u/beautyqueen16_

To keep it as short and sweet as I can: I’m 26F and since February this year, I’ve been dating and now in a relationship with a 32M. Things have gone so well, we’ve integrated into each others lives, friends, families and it’s the happiest I’ve ever been in a relationship!

About 2 months after we starting being intimate, I began having issues down there that multiple doctors told me was vulvar dermatitis and general irritation. I’ve been open with my boyfriend the entire time about that process and much to my surprise (and the doctors), at my last dermatology appointment a few days ago, I was diagnosed with HSV2 via swab.

Now, I have to navigate the conversation of telling him this information and I am terrified.

I realise that there is a chance he’s asymptomatic and has passed it to me since this all begun after sleeping with him / he might know he has it and never communicated, but in the UK they don’t test unless you’re symptomatic (and I don’t think he is the type of person to hide that information) so we have to work under the assumption that he’s negative.

I’m stressed about getting the words out of my mouth, and the potential of losing someone that I love out of it. It feels like the universe is playing a practical joke on me lol

If anyone who found out about their diagnosis while in a relationship would like to share their experience / lend some advice, I would be so grateful 🥺 I just want the ground to swallow me up

(We’re both also Black and it feels like the stigma is even louder in our communities)

Hi! I’m potentially looking at a HSV2 diagnosis while I’m dating someone that it’s going really well with and I really care about and I’m just looking to hear if anyone has had a similar experience and how it went for you.

I’m 26(F) and I’m dating a 32(M), we’ve been seeing each other for about 5 months now and it’s been going really well. We’ve met each others friends / family and we spend a lot of time together.

We’ve been sleeping with each other for the past 4 months and in the last month, I’ve been experiencing some symptoms that I’m pretty sure are HSV2. I did go to get it checked at the doctor and they told me they thought that it was just vaginal irritation / dermatitis as I suffer from eczema anyway and they took a swab for BV, which came back positive and they put me on antibiotics.

Over the past week I’ve experienced pretty severe aches and pains and then developed more irritation down there in a way that aligns pretty well with HSV2. I’m going to the clinic in a couple of days to get a diagnosis and some anti viral meds BUT now I’m terrified about disclosing.

I’m also aware that he could be an asymptomatic carrier and has actually passed it to me, but that’s neither here nor there as we’ll never know for sure. They don’t do blood tests for HSV2 in the UK and only test if sore or blister is present and I think he would have told me / disclosed if he had those.

I know that using condoms (which we have been the whole time) and anti viral meds reduces the transmission rate from F to M to 1-4% if we’re not intimate during an OB or during the symptoms that come before hand.

Despite it having such a low transmission rate and being easy to manage, I’m scared about disclosing in the fear that he‘ll end the connection. Albeit, the disclosure has to happen as he needs full autonomy and consent around his body.

I really really like (dare I say, beginning to love) him and so, I’m just looking to hear about other people’s experiences about disclosing as I’m pretty sure that that’s where I’m going to end up.

If you have any words of advice or experiences of your own, please share!!!