually a week went by and i had another scan and which they called a miracle, i was able to go home much sooner just with new medication i take everyday. i called his mum to tell her the good news that i don’t need this horrible medication and she was very uninterested and did say ‘oh that is good’ and then straight away was like ‘so what are your parents doing?’ and ‘when are they going home?’ which really killed my joy. my parents flew from our home country to me because i was hooked up to all the machines and had oxygen masks on because i had fluid in my lungs and all sorts which she knew. she was asking because she must’ve wanted to know if their holiday was still on and if the bed my parents were using was available. then now that i’m home she has asked how i’m doing but lack of empathy for almost dying multiple times at 22. i feel like now that i’m home and well enough, that i’ve almost like inconvenienced them pretty much. she does say she loves me and ask how i’m doing but also these things so i’m wondering if it’s me or if it’s kinda like actions are louder than words?

would love to know thoughts pretty please otherwise just a rant anyway

so i f22 have been with my partner m24 for a good 3.5 years now and we’ve moved abroad and recently had our wee girl who’s now 4 weeks old. pretty much this problem came about when i told his parents i was pregnant at about 8 weeks. it was friendly here and there where she was asking how i was feeling and how i’m doing but it became a bit overbearing and i felt pretty excluded my whole pregnancy.

it started with her sending me reels of dads and daughters and her saying her sons going to be the best dad, i’m so lucky and how amazing he is, which is fine but it was continuously throughout the pregnancy and never saying i’ll be a good mum or anything. as well as grandparent reels and saying ‘this is most definitely my granddaughter’ which things i wouldn’t agree but anyway just sending all these reels that don’t even apply to me so was bothering me when it was constant. she started calling baby ‘my girl’ ’our girl’ ’my little bean’ which i wasn’t even calling baby that, i was calling her just baby so felt annoying she was putting a claim on her. then she started asking for clues on baby’s name and she asked a good 10 times over a few months before she rang him and slipped into their conversation asking for clues since i wasn’t letting up which i felt was rude and sneaky as she went around me when i didn’t tell her. he ended up flat out telling her ‘no we’re not telling anyone, including you’ and she had eventually messaged me once again asking and i said you can ask him and she replied ‘no i tried him and he said he’d get in trouble with you’ which made me really pissed off because that wasn’t even true and makes me to be the bad guy. then after i said ‘he didn’t say that, we’re just not telling people’ she ended up saying afterwards ‘i expect my son to keep me updated when he can’ and ‘tell me what time you go to hospital and what they do to induce you’ which i thought was crazy considering she made me out to be the bad guy and then telling me what she wants and expects. got 5d photos of baby and first thing she says is ‘she’s got our family chin’ which not nasty but pisses me off as it’s all about their family. she’s done a few bits and pieces and said things and good at twisting words. my partner was expecting a boy and once we done the reveal his mum said ‘even he seems happy with a girl’ which ??? and another time she said ‘he may not say it but he does love you’ which is strange to say something like that like she’s in our relationship and we hadn’t seen them for a good two years since we live overseas now. there’s more things i could go on about but those come to mind but she’s very much not considerate i’ve realised.

so as of actually giving birth, i had a traumatic birth - baby got stuck, baby had to be revived, i haemorrhaged and lost 2 litres of blood, had to use all the tools to get baby out and had all these tears and episiotomy. so traumatic birth and my partner told them and his parents didn’t seem too empathetic and tell me i’m good or anything but since then, his mums told me how good he is of a dad. she also sent me a daddy daughter reel while i was in labour and she knew and i opened it just liking it and she sends a message ‘you weren’t supposed to like that post 😂🤣’ which made me feel pretty shit as it was my moment and strange that she knew enough that i shouldn’t like it ?? seriously wasn’t the time to make it about her son so fucked me off.

anyway i’ve just got out of hospital for a medical emergency and getting diagnosed for a rare heart and lung condition and his parents were supposed to come over which they had to reschedule because of this. we told them what the doctors told which was i was supposed to die in pregnancy and childbirth and then my numbers were so bad afterwards that if i didn’t go on this life changing medication, that i wouldn’t see the next 12 months. eventually a week went by and i had another scan and which they called a miracle, i was able to go home much sooner just with new medication i take everyday. i called his mum to tell her the good news that i don’t need this horrible medication and she was very uninterested and did say ‘oh that is good’ and then straight away was like ‘so what are your parents doing?’ and ‘when are they going home?’ which really killed my joy. my parents flew from our home country to me because i was hooked up to all the machines and had oxygen masks on because i had fluid in my lungs and all sorts which she knew. she was asking because she must’ve wanted to know if their holiday was still on and if the bed my parents were using was available. then now that i’m home she has asked how i’m doing but lack of empathy for almost dying multiple times at 22. i feel like now that i’m home and well enough, that i’ve almost like inconvenienced them pretty much. she does say she loves me and ask how i’m doing but also these things so i’m wondering if it’s me or if it’s kinda like actions are louder than words?

would love to know thoughts pretty please otherwise just a rant anyway