u/bitchboibruh

I’m 27 years old and despite living independently for almost a decade, my mother still make me feel small, incompetent & emotionally trapped.

Growing up felt like constantly walking on eggshells. Everything revolved around managing her moods, avoiding conflict n keeping the peace. Rational and calm conversations never worked, if you disagreed with her, she’d twist things, gaslight you or turn herself into the victim.

She thrives on misery and pity. To relatives and outsiders, she presents herself as this endlessly hardworking, selfless mother who sacrificed everything for her family. But the reality at home has always felt very different. My brother and I both moved away for work years ago, so it’s just her and my dad now, yet she still talks as if this family ruined her life.

I’ve watched this behavior for so long that it doesn’t even shock me anymore. It just feels normal. What hurts the most is that I’ve never really asked her for anything. I learned very early not to depend on her emotionally. No validation, no support, nothing. Yet somehow I still ended up being painted as the “bad son” to relatives.

My dad is probably the clearest example of what years with her does to a person. His entire life became about enduring the marriage “for the kids.” Now he just feels emotionally empty, like someone who slowly gave up on himself a long time ago and buried himself in work and money instead.

Nobody in this family is genuinely happy. My lil brother and dad look drained. Every small thing becomes a fight, tension or guilt trip.

What messes with my head is that I’m a grown man with my own life, career & responsibilities, yet around her I instantly feel like a powerless child again.

the worst part is the cultural guilt. I’m Asian, so there’s this expectation that no matter what your parents do, you respect them, tolerate everything and stay silent because “they’re family.” Hating your parents is almost taboo. All my friends seem to genuinely love theirs, so even writing this makes me feel guilty and ashamed.

But I’m exhausted carrying all this anger around. I don’t even want to hate her anymore.

I just want peace.

Before anything, I respect what Ridley Scott did here. The world building, the atmosphere, the whole cyberpunk aesthetic… it basically influenced decades of sci fi. No argument there.

But as an actual movie watching experience today? i struggled.

The biggest issue is the pacing. even people who like the film admit it’s slow, almost to a fault . It’s not the good kind of slow where tension builds… it often just feels like scenes exist to soak in visuals rather than move anything forward and that’s kind of the core problem. The movie feels more interested in its world than its story. the plot is actually pretty simple, but it somehow feels both thin and dragged out at the same time.

Deckard as a character never fully clicks either. Harrison Ford plays him very flat, which i get is intentional noir style, but it makes it hard to stay invested. you’re following him the whole time but you don’t really feel much from him.

Then there’s the emotional core. The film clearly wants to explore big ideas like humanity, identity, what it means to be alive… but it keeps everything at a distance. even critics back then pointed out it lacked development in “human terms” despite all its themes.

some scenes also just don’t age well at all. The relationship between deckard and rachael is especially uncomfortable now, in a way that feels less intentional and more awkward to sit through and I think that’s why it feels off today. Back in 1982, the visuals and ideas probably carried a lot of weight because people hadn’t seen anything like it. But now we’ve seen so many films & shows build on this template and do it with stronger storytelling and characters.

so what’s left is a movie that’s undeniably influential… but also kind of hollow as a viewing experience if you’re coming to it fresh today. Im not saying it’s bad. it’s clearly important. But “important” and “still works” aren’t the same thing.

Curious if anyone else feels this way or if it just clicks differently depending on when you first saw it

I’ve always hated this whole celebrity culture thing. People becoming famous just for being famous. Random personal stuff like marriages or kids becoming headline news, reality tv convincing people they’re one lucky break away from being a star. Back then it probably felt exaggerated… now it just feels like reality.

What makes this movie hit so hard is how uncomfortable it is. Robert De Niro as Rupert pupkin is honestly kind of terrifying because he’s not loud or obviously insane. He’s polite, persistent, almost charming at times, but completely detached from reality. Those scenes where he’s performing to cardboard cutouts or forcing himself into jerry’s life are just painful to watch in the best way and the scary part is you get him. Anyone who’s ever had a dream or wanted recognition can see where that obsession starts.

Jerry Lewis is perfect here. The whole idea of a public persona vs private exhaustion feels very real. He’s not some villain, just someone tired of being consumed by the very thing that made him successful. You can feel that tension every time rupert pushes past boundaries

Sandra Bernhard as masha is probably the most extreme character but also the most unsettling because people like that absolutely exist. the obsession, the entitlement to someone else’s life… it never feels unrealistic, just uncomfortable.

Martin Scorsese keeps everything so controlled. This movie feels like it’s building toward some big explosion (like Joker) the entire time but it never really gives you that release. It just sits there, awkward and tense, like something that never fully lands but never goes away either.

That’s what stuck with me the most. There’s no clean payoff. No big emotional release. Just this lingering feeling of secondhand embarrassment and delayed reality.

Watching it now, it feels less like satire and more like a warning that we fully walked into. Social media, influencer culture, people chasing attention at any cost. Rupert pupkin doesn’t feel like an outlier anymore.

This might be one of scorsese’s most overlooked films but honestly it feels more relevant now than ever. Great movie 9/10.

I get why everything is built around convenience now but I feel like the easier something gets, the less satisfying it ends up feeling.

When there’s zero effort involved, theres also not much buildup. You just get the thing instantly, consume it & move on. Food arrives in mins, movies are 1 click away, anything you want is always available. It’s great in the moment, but it rarely sticks.

Compare that to when there’s even a little bit of effort or waiting involved. Cooking somethinh yourself, planning a movie night, going out to get something instead of ordering it. It takes more time, but the experience feels more real somehow.

I think part of it is anticipation. When everything is instant, there’s nothing to look forward to. It’s just constant access, so nothing feels special. Also feels like convenience makes it easier to overdo things. When there’s no friction, you just keep goinf like more episodes, more scrolling, more orderin and it starts feeling kind of empty instead of enjoyable.

Not saying convenience is bad, obviously it makes life easier. But I feel like a little bit of effort or delay actually makes things more satisfying in the long run.