u/badgirlaesthetic

I’m a woman in a male dominated field and genuinely love my job, but one coworker found my dating profile and made sure everyone at work knew about it. Since then, he and a few others keep bringing it up in a mocking, demeaning way that honestly feels more humiliating than playful. The same coworker also gives me unsolicited comments about my appearance.

At first I ignored it, thinking it would blow over, but it hasn’t. I only plan to stay here until mid-2026 and want the rest of my time to be enjoyable without creating an HR nightmare. Looking for advice on how to shut this down professionally or at least make them think twice before bringing it up again.

I started working at my old company right after I graduated and stayed with them for 11 years. Honestly, I was a very loyal employee to them. They promoted me several times over the years, and I truly felt they had my back. But in the last three years or so, the workload kept piling up on me. I was good at my job, so they kept throwing more work at me, but my salary wasn't increasing at the same rate at all.

I tried everything with them. I asked for a respectable raise in salary, and even suggested we change my role to make the workload manageable. In the end, all they did was give me a measly 10% raise and expected me to continue with everything as it was. It got so bad that the moment I found an entry-level position open at a company I'd always wanted to work for, I jumped on it. I even accepted a lower salary and moved to another city just to escape that toxic environment. My mental health improved overnight. Now, after three years at this new job, I'm making roughly the same as I was back then, but in a place where my money has much more value.

I still follow my old company's news on LinkedIn out of curiosity. And guess what I saw a few weeks ago? They've posted my old job... But as two separate positions. I was the program coordinator and the team manager at the same time. Now they're hiring one person for each role. Just looking at the salary ranges they've posted, they'll be paying these two together at least double what I was making. It's crazy, because they could have just given me a $25,000 raise and I would have stayed with them and been very happy. Instead, they have to recruit and train two brand new employees.

Honestly, it gives me an incredible sense of satisfaction watching them pay the high price for their negligence. It's just proof that for some companies, loyalty is a one-way street.

For context I love my job and have been here for 3.5 years working with the same co worker.

She is a lovely person overall but she has some quirks that I always put down to it being a generational difference between us. I am 26 and she is 60.

She doesn't have any concept of personal space, if she wants to look at something on my pc ( usually not me inviting her to look at it she'll just come and look) she will put both hands on my desk and lean in so close I can feel her breath on me and hear her breathing in my ear. And then she'll linger there for a bit until I make it very obvious shes in my space with my body language.

She also has a terrible habbit of asking you a question and mid answer she'll interrupt you. Even when you're telling a personal anecdote she will interrupt you to tell you abour her iwn story. Which she would have told before but feels the need to tell you again. Which wouldn't mind if she didn't interrupt.

She also has an awful habbit of trying to pry into my social life. If I mention I went out at the weekend she will ask every detail. Who i was with ,where did we go ect. She often refers to herself as my ' office mum' as i recently moved into my own place after living with my parents and she seems to think I need mothering. I don't, I can live alone and I have a mother so I find it very uncomfortable when she calls herself my office mum. It feels like crossing a boundary.

She is a nice person but after over 3 years its becoming harder for me to hold my tongue. I thought that I just didn't understand because I was always told basic manners were not to interrupt someone when they are speaking and personal space should be respected.

How do I politely tell her without chasing office drama that she needs to a. Not come into my personal space as much and b. Please stop interrupting me when I am speaking. And is this a generational thing? Am I just not on the same wavelength as her because we are so far apart in age ?

Any suggestions would be amazing thank you !

I just had something out of the movies happen to me. this middle aged woman sitting across me swopped seats to face me better. she then proceeded to open and cross her legs in my full view while looking at me. she was wearing a short skirt by the way. i could literally feel my testosterone come alive and my body proved it

I don't know why this question popped into my head. Sorry.

Not my proudest moment, but it’s one of those things that sticks.

A while back, a coworker and I were both doing something we technically weren’t supposed to. It was one of those gray-area shortcuts that slowly becomes normal… until suddenly it’s not.

Then word got out there might be an audit.

I didn’t warn them. Didn’t even hesitate that long, if I’m being honest. I went to management first and flagged it positioned it like I’d just “noticed something off.”

They had kids. I knew that. We’d talked about school runs and daycare costs more than once.

I told myself I was just protecting my job.

They were gone within a few weeks. I stayed, kept my head down.

A couple months later, I got promoted.

That’s the part that stuck with me not that I got away with it, but that it actually *paid off*.

Every now and then it pops into my head. Not enough to confess or anything. Just enough to make me pause.

Because deep down, I know exactly how I justified it the first time.

And I definitely don’t wanna do the same again.

My manager loves to talk about “accountability.”

I work late shift at a small office like 2pm to whenever the work is done. We’re supposed to hand things off to the morning team, simple enough.

Except… the morning team just doesn’t show up sometimes.

When that happens, guess who’s expected to stay? Me.

At first I thought it was a one-off. Stayed late, finished everything, whatever. Then it kept happening. People just… wouldn’t log in. No notice, no explanation.

So I asked my manager what to do if no one shows.

She said, “Just hold down the fort until someone from leadership can step in.”

Cool. Sounds reasonable.

Except “someone from leadership” is apparently a mythological creature that does not exist after 6pm.

Last week I ended up working almost 15 hours straight because no one came in and no one answered their phone. Emails? Ignored. Calls? Straight to voicemail.

So the next time it happened, I wrapped up what I could, documented everything, and logged off at my scheduled time.

Next morning? I get a message saying I was “unreliable” and that leaving work unfinished is “unacceptable.”

But apparently *not showing up at all* is just… a scheduling hiccup?

Now every shift feels like a gamble. Am I working 8 hours or am I being held hostage until sunrise?

And somehow, no matter what happens, it’s always my fault for not wanting to pull a double while everyone else just… doesn’t show up.

Make it make sense.