u/birdieelizabeth — reddlx

Death of the “good parent”

Hi everyone. I have been NC with my BPD mom for months and it’s really important to me to preserve it, after fighting so hard to get there. My 90-year-old father is in hospice and I have to decide if I want to be in the room with him and my mother while he is dying. I visited him yesterday and said all the important things, so the closure is there in that regard.

To be honest, I don’t want to sit in a room with my mother acting out and being abusive and histrionic after she basically killed him with her Munchausen’s BS. And being in contact with her again may be destabilizing to my mental health.

Yet, what is the moral thing to do here? Will he know that I am not there as he is dying in a morphine haze? Will I regret not being there later?

I’m so confused.

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u/birdieelizabeth — 3 days ago

▲ 43 r/FosterAnimals

How much heat?

Hi everyone! I am fostering a mother cat and her four kittens, who are between 3 and 4 weeks. I am doing everything the shelter instructed, so they are all in a small bathroom that I’ve made as cozy as possible for them with plenty of covered hiding places and soft blankets.

The mom is stressed by me so I am mostly leaving them alone. The mom so far has been conscientious and attentive.

My question is about temperature in that bathroom. I am paranoid because I once had a kitten foster die due to cold. The shelter said nothing about temperature and didn’t provide anything for that purpose. My apartment temp is between 75 and 80 degrees F.

I don’t have a heating pad so I put a safe space heater in the bathroom and set it to 81. It was clearly too much for the mom, who ended up panting.

So I turned it off and the bathroom seems to be staying pretty warm on its own, but the central air is on tonight in the apartment and is set at 75.

I can reach out to the shelter tomorrow, but my anxiety is keeping me awake. Should I be worried or am I overthinking due to my past experience? In that case, it was winter and the apartment’s heat went out and it was so cold.

Thank you for any kind advice!

u/birdieelizabeth — 6 days ago

▲ 326 r/jewelry

My late grandmother’s collection

My beloved grandmother, who died in 2004, was a flapper and led an adventurous young life. Her brother-in-law was a jeweler, so he crafted a number of lovely pieces for her. These photos show what she left to me, but I know so little about this collection and the era of the various pieces. I did have some tested to verify stones and gold or silver, but if anyone has any observations about any of these pieces, I would appreciate it!

u/birdieelizabeth — 13 days ago

▲ 1 r/TrigeminalNeuralgia

Hi everyone! I am so glad to have found this community. I was diagnosed withTMJ issues in childhood, but rarely have symptoms. Typically, I wear a bite plate for sleep and otherwise forget about it.

In 2023, I had a dental procedure that went awry. The doctors admitted it didn’t go well. In the aftermath, I experienced pain unlike anything I had ever felt before. Even the strongest narcotics couldn’t touch it.

That year, I started having classic intermittent TGN symptoms when showering, washing my face, rubbing my eyes, etc. I can go months without the symptoms and then it’ll flare up and my face is excruciatingly sensitive for another few months.

I went to an ENT and was given a CT with contrast. Not an MRI. The dr suspected TGN. but the scan came back showing severe damage to my TMJ on the same side with the facial pain. She decided to refer me to a TMJ dentist rather than a neurologist. I did not pursue it for insurance reasons.

I now have new insurance and can choose to see either a neurologist or a TMJ specialist. I feel a neurologist would be more helpful. But where I am in suburban NY, it’s much easier to find a dentist who is taking new patients.

What do you all recommend? The pain is worse during this flare and I am afraid. TIA.

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u/birdieelizabeth — 18 days ago

▲ 1 r/orientalrugs

I got this for a dollar at an estate sale today. It seems too big for a dollhouse and too small for a prayer rug. What might it be used for? And is it handmade? TIA.

u/birdieelizabeth — 21 days ago