u/big_ol_doofus

When I told my doctor that I wanted to transition, she told me that since I’m in Alabama I’d have to wait till I was 19, and my mom didn’t want to go out of state for hrt, In those three years of waiting I had started growing facial and armpit hair, my face became more sigma giga chad shaped, my hairline started to thin out, and my ribcage and arms and shoulders and everything, it just got so big. I can’t even look at pictures of my younger self without getting upset. Cause that guy, that guy might of had some potential, in becoming something that resembles a woman, but now I’m just an ugly man on hrt, if I was born in freaking Idk like Minnesota or smth I could have transitioned at 16 :(

Pls don’t call me ma’am, I look nothing like a woman whatsoever, and haven’t put in any effort in order to do so, besides shaving

Transitioning after puberty is such a joke dawg, everything is just so big bruh, I hate it :(

I can talk fine when I talk to myself or my parents, but when I talk to anyone else my mouth and tongue just get so heavy and I sound stupid

Tung tung tung tung tung sahur

Lately I’ve been obsessively looking at my reflection in hopes of finding one redeeming feature that I could be happy about, it just ends w/ me crashing out and ruining my whole day, im upset all the time, and it sucks even more seeing how transition just works for some people, and these people are able to just become a woman, my skull is so sigma giga Chad shaped it’s so much jaw and cheek bone, whenever I look at photos of when I was younge im on the verge of tears, cause I’ve known since i was like 16 that I’d be miserable being a man, but being an Alabamian, bro had to wait not 2 but 3 god damn years till I was 19, and those 3 years are when shit got as bad as it is.

I think I might feel worse than I did a year ago, not once in my life have I ever felt the least bit feminine, every time Ive had the displeasure of seeing what what I look like, I have a mini crash out, the only difference between me now and me a year ago is that I had hope, idk what I was expecting to happen transing out after puberty, nothings changed dawg, I look identical to how I do a year ago. The only thing really that I’ve got going for me is that at least (I hope at least) things won’t be getting worse for me, at least masculinization wise.

Ts sucks!

Like dafuq am I even supposed to do bruh? I ain’t know shit about fashion, beauty, or about female social norms, I’m too much of a dumbass to even learn to voice train, I feel like I’ll never be able to integrate with women who’ve been socializing with other women for years and learning essentially how to act like a woman and despite my levels (according to my doctor, which are notorious for being complete idiots when it comes to trans health care) being within female range, I look like a man, my frame is just so wide, my waist is just two parallel lines, and my face has so much bone, I’ve got essentially a sigma gigachad jaw, and big ass cheek bones I just look like a man with tiddies :( I feel so scammed, mofos made made me wait till i was 19 to transition. I feel so disgusting simply being in the presence of other women, even more so, trans women it’s a bunch of em at school, they’re all in friend groups, and I see them living their best lives, and it just sucks cause I’ll never have this even tho they started out in the same place as me, they’re so much better than me, Idk I wish I could just stay in my house forever and not have to be perceived by anyone and just rot away in my room.

I just a baby 🥺