u/AmbitiousLlama33

Friends for 15 years, since high school. Stayed in touch peripherally through reunions, group hangs, Instagram stories etc. This guy eventually asks me out for coffee and we do a hike, he drives, chooses the trail, shares snacks with me, invites me up to see his place twice and offers to make me a salad. I really enjoyed spending time with him and so a couple days after I suggest another hang. He tells me he has a girlfriend. Long distance. Didn’t tell me during our day because he “didn’t want to throw a wrench in it”. Agreed it felt like more than friends.

20 minute phone call, some voice notes, and an ultimatum later, I’ve set a boundary saying that I was too attracted to him to be just friends and that he could reach out if he’s single. I muted him from my Instagram stories so he can’t see what I post…

And I really miss him. Should I unmute him eventually, try friendship again? We have obvious chemistry and he’s still in a relationship. facepalm

He took me on a date and I found out after that he has a girlfriend… I think about him every day and I want to be friends with him again because we were friends for 15 years all the way from high school. I’ve always thought of him as a good guy.

I’d appreciate some encouragement to keep away from a guy who would cheat on his LDR girlfriend..

It must be possible. Curious to hear y’all’s experience with this one.

I’ve struggled with boundaries in a relationship I’ve ultimately stepped back from.. what kinds of boundaries have you put into practice, whether single or not?

What the title says! Do you choose the woman who you’re on fire for sexually and personality wise or do you stay with the comfortable and reliable woman who you have a history with and who knows you well?

I just dodged a situation where I could have been The Other Woman and now I’m curious to hear other stories.. if you care to share! Also would love to know the learnings.

Of course it depends on the relationship boundaries and what each person is comfortable with. I’m just curious - if youre in a relationship and spend time with female friends one on one, what kinds of activities do you tend to do? Are there things that are maybe not so obviously off limits?

We’ve been friends for 15 plus years, peripherally keeping in touch via Instagram stories etc.

He messaged me after years the other day asking if I was free to grab coffee or a beer. He offered a Friday night when I was thinking Friday day so I pivoted to Wednesday daytime because Friday felt too datey.

Fast forward to the Wednesday catch-up, he pays for coffee, offers to drive to the trailhead, plans the trailhead, shares snacks with me twice, asks a bunch of really deep questions about myself, shows me trails that mean something to him, and ask if I want to come up to his place a couple times. I say sure on the second run around just so I can use his bathroom. When I come out, he asks if I want him to make a salad for lunch. I say I should head out, so he offers to walk me to the door, gives me a hug. After I message today saying I had a good time and would like to see him again, he hits me with the “so nice to see you and I didn’t mention the other day I’m in a relationship. But I want to keep in touch and it was nice seeing you.”

I feel used and played and run around. Did I read too into things? A couple days later he messaged me following up on Sunday plans we each made for ourselves and then watched my Instagram story.

We’ve been friends for 15 plus years, peripherally keeping in touch via Instagram stories etc. He messaged me after years the other day asking if I was free to grab coffee or a beer. He offered a Friday night when I was thinking Friday day so I pivoted to Wednesday daytime because Friday felt too datey. Fast forward to the Wednesday catch-up, he pays for coffee, offers to drive to the trailhead, plans the trailhead, shares snacks with me twice, asks a bunch of really deep questions about myself, shows me trails that mean something to him, and ask if I want to come up to his place a couple times. I say sure on the second run around just so I can use his bathroom. When I come out, he asks if I want him to make a salad for lunch. I say I should head out, so he offers to walk me to the door, gives me a hug. After I message today saying I had a good time and would like to see him again, he hits me with the “so nice to see you and I didn’t mention the other day I’m in a relationship. But I want to keep in touch and it was nice seeing you.” I feel used and played and run around. Did I read too into things?

So I’ve known this guy since high school. We were friends, never dated. He’s stayed in touch interacting with my Instagram stories, reaching out every once in a while to see how I’m doing. He’s never asked me to hang out one on one but did recently, asking if I wanted to grab coffee or a beer, since he’s in town. I have been attracted to him. What are the chances he’s open to hanging out with me as a friend on a Friday night?

Edit: we’re now doing a nature walk on Wednesday daytime. He says he can drive??