u/beth_blow

Hi! I've (24F) been with my boyfriend (25M) for 5 years. We met at university, studying the same degree. Last year we went together on an Erasmus to Italy where I finished writing my Master's thesis and defended it also last year.

He was supposed to be working on it last year to (and in my opinion he had great conditions to do that, we had only 2 classes per week in Italy, no other responsibilities) but he didn't. Instead of doing any academic work, he focused on gardening. I guess he's a procrastinator.

He's struggling with writing his thesis now and has been wanting to write it for the past couples of month. I guess the problem for me is that he bases his self worth on whether he has worked on his thesis or not and calls me for support (which has been quite frequent, like every other day), telling me that he needs me to remind him of his worth. Of course, I don't think whether he writes the thesis or not, defines him but to be honest, I don't know how to support him because I kind of think he fucked up since last year he had all the time in the world to do that. I guess I wish that he embraced it and said he fucked up and claim some responsibility. I'm trying to say that it's just a text to finish uni and that it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be written.

Ahh, I really dislike that instead of accepting it and getting it done, he just falls into despair about it, saying how bad he is, that he doesn't deserve rest if he didn't do anything. I don't know how to react to that. Frankly, I'm a bit tired of hearing about his thesis and secondly, as I mentioned before, he could have finished it last year. I never ask about the thesis because it's a delicate topic for him but also I don't really want to hear about it. AITA for that? Sure, writing any academic work is hard, and I get that, but it's just that I feel like he's constantly talking about it and how worthless he is because of that.

How should I react to such situations? I'm trying to be supportive but it seems like nothing I say is enough and he puts the responsibility one me and wants me to make him feel valuable, and then I get a bit annoyed. I don't know, maybe I process emotions differently but whenever I feel down about something, I do share it with friends but I guess I do not expect them to tell me I'm a valuable person etc., I just want to be heard. I feel like he's expecting something from me that I cannot give.

Hi! I'm 24 and I graduated last year in languages (English and German). I've just started an office job (with German) and it seems really boring but they pay very well. I want to stay here at least for a couple of months to set some money aside.

In the process of looking for a job, I had interviews at two NGOs where the job seemed really interesting but they decided to proceed with other people that had more experience. But the thing is, I was only employed at corporate office jobs and my CV is looking rather well for these kinds of positions.

What can I do to pivot my career to organising events, writing grants, carrying out campaigns etc. (this is mostly what the positions at the NGOs entailes)? Since I wrote my thesis on literature, I wouldn’t mind going into the arts/culture. The NGOs I had interviews with dealt with climate protection, organising various events (also international events) and raising awareness etc.I wouldn't mind doing some internships to gain more experience in these areas but I'm not sure where to look for them. I'm based in Poland but I wouldn't mind doing an internship in another European country for a few months.

Thanks for the advice!

Hi! I printed out my pattern and taped it together. I cut out the front bodice yesterday and wanted to cut out the back bodice today but I noticed it's significantly longer than the front. I'm wondering if it's just the design or if I cut something wrong when taping the paper pattern.

https://preview.redd.it/jpl3e29ic92h1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d23ea61c6132a349580c1346bf25de61e397b13c

Me (F/24) and my boyfriend (M/25) are planning to move in together. We've been together for 5 years.

My boyfriend decided to lengthen his studies to finish writing his thesis (I don't think it's going well, he's really procrastinating). I graduated last year and am moving to the city to start working (I have a job offered). Basically, I need to be there for 3 months at least becuase the first 3 months are on site. Later, I can start working hybrid.

We were thinking of moving in together but I guess my boyfriend didn't expect it to happen so soon. (I guess he thought it would be in a few months but I got the job quite quickly).

I went to see some flats last week and we decided to rent one of them (it's not ideal but it's good enough) but my boyfriend didn't see them cause he's in the countryside (far away) trying to write his thesis.

And I guess the bone of contention is the payment. I would pay the deposit and I guess I would pay for rent for the first few months until he finds a job but I expect him to pay me back. My salary is quite good especially for a first job but it's not like I'm rich.

I spoke with him today and I guess he's angry that I want him to pay me back. He said that if he was in the same situation he wouldn't expect me to pay him back. I don't know what to think about it. Should I not expect him to pay me back?

He gives online lesson in a language school but the salary is definitely not enough to live on. Anyway, he wants to have some time to write the thesis.

I don't know, I don't like the idea of paying for everything when he can't even tell me when he would want to start working full time. And if I was looking for something just for myself, I would opt for a room to save a bit of money.

I suggested I look for something for 3 months only but he said he would like to move in now.

Today I'm going there to sign the lease agreement (we have a 2-months notice period) so I guess this is the last moment I could call it off.